chandler

People have a tendency 2 label you based on how you look.

or other superficial things, but yeah, it's a problem, chandler. people don't care who someone is, they care about classes, or labels, or affiliation. not substance. not soul. not human. just the superficial.


Boys and Men

Boys have many things easier than girls.Most of the problems with men is that they act so stupid.
I'm speaking from my own experiences here.I am a boy myself,but I've never been able 2 have many
friends that are guys.Teenage boys are the worst! They're all doing smoking,drinking alchohol,driving crazy,and
a few things I don't even want 2 mention! I don't quite fit in with this group,but I wouldn't want 2 be a girl
either.I'm screwed!

well, don't start by playing the same game, chandler. not all boys and men are the same. a number of people here don't drink or do drugs (i don't even drink.) and men are NOT all the same. you don't have to "fit in" with any group, although it is true, most people have a serioualy bad habit (it's like smoking - they don't want to always, but they just do) of expecting everyone to fit into these artificial groups. there is some reason for grouping - it is probably instinct to group.

in the case of race, i truly believe racism is leftovers from a more primal man. we sorted ourselves into us and them, and anyone who is not US enough is a predator or prey - so we guard ourselves.

of course, instinct is not intelligence. it sees the color red and gets angry and hungry - that's instinct. intelligence is that someone has a different amount of melanin that helps protect from the sun. nothing to sort people by.


Girls and Women

Women haven't been treated as if they matter 4 milleniums.You rarely hear about them even in the Bible!

there is a popular movement (it even made the cover of time or something last month) to focus on women in the bible. i had a discussion with the author of a book about women in the bible that aimed to prove that women were equally important in scripture.

she was the one who explained to me that the meaning of the word "ezer" the hebrew word translated into "rib" means HALF, amongst many other things. i know michael will be compelled to protest here, but Rib is the wrong word in english. i believe it would make more sense to translate into english this way:

"god took half of adam and made it into eve."

that would be a better translation from hebrew. adam and eve are equal - but, people believe what they want to, chandler. if they want to believe women are inferior they will translate that way.


They are expected 2 stay at home all day and do all the cooking,cleaning,taking care of babies and stuff.
They usually don't get paid as much as men who do the same job as them.

this is a very old fashioned concept that has less place in the world today, but some people are still very old-fashioned. personally i think if two people in a relationship want careers they should both pursue them. we are equals. but, i also think we've lost the idea that is important for someone to personally raise the children.

in other cultures, for instance, in africa, you are not always raised by your parents - you are treated as though you are daughter or son by everyone in town. i have personally witnessed this means of upbringing in a chinese accupuncture business. all the workers take care of the baby - who would be in a crib - next to the tables. they all fed and changed the baby and played with the baby as if he were their own. it's a good thing - it's how americans once lived, i imagine, before our european ancestors took over.

in any case, i think a couple should at least consider someone staying at home. but not necessarily the wife - i would not mind being a house-husband, personally. my career ambitions are something i can continue to work on at home anyway.


If that's not bad enough,they have 2 look perfect! So they're expected 2 be as skinny as a piece of paper!
They also do a lot of stuff like makeup and painting their fingers and toenails.

yeah, personally i prefer women with little or no makeup, and i like women that are... well a little heavy - not necessarily huge - but cuddly :) but i am not against dating women that are skinny, i just (usually) don't.

susan sontag wrote a book about cancer, and talked a lot about tb. she thought the reason that slender women became so attractive is that tuberculosis made it attractive - women dying of tb become flushed and often extremely sensual and passionate. it's literally a bit insane... but often they also become rail thin. until this point in history heavyset women were considered MOST attractive because it was a symbol of status - of wealth. people are weird, chandler. all people are weird.


When women get married they have 2 change their last name! It gets really confusing that way!

oh, i'm fine with this. but it's a tradition that doesn't bother me - it's changing, regardless. there will always be some people that do this, though. when it is no longer the norm, some women will take their husband's name just to do something that is an old somewhat romantic tradition, not because they have to. of all the things women "must" do, i think this is the least of them. i could be wrong.


Black and White

Most people in the US are white.

that will change. the trend is toward a predominantly hispanic united states. however, NOW would be a VERY good time for whites to treat minorities better. they will be in the same boat soon enough. okay, maybe not for a long time yet. but i would play it safe, whitey :)

Now of course it really doesn't matter what color you are,

no, it doesn't.

but it used 2 be a real issue.Most people learn about the African slaves in school.

look around you chandler. go look at who gets hired to do what. there are some black people in high positions, but there are no white people at mcdonalds. slavery based on race has not ended, but now the slaves are paid.

now there are white slaves too. it is not all based on race anymore, but the plantations still exist.

this is just in the us. if you look at the clothes you own, those were made by the old fashioned kind of slave. it's TECHNICALLY illegal here. so they judt do it in indonesia or something. they have dark-skinned people there, too. the game has changed the rules, but everyone is still playing.

people shouldn't throw the word "freedom" around carelessly until this slavery - usa sponsored - ends.


