Need help with guidance of a 10yr old. Have Daughter in Self-contained class. However she falls asleep when presented with challenging academic tasks. She is behind in reading.But show aggressive behavior when she is showed new work or reading becomes a problem.
She has been transfered to another school. But however
there is no improvement, (Broad Reading). This yr alone
she is refusing to do work and sleeping in class as an
escape goat. I have been dealing with more Behavior problems this yr.I have tried charts,reward programs,
praising her alot then normally. Question?? She has
now approached me with wanting to stay home. Cause she
dont like the school there. I have been checking into
homeschooling. But however I am in question due to
her Label (bipolar/odd/adhd. I know I can do this however I know how aggressive she can be. I am running out of Schools. But most of all,I have some teachers who just dont care. They want to get rid of the problem. Then to work with her Raging,kicking,yelling.
I make her go to her room, she is not allowed to destroy things within our home. She looses things due to her behavior. She will then have to earn them back. Anything she breaks she will replace with her allowance. She has done alot of growing in the last 2yrs. However her eating habits are not well (junk Food). She is a good girl its just they dont see
how good she is. They look at the label first.
Some great input would be all so kind. Thanks

Hi Debbie, I have just joined Sidetracked Homeschoolers, and thought I would visit the special needs forum, as I have a 9 year old boy with Acute Anxiety Disorder. Boy it is like walking on eggshells mostly. I also have an 18 year old son at college.

Until mid January, I had struggled with 3 schools to get them to understand my lad. I am in UK. He was bullied incessantly by one boy for 3 years, and the purpetrator was rewarded for NOT bullying. My son was ignored mainly, and the headmaster was surprised that I upped and left - yeah, right!!

Anyway, I can only say that I have been deschooling (going interest-led) mainly, and letting school get out of our system. My lad isnt aggressive, and is good at home, and I do sympathise with your situation. I wonder whether school has just made your DD's 'condition' worse. He too cannot read all that well, or write much, and used to get stressed out a lot. I didnt have a good night's sleep for 4 years!! But now he is learning all the time thru 'play'. I do not do charts, rewards, or extreme punishments, as he doesnt need all that regime imposed on him. His time comprehension would also prohibit my imposing any long-term punishment too rigidly. His eating habits are similar to your DD's. I have joined a homeschooling course on www.universalclass.com and picked up loads of information. Also Flat Travelers are a super way of introducing real time geography.

Does your daughter have siblings. I wonder why she rages, kicks and yells. My son went thru a little of that before we left the second school. It was pure torture for him being packed off every day to a place which he didnt really understand. We had all sorts of understanding nods and talks with his form teacher, but it was all lip-service really. If you dont fit the mould, it is just hard luck, you seem to be hitting your head against a brick wall. Well, I thought, there is nobody going to fight in your child's corner but YOU. And after 4 years, I thought well I might as well do it myself, my child had an absolute right to be happy. Anyway, I am going on a bit. Let me know how you get on. I can give you my email if you like.
Best of luck






sonia aka kaoskat in UK

Hi Sonia,So how does your son enjoy the deschooling?
How long did it take to pull him up to his grade level.
I ask these questions. Cause the State of Virginia is very picky. Brittany is a challange, to get up in the morning. So that is why I have done the reward system.
If she has a bad morning I will let her earn her points back. But sometimes its very hard for her. She also states that she see things that others can't.sometimes voices as well. I have been working really hard with her. Yes to to other children in the home. I have a 13and 3 yr old. However the 13 yr old just went to live with her Daddy from my first marriage.She could'nt take it no more. I think alot of the rage was do to the them. However I dont believe in
long term punishment too. I will give her time out. But it has to be in her room. At times she will go off.
I have to hold her in a love hug. Untill she can contain herself again. It's been a hard road. However
I know that God have given me this child for a reason.
Brittany was on the apnea monitor when she was born.
She had stopped breathing on me a total of 5 times. She was also give very strong med's back then. I cant
remember the name however it was to help out with her
reflux back then.
I have also been reading the Bipolar child too. I am
learning more with the internet too. However I am just
like you are. She is better off with me. I understand
her but do they (school) really understand her? I do
feel like I am hitting a brick wall. But I now that she is having a hard time at school and just dont want
to go too. She had miss alot of days. I will work with
her at home and send work to school But when I mention
homeschooling to her teachers. They are like, she needs to be around other child her age. I am going to check out the website and to check out Flat Travelers too.
Thanks so much for the input.
Debbie and the family

Hello Debbie,
Thanks for your reply. I think our system is anti homeschooling as well, but I have read so much on homeschooling that I am convinced that the school system isnt for my son as they cant cope with children outside the 'norm'. Now, as for homeschooling, we are at the beginning of a journey, and as we all know, most journeys are uncertain, who knows the outcome. I only know that the past 4 years have been hell.

The deschooling can take any form really. I am not keeping my son UP to the imposed standards as in school. I have opted out of their system, by deregistering him from the state school. I do however need to educate HIM to go out into the world armed with confidence and knowledge. If he gains confidence along our journey, he may well feel able to return to a learning situation where there are other people. But bullying has taken its toll, and I have my doubts.

