The story goes on. For your review and critics.

Andrej Moraczewski.
Podmoskovje, 2000.

*Dalej mi szli lesom. Stavalo gorjaczo, i bilo mnogo komarov. Sczastlivo, mi vse blagorozumno vzjali s soboju sredstvo ot komarov «Tajga», i totczas aktivno upotrebjali jego.
K dvum czasam dnja, pod najviszoj gorjacznej, mi viszli iz lesa k selu Novoczerkasskoe. Prohodjacze prez selo, mi, potne i izmuczene zsadzsoju, ne uterpeli i ostanovili sja u studni. Vse czredoju oblili sja hladnoju vodoju i ispili, ne gljadjacze na pravilo «ne pit mnogo v pohode». Rezultat ne potreboval sebja oczekat. Sledujuszczij zse hod stal dlja nas visze tjazski. Visze togo, totczas mi szli ne lesom, a polem, pod gorjaczim solncem. Ja vlekl sja vzadu, za vsemi, i ne imal ni jednoj misli v glove. Ne hotel niczo, tolko zakonczit to muczenje.
Jak radostni bili mi, kogda doszli do lesa! Mi totczas zse ostanovili sja na odpoczinok. Ljoha D. najdel v prikope staru rdzsavu pruzsinu od avtomobilnogo amortizatora i, nedolgo misljuczi, metnul jo ob zemju. Pruzsina zvonko odskoczila i bez malogo ne udarila jego nogu.
V to vremeno, jak mi szli dalej lesom, blizil sja veczer. Mi najdeli na mape jezerko i reszili zse budemo noczovat pri nem.
Doszli mi polno umorene, i komari bili juzs bedoju, ne reagovali na «Tajgu». Hoteli mi si totczas metnut rjukzak na zemju i skaknut v vodu. Ale Nina kazala zse kupanje bude tolko posle veczeri. A posle veczeri juzs si ne hoteli: hladno bilo. Ale ja jednako polezl v vodu: zsal, tak mnogo hoteli izkupat sja, i Sasza i Kunja polezli juzs. Merzko bilo tam: voda neczista, mutna, na dne il i vodorosti. Ja skoro vilezl.
Posle Nina poslala menja do Jekimova uznat, kogda zutra budemo pobudzsat sja. Ja czestno napravil sja ispolnjat poruczenje. Ja doszjol do Jekimova i virovnil sja jak budto pred naczelnikom: «V ktorom czase bude zutra pobudzsenje?» Jekimov ogljadel menja. «Jak sja pobudim! Kak zvasz se? Andrej to znaczi, moj tezka!»*

tezka - Russian word for "namesake" - when two persons have the same name.

mi szli lesom -- I'm not sure how well it instrumental case would be understood here. I would rather say something like "mi szli prez les".

K dvum czasam dnja -- avoid the word "czas" whenever it's possible. Say "V 14:00".

Vse czredoju -- I don't like "czreda" -- how many people would understand it? What about "Vse po porjadku"? Or "Jedin za inim mi oblili sja...".

ispili -- are you sure that to unvoice the prefix "iz-" is a wise idea? Maybe it should be better to keep the etymological spelling?

v glove -- Why a Polish-like "glova"? You usually write in South Slavic.

ostanovili sja -- There is no good word for "to stop". What about "zavstali"? (Russian "vstali", Czech "zastali", Croatian "zaustali")

najdel -- ?! -- You used "szli" earlier, so why you're using past tense ending with present tense stem here?

metnul jo -- I'm not sure about "metnul"... What about "vergnul"? And Sloviaskist prefer to use "ju" (to be more consistent with feminine declension: "Vergnul kogo? -- Ju / Rdzsavu pruzsinu").

V to vremeno -- and here we can use "czas". Even though this word would be understood differently, the sentence would be understood correctly by all Slavs.

doszjol -- !? -- This is transliteration of Russian that does not make sense even from Russian point of view -- How your verb for "to go" is declined? "szjol-szla-szlo"? No Slavic language has palatalization here, and AFAIK most languages have vowel "e" here. A little advice -- don't use "jo" ever (except some non-Slavic words maybe), in Slavic languages "jo" regularly mutated to "je". "Jo" re-appeared in the East Slavic languages, but these forms should not be borrowed.

naczelnikom -- I guess it's a guy who sits in a boat ("na czelne")? Try to use universal "szef" or "bos".

tezka -- Maybe "jedno-imennik"?

And generally... You make me wonder what was so special in that summer of 2000, why you decided to write about it? You were abdicated by Aliens or something? I'm intrigued, and desperately waiting for the part III!

"mi szli lesom -- I'm not sure how well it instrumental case would be understood here. I would rather say something like "mi szli prez les". "
I can agree with you. But let's hear others.

"K dvum czasam dnja -- avoid the word "czas" whenever it's possible. Say "V 14:00". "
I didn't have a chronometer with me!
Czas is not good, I agree...

