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Barrie, Ontario (Reporter 32) - Ding, Ding Chorneydork says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus. Wednesday night, doctors brought Igor's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
"Thanks to my Jewsish doctor's I now feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Igor, a grey-beared man in his early-50s, told reporter 32 from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Toronto.
"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Scrotumbalss at the Animal Rescue Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."
Igor, who is serving a four-year sentence for distributing photos of him having sex with animals on internet forums, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
"When I woke up in the parking lot at the Landing Strip strip club I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Igor said.
"I don't know who did this to me." quirped Igor. The doctor treating Igor said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the pervert's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
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