I know that the frustrations have slowly dispelled, and trust has returned between us. I dont suppose we can imagine what it is like to be a child again, to be sent somewhere for 6 hours a day, with no escape, with perhaps, other children who dont like us, or bully us, or just dont want to play with us. We seem to listen to adults who tell stories of their good/bad childhood, but we dont seem to listen to our child/children now, today, at this moment regarding their doubts, insecurities and unhappiness. Well the lesson I have learnt over the past 4 years is that listening to the various people at school got us nowhere, listening to my son EVENTUALLY got us back together trusting our instincts. Yes he has become a little clingy. And no he doesnt see many children of his age, but we are about to enquire into joining a homeschooling group a few miles away who meet regularly. We needed this 'time-out' from generated situations.

His writing and reading is well down the scale. His humour has zoomed, but I dont measure him as a human being by his successes or failures like I used to on the school/learning scale. I did talk AT HIM to begin with, like a teacher would at a class. Now I mainly LISTEN. For instance, I thought it would be 'educational' to take him on a trip tomorrow on a coach to a cheesemaking place in Cheddar, England. (HE HATES CHEESE!!) I booked the tickets and enforced my thinking on him that it would be 'good for him' and I would quite like the trip too!! However, the minute I told him, things started going wrong, and unlike your daughter, who might become erruptive, my son starts feeling ill, going weepy and I wondered what on earth was wrong. Then I put 2 and 2 together, told him we werent going and ASKED HIM if he would like to choose somewhere he might be interested (apart from amusement parks!!) He said he would like to find a stretch of beach with sand so that he could draw a big picture (art is NOT his thing). So who am I to question his 'learning'. Anyway, I am learning about 'learning' all the time.

You said about working. Do you have family/good friend who could care for your daughter. The wonderful thing about homeschooling is that it can take place anywhere, anytime. My son is more an evening kind of guy, so we dont start anything of any substance till way into the afternoon. I however was more inclined to 'want to get it over with' first thing in the morning, until I read that learning is a 24/7 educational curve. 'School' at home does not need to take more than between 1-4 hours per day. Watching educational tv programmes, finding out stuff on the internet, a bit of writing/reading, helping me bake, shopping. It is ALL educational.

I HOPE this helps.

good luck





sonia aka kaoskat in UK

Good Morning, I am Denise and I am new to post. I live in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada and soon to be 46. I live with my 13 yr. old Bipolar son Daniel and two cats, Bandi and Roxi.

I am also Bipolar.

I just wanted to check out a new forum for support.

I start homeschooling my Daniel this week. I am not too sure how to begin. I am looking to read how others manage.

I sympathise with all of you. Daniel is also "severe anxiety disorder" and medicated for that so he has special needs there too. I dont believe the schools have a clue how to deal with our loved ones. They simply have not been trained. And while they would like to pride themselves on being a caring bunch just how caring can they be when our little ones interfere with the fragile peace that they are able to maintain on a good day? And what about on a bad day? We know how challenging our loved one's needs are ourselves so we can well imagine how difficult a situation they must contend with.

I will not only be homeschooling my Daniel but I will also need to work from home too. I am a writer so I have multiple challenges here.

Thank you all so much for posting suggestions. I look forward to checking out the links.

I just hope to God that I can do justice for my Daniel cause he is very bright and should be an A student.

I look forward to reading your posts and hope you all have a terrific day! Denise

Yes, home educating a child with BP, ODD, ADHD or Anxiety Disorder is possible. We have been at it for about 10 yrs now and can't imagine going back to institutional schooling.

We have an email list at topica.com/lists/HSNBD for people home educating children with brain disorders. We'd love to have you join us.

I have found that I really have had to drop my academic priorities until my boys are stable on their meds. Then, as time goes on we can make up for lost time. As important as an education is, health and family relationships are more important. This is not to say that we ignore academics, but by taking the long view (we have until they are adults to get the education into them).

While in crisis management mode I have found the book The Explosive Child by Ross Green to be very helpful. It helped us manage the behavior until my sons were well enough and they were able to respond to behavior modification (charts) and more traditional discipline.



Kristen aka curlywhirly~
13yob, BP, LD, Gifted
14yob, BP, PTSD, LD
Jerome, wonderful hubby

Hi, my name is sherrie I have a son that has the same thing your child has. I am homeschooling now because he gets put out of all the schools he has been in.I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please help me. Thanks Sherie call me 334-725-9113

We have five boys our oldest is 13 yr We have two other sons with add but they are doing ok right now! but our 13 year ols is not he is always in trouble at school! I read your message and I felt like i was reading about my son! we have realy been thinking about home schooling him WE have an
IEP coming up real soon to talk about it I am trying to get them to help pay to have him in a home school program to have supports If you have any info that can help We could sure use any help

We have five boys our oldest is 13 yr We have two other sons with add but they are doing ok right now! but our 13 year ols is not he is always in trouble at school! I read your message and I felt like i was reading about my son! we have realy been thinking about home schooling him WE have an
IEP coming up real soon to talk about it I am trying to get them to help pay to have him in a home school program to have supports If you have any info that can help We could sure use any help