pokuszenie na Slovianski tekst dlja pesna
Sag mir, wo die Blumen sind / Where Have All the Flowers Gone

pevana od Marlen Ditrih (Marlene Dietrich)
www.kgv.edu.hk/german/music%20files/Marlene%20Dietrich%20-%20Sag%20mir%20wo%20die%20Blumen%20sind.mp3

nemecki tekst od Max Colpet
angliski tekst od Pete Seeger
http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/parton/2/where.html


Gde tamte kveti jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde tamte kveti jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut tamte kveti?
Devczinki ih sob`rali.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Gde `te devczinki jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde `te devczinki jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut `te devczinki?
Muz'i vse iz nim vzjali.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Gde tamte muz'i jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde tamte muz'i jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut tamte muz'i?
Dlja vojna verbovani.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Gde `te vojniki jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde `te vojniki jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut `te vojniki?
Veter duje nad grobi.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Gde tamte grobi jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde tamte grobi jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde tamte grobi jesut?
Kveti na nim rastajut.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Gde tamte kveti jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde tamte kveti jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut tamte kveti?
Devczinki ih sob`rali.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

Some points:

- I was inspired mostly by the German and English versions of the lyrics.
- I am not a good poet, so I didn't manage to use a normal rhyme, but I tried to preserve at least some sound agreement at the ends of the lines.
- I used the cz/sz/z' orthography.
- I used a grave accent (`) to shorten some words because of the required number of syllables in one line:

sta`lo se = stavalo se
sob`rali = sobirali
`te = tamte

blagodarijm Gabriel dla ten "song" ktor ja velm lubijm.
Prosijm sluhaj (sluhatje) od moj Slovio verzia:

gvorij, gde kvitis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
mlodicas ih izberit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

gvorij, gde mlodicas es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde mlodicas es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde mlodicas es
muzxis ih izberit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

gvorij, gde muzxis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde muzxis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde muzxis es
otidil, voina startit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

gvorij, gde voiakis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde voiakis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde voiaikis es
nad grobis bura vitrit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

gvorij, gde grobis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde grobis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde grobis es
vo letju viatr kvetis vitrit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

gvorij, gde kvitis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
mlodicas ih izberit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

Eugeniusx

A bit of classification:

CDA-off language: the first draft of Gabriel's Odkavski Slovianski (i.e. without declension and conjugation).
C-on language: the current favorite version of Gabriel's language (i.e. the one with conjugation).
CD-on language: the language I used for my "WWII FAQ" text (i.e. the one with conjugation and declension).
CDA-on language: the languages that provides conjugation, declension, and verb aspect (the kind iopq likes).

These four variants represent four styles of the same language. Before writing something, a writer should decide on difficulty/naturality level s/he wants to use.

The text below is written in CDA-on language:

---

Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut?
Devi ih sobrali.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

Povedej, gde ’te devi j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te devi j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te devi j’sut?
Muži ih vsih brali
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

Povedej, gde ’te muži j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te muži j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te muži j’sut?
’Te vojaki stali.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

Povedej, gde vojaki j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde vojaki j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde vojaki j’sut?
Ih zemja ukrila.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

Povedej, gde ’te zemji j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te zemji j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te zemji j’sut?
Tam kveti už rozkvet’li.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Gde oni tutčas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Čo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut?
Devi ih sberali.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?

---

Just like Gabriel I "cheated" and used the truncating apostrophe. Yeah, I know zemji wasn't a good thing, but I didn't know how to write it without plural.

I really like my translation. It sounds very natural (at least for me) and "very Slavic". Gabriel, you made a mistake trying to translate the song using the most simple sentences possible — it isn't the method for poetry. You should have more fantasy in it. And Eugeniusx... well, he's hopeless, as usual.

Oh, I didn't noice I used kak instead jak.

CDA-off language: the first draft of Gabriel's Odkavski Slovianski (i.e. without declension and conjugation).
C-on language: the current favorite version of Gabriel's language (i.e. the one with conjugation).
CD-on language: the language I used for my "WWII FAQ" text (i.e. the one with conjugation and declension).
CDA-on language: the languages that provides conjugation, declension, and verb aspect (the kind iopq likes).

Good! We could also add "P" as palatalisation and have 2*2*2*2 = 16 theoretical variants of one language. Then my language would be C-on-DAP-off, and iopq's CDAP-on.

Yeah, I know zemji wasn't a good thing, but I didn't know how to write it without plural.

You could just use 'ta zemja.

I really like my translation. It sounds very natural (at least for me) and "very Slavic".

I agree.

Gabriel, you made a mistake trying to translate the song using the most simple sentences possible ? it isn't the method for poetry. You should have more fantasy in it.

Yeah ... I am not an expert at art, I know.

Gde tamte kveti jesut,
za-czo se skrivajut?
Gde tamte kveti jesut,
czo sta`lo se?
Gde jesut tamte kveti?
Devczinki ih sob`rali.
Kogda ti budesz znat,
kogda ti budesz znat?

__________________________

gvorij, gde kvitis es
gde oni ostatil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
sxto es statil
gvorij, gde kvitis es
mlodicas ih izberit
Gda oni bu razumit
Gda oni bu razumit

____________________________

WHEN I COMPARE THESE TWO TEXTS :

kveti - better
es - better
gda - better
znat - better

DEVCZINKI - MLODICAS - DEVICI

ANY OF THESE WORDS IS ACCEPTABLE [DEVCZINKI IS SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE].



I.

Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Gde oni tutèas jesut?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut,
Èo s nimi se stalo?
Povedej, gde ’te kveti j’sut?
Devi ih sobrali.
Kak urozumet,
Kak urozumet?
__________________________________

1.
I WONDER HOW THE INFINITIVE OF "povedej" IS.

2.
"j'sut" IS DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE.

3.
DO YOU CONJUGATE PERSONAL PRONOUNS [even in instrumental] ? IT'S NOT VERY PRACTICAL.
s nimi
[WHAT IS THE BASIC FORM OF "nimi" THEN ?

4.
"devi" - good word for "girls".

5.
WHAT DOES "urozumet" MEAN ? [do you mean understand or having understood or
make st. understandable or get known ..... ?

sorry I meant declinate in 3.

Anyway, using instrumental for personal pronouns is meking grammar complicated.

Why not use just 2 cases for these pronouns [nominative and accusative] ?

I think when it's working in other natural languages why not in all-slavic ?

I.

"j'sut" IS DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE.

Yes. But it is a word shortened for the sake of poetry, the normal form is jesut ("they are").

"jesut" comprises of two words : "je" and "su"

on je, ona je, ono je

oni su

WHY DO YOU BIND TWO SEPARATE WORDS ?


I.

es - better

May I ask which Slavic langauge uses es?

gda - better

Kogda is better, according to the letter-correspondence method.

ANY OF THESE WORDS IS ACCEPTABLE [DEVCZINKI IS SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE].

Devczinka is the most common Slavic word, I did the letter-correspondence method for this word really carefully.

Kogda is better, according to the letter-correspondence method.

OK. but on the other hand it is not true and it doesn't go hand in hand with
"Devczinka" - because you have there cluster of "vcz".

_________________________________________________________________________

WHICH SLAVIC LANG USES "jesut" ? [if does it's still too long to use]



I.