I'm planning on running for president in 2008. Part of my platform will be to make it legal for each citizen (more on how you can be a citizen later) to have the right to kill one professional musician.

You only get one, and by professional I mean they must have a cd you can purchase in stores. You can't kill entire bands, just one musician.

Who would it be?

At first I thought I would toast Yanni, but now I'm leaning towards Josh Groban. I think enough other people would go after Yanni.

I'm voting for Cat for president....

bono

definitely bono.

Only one? It's too hard. Let me see...Chris de Burgh...Sting...Phil Collins...Cliff Richard...Celine Dion...that guy who won the English TV popsinger's show, Gareth Gates...decisions...decisions...

It's no good. I'm gonna have to roll some dice to decide or something.

Gareth.

What is it with you English and your messed up names.

Nigel, Ian...How about a Bob...HUH!!?!?!

Excepting Gareth is a Welsh name. Lol.

Then who will save the world?

That's who...lol! Take her out too!

me! me! Kill me!

No way Sheryl Crow!! She's far too hot!

Then at least tape her mouth shut.

Fred Durst....

god, i want to kill more than one though!!!!

I'm afraid I'll have to veto that suggestion too. You can remove her vocal cords if you like, though. Will that do?

...we distinguish between all these supposed national distinctions on his little frickin archipelligo? I mean Wales is like a 20 minute bike ride from London and he wants us to give a crap.

Gareth is a GAY BRITTISH NAME.

After all the rather unattractive bile had finally setled on Squid's dribbling chin, he actually came to the right conclusion. Gareth is, indeed, a gay British name. Well done, sir.

he still can't spell.

It's: "British" and "archipelago"

Sigh...Massholes. :P

form a coalition - each person in the group would have to knock off a musician that also corresponds with other member's most hated choices. that way, we all get what we want!

Bono is far too cute to kill.  Just gag him and tie him to my bed.

If we're in a killing mood, there's still a Bee Gee left.

Ted Nugnet needs to be taken out

You and whose army?

My army of tofu eating tree huggers!

Glad to see you are feeling better VB.

:P

I've decdided on mine...

J to the Lo.

She almost slipped by because I refuse to think of her as a musician, but she does have cds in the store.

So does David Hasslehoff. If Someone out there is undecided, could you please take him out.

Do it for the good of humanity.

As president, I will pass a law banishing all rock stars over 50 to VH1 permanently.

So don't waste your lone kill on a Rolling Stone or member of Aerosmith unless you feel banishment is not enough and really want 'em dead.

The Nuge will take out your tofu eating army with his compound bow, gut them, and eat them on his Xmas special.

We'll have to use a sub-orbital laser cannon to take him out.

Chrissie Hynde

Chrissie's a great singer! WTF is the matter with ya?!

I blame the move from the old (dead) board - it's messing with people's minds I tells ya.....

"Did I tell you why I hate sports? Because I hate winners and people who have to win all the time." - Chrissie Hynde

"Have we gone to war yet? We fuckin' deserve to get bombed. Bring it on. Let's get rid of all the economic shit this country represents! Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win!" - Chrissie Hynde

So she's a little passionate, what's your point?

The first point was pretty spot on, I think. Her second point was common sense hidden under a thick creamy layer of putting your dumbass on.

Hell, I thought Chrissy Hynde was already dead. If that's how you want to use your vote, though...

she just looks dead is all...

(LOL, Hellbomb!)

Okay, I wish to kill this guy that I work with. He's nothin' but a TOOL.
http://www.mitchseidman.com/

Larry from Three's Company?

The web counts. If you can buy his cds online, he's a professional musician. You can vote him dead.

can we vote to have all politicians be required to record a song before they take office?

That everyone should have to record at least one album in their lifetime. We all have at least one in us.

You're just bitter because you apparently never win

"VB's Very Best of Drunken Bawdy Drinking Songs"

Either that or "Rhyme Along With VB and Sock Puppet Sam"

then we all qualify for the death sentence...

Someone figured out my plot.

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddlesome kids!

Eminem.

Justin Timberlake....I'll give you something to Cry a FRICKIN' RIVER ABOUT YA NANCY BOY WHACKO JACKO IMITATING FREAK!

oh, and jacko.

Does it have to be a musician? Can it be someone else in the music field? I'd vote for Louis J Pearlman, who's responsible for N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, O-Town, and pretty much all that awful music to come out of Orlando Florida. Bonus points if I could go back in time and kill him before he caused all this mess.

If it has to be a musician, and I can be somewhat loose on that definition, I'd go with Fred Durst. Ever notice that all three of his band's album titles have gay overtones (Three Dollar Bill Y'All, Significant Other, Chocolate Starfish...)? Is that a joke, or is he subtly hinting at something? Other candidates include Axl Rose (um, it doesn't take eleven years to record an album, and it doesn't take a genius to stage a tour) and Richard Clayderman (although he'd probably bore his assassin to sleep before the deed was done).

CF

Scott Stapp. ...Or whateverthehell his name is.

I'd like to push him that last six feet to the edge, and it would, in fact, be oh-so-very far down.

Serj Tankien (or however you spell it)