These were in the back of a women's magazine I bought, written by Rosemary:

Good King Wenceslas

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
As the King would soon find out
When he ran out of fu-ooo-el.

'Ruddy car' The King exclaimed
As the engine spluttered
'We'll be stuck out here all night'
The angry monarch muttered
Next to Wenceslas the Queen
Did well to keep her coo-ell:
'Don't blame the car
You should have stopped
And filled the tank, you foo-ooo-ell'

'Oh that's right, blame me!' he said
'It's my fault as ever!
So tell me what the plan is now
If you're so ruddy cleh-ver'
The Queen whipped out her mobile phone
Quickly as can be-ee
Alas there was no signal there
To call the RAC-eee-eee

King and Queen sat side by side
Shivering and fuming
Suddenly a horse and cart
From the snow came looming
So wife and monarch homeward went
Pulled by humble hor-orse
And St. Stephen's feast they spent
Filing for divor-or-ce

Uh-oh! You're in big trouble, missy!



But, that was funny!

Here's another one

To 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing'

Hark! The check-out ladies sing
Filling up their tills! Ker-ching!
Turkeys, chickens, hams and joints
Piling on the Nectar points
Surely I'll be finished soon
I've been shopping since mid-June
None of this next year I swear
Let's book a nice hotel somewhere
Hark! The check-out ladies sing
Always cashback offering

Tom my husband, said he would
Do a homemade Christmas Pud
(I taught him how the oven loads
Now he thinks he's Gary Rhodes)
He asked me to get some suet
I told him I wouldn't do it
We had an almighty row
I'm doing all the cooking now
Hark! The check-out ladies sing
He sulks and won't do anything

Mrs Beasley in the shop
Makes us work until we drop
She's like Ebeneezer Scrooge
(with fewer wrinkles and more rouge)
Every Christmas Eve at noon
We close up the shop and soon
Mrs B gets rather merry
On Amontillado sherry
Hark! You ought to hear her sing
At our annual Christmas fling

Out the check-out ladies climb
Off to have a jolly time
Putting up the Christmas lights
Refereeing children's fights
Draping tinsel round the door
Hoov'ring needles from the floor
Hanging baubles from the tree
Gasping for a cup of tea
Hark! The check-out ladies fear
We'll do it all again next year