A woman brought a very limp duck into the veterinary surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said "I'm so sorry, Cuddles is dead." The distressed owner wailed "Are you sure?"
Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing. He might just be in a coma."
The vet rolled his eyes and left the room, returning a few minutes later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned with a cat. The cat jumped up on to the table, and in a delicate manner, sniffed all over the bird. The cat then sat back on it's haunches, shook it's head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 per cent certifiably, a dead duck." The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$350!" she cried. $350 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been $40, but with the lab report and the cat scan...."
greetz Ed