INTRODUCTION Smiling Green Cutty waves at the observer then zips away waving as against a Starry field letters appear getting bigger and larger then sliding off the Screen ~ THE SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER ~
~ stage left pan to partially decorated Christmas Tree.
A voice is heard ~ coming from behind the Christmas tree. A hand in a Housecoat places a bulb on a branch. The hand pauses. A sigh is heard as it places another bulb.
"Twas the days before Christmas and all through the night
I spent hiding presents making sure they are out of site.
No matter how hard I tred to hide them no matter how sound.
The presents somehow before Christmas would still be found.
Last year I hid em up the chimney, and they were found when smoke from a fire some one lit came back down so I said Santa put them there early to save time....
The year before that I disguised them so very good someone sat on them thinking them to be a very over stuffed chair .. It's such a hassel"
The hand in the Housecoat sleave hangs another bulb. Part of a string of lites falls off a branch of the tree. A deep Sigh is heard.
~stage right ~ A Guy in a sweater vest and many pocketed jacket appears ~ holding a towel in his left hand and an interesting looking cylendricl object in his right hand. He speasks very excidely ~
"DON'T fall out trying to figure how to hide your Christmas presents. I have GOT the HOOPIEST soltion here with this SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER. IT IS SIMPLE ... IT IS EASY TO USE .. It's SO HOOPY AND Far Out EASIER THEN FIGHTING OVER WHY PPRESENTS CAN'T BE OPENED WHEN THEY ARE FOUND TOO EARLY.
YOU WILL NEVER NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HIDING YOUR PRESENTS EVER AGAIN WITH THE SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER..
SOME PRESENTS CAN TALK ~ ESPECIALLY IF OBTAINED FROM THE SYRIUS CYBERNETICS CORPORATIION. WHEN TURNED ON THEY TEND TO GET LONELY AFTER BEING HIDDEN AND NOT USED. A SOMEODY ELSES PROBLM FIELD WILL KEEP THEM FROM BEING HEARD WHILE ENTERTAINING THE PRESENTS WITH MUZAC AND INFROMATIOIN SHAREING THAT CAN ONLY BE HEARD BY THE PRESENT WITH A LINK.
THEREFOR DO NOT GIVE ANYONE A SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX`MAKER AS A PRESENT IF YOU PLAN ON HIDING IT AS IT WILL TALK TO ITSELF IF IT HAS A SIRUS PERFECT PERSONALITY CHIP INSTALLED.
Before using The Somebody Elses Problem Vortex maker you must wrap the present as obnoxiously as possible. I like Peuce and brown wrapping papper with pink / dull green stripes stripes and wrap with Orangeish yellow ribbons with Purple and Red spots on the ribbon with frayed edges. The more obnoxious the wrapping paper AND METHOD OF WRAPPING the more effective the Somebody Else's Problem Vortex Maker is. After wrapping and decorating the present as mentioned as digustingly disgusting as possible ~ surround the present with the Somebody Elses Problem Vortex and your present will not be found until you are ready to give it to the recepient.
THE SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER IS JUST WHAT YOU NEED TO SOLVE YOUR PRESENT HIDING WOES AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR PRESENTS BEING FOUND BEFORE IT IS TIME TO OPEN THEM. GET YOURS TODAY AND YOUR PRESENT HIDING PROBLEM WILL GO AWWAAYYYyy. AND IT IS ONLY 24 ALTERIAN DOLLERS. THATS 42 BACKWARDS AND ALREADY IT COSTS LESS THEN THE ANSWER TO LIFE THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING. GET YOUR'S NOW AND HAVE AN AMAZINGLY HOOPY CHRISTMAS !!!! IT CAN ALSO BE USED TO GET RID OF ALL THE WRAPPINGS AND OTHER STUFF LAYING ARROUND AFTER THE PRESENTS HAVE BEEN OPENED IF GUESTS SHOW UP SUDDENLY AFTERWARDS. "
ON BOTTOM OF SCREEN IN LARGE FRIENDLY RED LETTERS APPEARS THE WORDS ~
DONT'PANIC ~ WARNING - DO NOT USE A SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER NEAR AN IMPROBABILITY VORTEX GENERATOR. IT HAS BEEN FOUND THAT THEY CAN CANCELL EACH OTHER OUT AND THE PRESENT WILL BE FOUND EASIER UNLESS IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING ELSE THEN IT WILL NO LONGER BE THE PRESENT INTENDED TO BE GIVEN..
The Guy goes to stage center and then tosses his Towel over his sholder saying ~ " THE SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER IS SO VERY SIMPLE TO USE AND WORKS SO WELL I HAVE AN AMAZINGLY HOOPY IDEA. I THINK I WILL WAIT RIGHT HERE UNTIL SANTA ARRIVES." He then aims The Somebody Else's Problem Vortex Maker at himself and promptly disappears ~ Vortex Maker, Towel and all.
A Voice is heard seemingly floating in the air. " A HOOPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. Now where can I get something to eat? I may be here awhile.. "
aHoopyGuy@Yahoo.com
REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS
Timeloyd Rich GALACTIC PICNIC INFRO. AND GAKACTIC ORDER OF TOWELERSGalacticPicnic@RespectThePlanet.comMSN MESSENGER Buddy List ~ Timeloyd@webtv.net Taimm@webtv.net [_-_}+
http://community.webtv.net/Taimloyd/FORAGINGTHEEDIBLE http://community.webtv.net/Taimloyd/SMUDGINGCEREMONY HAVE A FANTASTIC AND MARVELOUSLY SHININ YEAR REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS DNA4FR IS [o__} : : : :
http://community.webtv.net/Timeloyd/GALACTICHITCHHIKER REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS DNA4FR