"Vse czredoju -- I don't like "czreda" -- how many people would understand it? What about "Vse po porjadku"? Or "Jedin za inim mi oblili sja...". "
Yes, I don't know how common is this word...

"ispili -- are you sure that to unvoice the prefix "iz-" is a wise idea? Maybe it should be better to keep the etymological spelling?"
Surely, sorry, it's a mistake.

"v glove -- Why a Polish-like "glova"? You usually write in South Slavic. "
Yes, Slovianski says to write Polish-like. I am always forgetting about that, because still have doubts. For me South Slavic seems more logical.

"ostanovili sja -- There is no good word for "to stop". What about "zavstali"? (Russian "vstali", Czech "zastali", Croatian "zaustali") "

why is "ostanovit' sja" not good? This is not me who chosed this word, here I trusted the Slovianski team.

"najdel -- ?! -- You used "szli" earlier, so why you're using past tense ending with present tense stem here? "
Right, I will correct.

"metnul jo -- I'm not sure about "metnul"... What about "vergnul"? And Sloviaskist prefer to use "ju" (to be more consistent with feminine declension: "Vergnul kogo? -- Ju / Rdzsavu pruzsinu"). "
For me vergnul is not clear...
Slovianski team chosed "metnut'" however

"V to vremeno -- and here we can use "czas". Even though this word would be understood differently, the sentence would be understood correctly by all Slavs."
but vremeno is more common in this sense, isn't it?

"doszjol -- !? -- This is transliteration of Russian that does not make sense even from Russian point of view -- How your verb for "to go" is declined? "szjol-szla-szlo"? No Slavic language has palatalization here, and AFAIK most languages have vowel "e" here. A little advice -- don't use "jo" ever (except some non-Slavic words maybe), in Slavic languages "jo" regularly mutated to "je". "Jo" re-appeared in the East Slavic languages, but these forms should not be borrowed. "
surely, surely! it's just a typo (I typed in cyrillic first, and then "e''" was converted to "jo" by the transliteration tool!)

"naczelnikom -- I guess it's a guy who sits in a boat ("na czelne")? Try to use universal "szef" or "bos". "
naczelnik is more-less common, but may be it will be also understandable like "naczalnik"? I shall use foreign loans only in the very end if I have no more ideas.

"tezka -- Maybe "jedno-imennik"? "
yes, later I changed.

"And generally... You make me wonder what was so special in that summer of 2000, why you decided to write about it? You were abdicated by Aliens or something? I'm intrigued, and desperately waiting for the part III!"
I just try to use the language. This is not a thriller, just silly story that I wrote when I was 15. Don't take it seriously. Just understand that for the moment I don't fell enough strong to translate some serious literature.

mi szli lesom -- I'm not sure how well it instrumental case would be understood here. I would rather say something like "mi szli prez les".
~~~~~~~~~~~
I understood the first. I actually like it better than the suggested second version.
But that may be because the word "prez" looks weird to me (I want to change it to "prze" or "przy" [Polish prejudic]).

I believe that only Russian, Ukrainian and Serbo-Croation use the instrumental case.
And I suppose that SLOVIO "cxrez" or "skroz" are out of the question?
__________

"K dvum czasam dnja -- avoid the word "czas" whenever it's possible. Say "V 14:00". "
I didn't have a chronometer with me!
Czas is not good, I agree...
~~~~~~~
I do not understand why "czas" is not good. Yes, yes, there is confusion and false friends among the languages; but if we all agree that "czas" means "hour" and not "time" - then Amen - "So it is written, so it shall be."
SLOVIO defines "czas" as "hour" and "vrem" as "time"

I find using the numeric system to express "hourly time" as "cold" - like being in an iron and steel train station. Whereas, "k dvum czasam dnja" is warm and inviting.
(Bozx moj! ej?)
__________
"Vse czredoju -- I don't like "czreda" -- how many people would understand it? What about "Vse po porjadku"? Or "Jedin za inim mi oblili sja...". "
Yes, I don't know how common is this word...
~~~~~~~~~
czredoju/czreda - what is this? Akin to Russian word "sreda"?
The translation here is what? "All around, all among them"?
If so, then why the "cz"? Same sound as "cx"?
___________
"ispili -- are you sure that to unvoice the prefix "iz-" is a wise idea? Maybe it should be better to keep the etymological spelling?"
Surely, sorry, it's a mistake.
~~~~~~~~~~
as in, "to drain or exhaust oneself" ?
________________
________________
PROSIJM, IS THIS AN EXERCISE IN TRANSLATING RUSSIAN INTO .... WHAT? SLOVIANSKI? or something sorta, kinda like Slovianski? ?
Help me understand, pozxal'sta

Vse czredoju -- I don't like "czreda" -- how many people would understand it? What about "Vse po porjadku"? Or "Jedin za inim mi oblili sja...". "
Yes, I don't know how common is this word...