People sold them like property just because they're skin was darker.And of course because the white people
were 2 lazy 2 do their own work!

this is partially true. if you really want to get right down to it, the slaves were slaves to the white southerner. the white southerner was a slave to the white northerner. the white northerner was a slave to his state - and his state was a slave to the federal government.

that doesn't make slavery okay - the blacks were the worst-off of all - for greed, and greed alone.

but the problem is bigger than you think. and i don't think anyone has come up with a solution. people go to war and people die, but more people are born into the same problems. black people still have it the worst of anyone. anyone with dark skin, really.

no revolution has ever changed that. i don't believe in revolution for this reason, but also because i hate violence.


I've even heard that February is Black History Month.
I personally don't want 2 remember it!

the truth is the truth no matter what you pretend, chandler. but no month of the year changes the fact that every day, people continue to write history in a
skewed fashion. i would rather lose black history month and actually teach black history in school. the only black history they teach in school is that blacks were our slaves and in february they teach that george washington carver made a watch and invented peanut butter. whoo hoo. thousands of years of history and we got peanut butter.

like i said, i would like to see more black history in school. or at least less history that isn't written by whites alone. that would be the real issue.


Fat and Skinny

People are expected 2 be skinny.I don't have a clue why! Well,actually this is usually only the case in the US.There are countries where being fat is considered good!

yep. in most cultures, it's still good to have big hips and a big butt. in america we get to see a little of this, too, but the country is still full of people that demand lampposts and trainrails. screw olive oil, gimme betty boop. this is another thing society will come back around on.


Something is backwards here! The US is the fattest nation!

shame makes people fatter, i think. a good healthy body is no reason to be depressed, but people are told to hate themselves for it

but i think the real reason is malnutrition. if your food isn't good for you, you have to eat more of it before your body has what it needs. gluttony aside, i think processed food is killing us and making us obese. your call.


but women can't be fat or they'll never look good enough
2 men so they can get a boyfriend and get married.

ah, not true. i KNOW it's harder for a heavy woman to get married, but the fattest people i ever knew had wedding rings.


If they get fat later then their husband will just divorce them.

sometimes. sometimes by then the man is also so fat that they just - well, it's almost perfect, isn't it?


I personally think it's better 4 women 2 be ugly so that they can get somebody who likes them 4 who they are.

LOL, that is real wisdom, chandler.


Mental Illnesses

There is 1 more thing I'll write about 4 now.People these days see Psychiatrists and they tell them they're Bipolar,Schitzophrenic,and many more names I can't remember.Then they give them weird medicine that doesn't really
help,but causes other problems.I was on this medicine that made my vision blurry! That was when I decided I
would rather jump off the Grand Canyon than take medicine again! Even depression is a diagnosis now!
It's insane.Depression is just something that comes and goes like a cold.Now I'm NOT saying medicine is NEVER necessary. It helped my mom.At least she says it does.

what this is chandler, is there's a good amount of diagnosis and treatment, and an over-amount.

just like eating - you can't starve to death, but you can die eating too much.

we are gluttons for medicine - it's one of the world's biggest industries. until that changes, you can expect that EVERYONE will have a label. something that makes them not good enough. a reason to be outcast, lose their rights, and get drugged. it's the new slavery. on top of the old slavery, i mean. treating the majority of the population as clinically insane cannot be good for society. it didn't work in nazi germany and it won't work here.

but don't get me wrong, chandler ol buddy ol pal.

EVERYONE - is indeed nuts.

but when in rome... man... when in rome.

there are two other unreasonable sterotypes you missed, of course.

one is liberal/republican. every good person is supposed to be conservative now, because the president is conservative, supposedly, and it's more patriotic or something to agree with your leader.

when clinton - who claims to be a democrat (clinton was a horrible president.) was president, it was okay to trash him anyway people could. conservatives, and rush limbaugh, who got rich trashing the president in the 90's but now condemns people for not following the president (becasue he's conservative) say that people are traitors for not LOVING bush - but they didn't love clinton, so i guess they just got really loyal and patriotic all of a sudden.

the country is made up of more than two kinds of people. it's not black and white, man and woman, us and them. everyone here, in this country - this world, is Us. some people see it, and some people don't. and i pity people that don't see it - because they **** into their karma, and it does follow them for life.

as far as patritism, i know that this country was founded by brave people who risked their lives just to say "screw this!" i am not talking about violence - i don't think violence is ever the ideal way to fix something. but before the revolution there were people complaining. call the founding fathers whiners if you want. i say, what good is freedom when you're not even free to say when something is wrong?

the answer is, it isn't.


but i believe someday, through the sheer balance of the universe, someday we humans will get it right. it's either that or die, and we're VERY stubborn. i believe we will find our way. unbelievably slowly.


lastly, this forcing everyone into groups thing is worst when it's for god. you talk about sterotypes, let's talk about heathen, bastards, and whores.

everyone is a human being, i know that's the message of your post. but we always find a way to make people lesser - whether it's skin, gender, level of income, body shape, politics, or religion.

i know you're christian, chandler. i wouldn't change that. but i would tell you to follow jesus if that's your path. in other words, when it comes to everyone else - judge not- lest you also be judged. namaste, chandler. you've got the right idea - but it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of years until you figure out how to live in a world that is nuts. all the best of luck to you.


- menn