any suggestions would be really helpful

Hi! wondering if anyone out there could help me. I'm a mom of a 14yr old , currently a 8th grader in public middle school. He has had a few medical problems in his first 2 years of life. Such as Psitosis (of the eye) tubes in ears and repair of bilateral hernias.. all of these things were repairable thank god.. but unfortuntaly due to the hearing loss at such a early age he fell behind in his speech. (He was also 3 1/2 half weeks early when born due to a placental rupture) When he started school I had agreed to speech help because he needed it tremendously. So, in order to get the help he had to be catergorized specially for these services. The first two years of schooling he was in mainstream classes and was doing ok, his speech improved tremendously and I must admit they did a great job!!! He continued with the speech and in 3rd grade they called a PPT meeting.They had did an intelligence test on him and naturally because he couldn't communicate well because of the speech he scored below normal. The teachers told me that they were concerned with my son and had noticed that he wasn't working up to his potential,that he worked much better when he had one on one help. Unfortunatly this was not available in reg ed and he would need resource. His scores were reviewed and at that point a question of ADD had come up. ADD was never confirmed and he was written up as learning disabled. I agreed to do what was best for my son and so was the start of my son participating in the special ed program. He was tested in all subject areas later that year and the test scores showed that he was a little bit low the norm for some subject areas. At that point an annual meeting was scheduled. My son was still mostly in mainstream classes but was being pulled out for social studies and L.A.. The following year he was given a helper who would be available to him during any of his mainstream classes. My son was very good in math and he loved it. I was told then he would do better if he was pulled out and put into a smaller class. Little did I realize they were not teaching him on level and the teacher didn't even bother to look at his IEP. To make a long story short he fell behind in math and for yrs after was taught repetivness math with really no introduction to new concepts..I told them how concerned I was but that didnt seem to matter. So now, a kid who once loved this subject fell very behind.,In 6th grade they told me that he could no longer receive spec ed (even though the teachers believed he really did need it) because he was never appropriatly labeled. That a child who was learning disabled but having no significant reason can not receive special services. That is when ADD came up again. To put him down as ADD would, as they said, be a good reason and services would be able to continue. Trying to do what was best for my child I agreed because I felt he needed their help (academically and speechwise) and that these people were the professionals who knew what they were doing because for sure they had dealt with cases like this before. I entrusted my child to them and now regret that I ever did. The following year he entered middle school, 7th grade was very progressive and he was now in all mainstream classes except for pullout for speech and math. There was a helper in the classroom for anyone who needed her in the class. My son was trying to start a new leaf since alot of the kids teased him (because of his eye and speech)and he tried really hard to stay clear of this lady. He really wanted to fit in with the other kids. He did well and now he is in the 8th grade. I don't think the school is teaching him the way they should and he is very bored with the pull out classes he has this year. They still pull him out for speech along with the math but now also for reading.(This was agreed upon so that he could take a level below mastery test in the language arts area since he was not up to par) This week I got a very disturbing call from the school.As most of you know May is the month for Annual meetings where next yrs cirriculum will be discussed. My sons guidance counselor called me and wanted to discuss my sons situation. She tells me that she, the extra help teacher,the social studies teacher and the social worker think he is overwhelmed with the work this yr. I asked her if he was so overwhelmed why she was calling me so late in the yr??? That if there was indeed a problem I should of been notified earlier. I also informed her that all the papers and projects that have come home were graded well above passing and that he had missed 2cnd honors by only a few points.That on the report cards there were no negative comments from his teachers that there was a problem but in fact a few that said he had improved. My son will be entering high school next yr and she continued to discuss an alternative program at another high school in town... I was floored, I guess this program is unique in which it introduces children with learning disablities to future careers while teaching some academics.(not as much as reg ed though)From what I can gather from her though is that the emphasis is mainly on the career part. . She told me that the other 8 boys that have been moving along with him are going there and that she felt it would be a good thing for my son. I don't know much about this program but in my heart I know this is not the thing for my son.( I will have an open mind though and research it.) I know that he has a learning didability and not as bright or maybe as fast as other children. But he is a smart kid and very teachable. Recently, he is going through a lazy, hormone teenage thing and having his own personal problems dealing with puberty and peers. I think transferring to another school away from the kids he's been going to school with for the past 8 yrs will be really hard for him. It might to more damage than help .. I'm in a dilemma because I dont know what to do with him. I also forgot to mention, through all his school years I've always been very involved parent and have always helped him at home with his schoolwork when he needed it. He enjoys working with me. The school is aware of this and always commend me for all the work I do with him. It seems that he learns so much from my teaching and if I wasn't there for him who knows what he would learn? I try to introduce him to new things and I love teaching him. I'm seriously thinking of pulling him out of the system and homeschooling him myself.. But my only problem is that I have a full time job.. economically its not feasible for me to quit or cut my hours because we also have a son in college and tuition has to be paid... I feel that I could teach him so much more....but I dont know if this would be the wise thing to do.Is it possible to teach and work fulltime? and another concern: would he still be able to receive his H.S.diploma? Do they have special criteria for children who do have a learning disablity? Also is there a special ciriculum for these children? I am sorry that this letter is sooo long but I tried to give some background just in case there is someone else out there whose been through something similiar to this.. I would appreciate anyone who could help me and I hope you understood my note.. I'll be waiting patiently for any responses,, thanks,kerri