STREDA je preto stredou, ze je uprostred (v strede) pracovneho tyzdna.

Ale neviem, preco by to mala byt CZREDA a preco nie napr. STREDA, alebo SREDA.
Preco je tam to CZ ?

Czreda to je tr'ida czesszkoju abo r'ad

I didn't understand too this word. What it means?

Russian czereda means "sequence", "order". I suggest porjadok for it.

Vse czredoju oblili sja hladnoju vodoju means "Everyone one after another poured on themselves cold water"

R'ad means ORDER not WEDNESDAY

te nie rozumiem

I'm sorry ...I no understand too

Vse czredoju oblili sja hladnoju vodoju i ispili,
_________________
root word = cxerjod, ÷åð¸ä ~ "e" with 2-dots (umlaut) = "TURN" "COURSE"

BUT:

root word = cxered, ÷åðåä ~ "e' without accent = "bout" - e.g. fighting a boxing bout in the boxing ring (Mohammed Ali/Casius Clay)
__________________________

CXERJOD

Nastal ego cxerjod = íàñòàë åãî ÷åð¸ä = his time/turn has come

Teper' vasx cxerjod = òåïåðü âàø ÷åð¸ä = it is your turn now

Other forms of word:

Ocxered' = î÷åðåäü = turn and turn about, in turn, by turns = po ocxeredi ïî î÷åðåäè

to take turns = delat' po ocxerjodno = äåëàòü ïîî÷åð¸äíî
to wait one's turn = zxdat' svoej ocxepredi = æäàòü ñâîåé î÷åðåäè
out of turn = vne ocxeredi = âíå î÷åðåäè

Anonimnik's cxerjod/cxered distinction is nonsense.

Nonsense?

Is there a distinction?
If there is a distinction, then there is no nonsense.
Nie?

"Vasx cxered" in boxing is the same word.

In my text, "vse cxredoju" should mean "one by one". OK I see that it is confusing. Anyway, I don't see a better solution still. "Vse r'adom" will also be a problem: "r'adom" means "near" in Russian.

Is there a distinction?
If there is a distinction, then there is no nonsense.

There is no distinction of that kind in Russian.

My apologies to Mr Hellerick.
I am still confused.
You wrote that

"There is no distinction of that kind in Russian."

Based upon this statement then, I would understand from you that:

There is no difference/distinction between Russian words slovio-ised as:

cxerjod
and
cxered


One Russian online dictionary defines these differently as follows:

cxerjod - TURN, COURSE
and
cxered - BOUT

http://www.yxo.com/

But based upon your comment that there is "no distinction," both of these words are the same, even though spelled differently, and they may be defined collectively by the English words TURN, BOUT, COURSE?

Da?

They are the same word

/c^ered/ and /c^ere"d/ are two acceptable spellings of the same word, they don't represent any difference in lexical meaning. It's just the letter /e"/ (jo) is considered necessary in texts for children, while it's avoided in "serious" texts and is substituted to /e/. Two entries in yxo.com most likely appeared because their data base is a compilation of several sources -- some of them used /e"/ and some /e/.

Drugi den.

Tutden v pervi raz prepravjali sja prez reku. Reczka bila nesziroka, mozslivo preskaknut, ale mi totczas ne znali czo delat. Bezpriczinna panika. Nina vzjala rukovodstvo processom, i mi skoro perepravili sja.

Bilo jeszcze ne gorjaczo, i mi bodro szli po szirokoj lesnoj droge i igrali v «kontakt». Ale gorjacznja ne dala dolgo czekat, i skoro igrat juzs nam ne hotelo sja. Idet bilo tjazsko. Skoro mi doszli do mesteczka Lesnoj i ostanovili sja u studni.

Gruppa Jekimova poszla borzo, mnogo borzo, i mi skoro zaostali od nih. Ja vlekl sja vzadu, za vsemi. Nasza sistema bila takova: 40 minut hodba, 10 minut odpoczinok. 10 minut odpoczinka czekamo od momenta prihoda poslednego czloveka. A posledni bil ja, i pre to odpoczival najmene dolgo, nezse vse. I kogda znovu Jekimovska gruppa czekala nas, ja poczal mislit, zse jesli ja budu idet jedin iz pervih, to budu odpoczivat visze 10 minut to vremeno, hvila vse ini meszkajut. I togda ja budu idet rovno 40 minut!

Kogda Jekimov poczal idet dalej, ja totczas pospehal za nim, czobi ne zaostavat. Tak ja szel celi den.

______________
I am not sure:

v pervi raz - for the first time
prepravjat' s'a (prez reku) - to cross (a river)
preskaknut
zaostat' / zaostavat - to be late (every language seems to have own variant)
hvila - while
meka - to be late (slowly)
rovno - exactly (?)
spehat' - hurry
celi de - whole day