Email Marketing Software

Hi,

Can anyone tell me about good email marketing software that they might have used? I am looking for a way of managing our email marketing (creating lists, sending, writing newsletters, managing databses, opt-ins, opt outs, click-thrus etc. etc.) and am very put off by these companies which charge a monthly fee and then supposidly do a lot of the work for you! - I want something that will still give us a very hands on approach but that will make various aspects easier - basically some software that i can buy and then that we can just use ourselves...

All help and advice very gratefully received!!

Danny