BLACK FRIDAY IS OVER AND THE PRESENTS ARE ALL GOT> NOW WHERE TO HIDE THEM SO THEY WONT BE FOUND. I THEN TURN ON THE TV AND
INTRODUCTION
Smiling Green Cutey waves at the observer then zips away like a planet being chased by a comet and waving as against a Starry field letters appear getting bigger and larger then sliding off the Screen ~ THE SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER ~
~ stage left pan to partially decorated Christmas Tree.
A voice is heard ~ coming from behind the Christmas tree. A hand in a Housecoat appears and places a bulb on a branch. The hand pauses. A sigh is heard as it places another bulb.
"Twas the days before Christmas and all through the night
I spent hiding presents making sure they are out of site.
No matter how hard I tred to hide them no matter how sound.
The presents somehow before Christmas would still be found.
Last year I hid em up the chimney, and they were found when smoke from a fire some one lit came back down so I said Santa put them there early to save time....
The year before that I disguised them so very good someone sat on them thinking them to be a very over stuffed chair .. It's such a hassel"
The hand in the Housecoat sleave hangs another bulb. Part of a string of lites falls off a branch of the tree. A deep Sigh is heard.
~stage right ~ A Guy in a sweater vest and many pocketed jacket appears ~ holding a far out towel in his left hand and an interesting looking cylendricl object in his right hand. He speaks very excidely ~
"DON'T fall out trying to figure out how to hide your Christmas presents. The SEASON will be Jolly. I have GOT the HOOPIEST soltion here with this SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER. IT IS SIMPLE ... IT IS EASY TO USE .. It's SO HOOPY AND Far Out EASIER THEN FIGHTING OVER WHY PRESENTS CAN'T BE OPENED WHEN THEY ARE FOUND TOO EARLY.
YOU WILL NEVER NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HIDING YOUR PRESENTS EVER AGAIN WITH THE SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER..
SOME PRESENTS CAN TALK ~ ESPECIALLY IF OBTAINED FROM THE SYRIUS CYBERNETICS CORPORATIION. WHEN TURNED ON THEY TEND TO GET LONELY AFTER BEING HIDDEN AND NOT USED. A SOMEODY ELSES PROBLM FIELD WILL KEEP THEM FROM BEING HEARD WHILE ENTERTAINING THE PRESENTS WITH MUZAC AND INFROMATIOIN SHAREING THAT CAN ONLY BE HEARD BY THE PRESENT WITH A LINK.
THEREFOR DO NOT GIVE ANYONE A SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX`MAKER AS A PRESENT IF YOU PLAN ON HIDING IT AS IT WILL TALK TO ITSELF IF IT HAS A SIRUS PERFECT PERSONALITY CHIP INSTALLED MAKING THE PRESENT EASIER TO FIND..
Before using The Somebody Elses Problem Vortex maker you must wrap the present as obnoxiously as possible. I like Peuce and brown wrapping papper with pink / dull green stripes stripes and wrap with Orangeish yellow ribbons with Purple and Red spots on the ribbon with frayed edges. The more obnoxious the wrapping paper AND METHOD OF WRAPPING the more effective the Somebody Else's Problem Vortex Maker is. After wrapping and decorating the present as mentioned as digustingly disgusting as possible ~ surround the present with the Somebody Elses Problem Vortex and your present will not be found until you are ready to give it to the recepient.
THE SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER IS JUST WHAT YOU NEED TO SOLVE YOUR PRESENT HIDING WOES AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR PRESENTS BEING FOUND BEFORE IT IS TIME TO OPEN THEM. GET YOURS TODAY AND YOUR PRESENT HIDING PROBLEM WILL GO AWWAAYYYyy. AND IT IS ONLY 24 ALTERIAN DOLLERS. THATS 42 BACKWARDS AND ALREADY IT COSTS LESS THEN THE ANSWER TO LIFE THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING. GET YOUR'S NOW AND HAVE AN AMAZINGLY HOOPY CHRISTMAS !!!! IT CAN ALSO BE USED TO GET RID OF ALL THE WRAPPINGS AND OTHER STUFF LAYING ARROUND AFTER THE PRESENTS HAVE BEEN OPENED IF GUESTS SHOW UP SUDDENLY AFTERWARDS. "
ON BOTTOM OF SCREEN IN LARGE FRIENDLY RED LETTERS APPEARS THE WORDS ~
DONT' PANIC ~ WARNING - DO NOT USE A SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER NEAR AN IMPROBABILITY VORTEX GENERATOR. IT HAS BEEN FOUND THAT THEY CAN CANCELL EACH OTHER OUT AND THE PRESENT WILL BE FOUND EASIER UNLESS IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING ELSE THEN IT WILL NO LONGER BE THE PRESENT INTENDED TO BE GIVEN..
The Guy goes to stage center and then tosses his Towel over his sholder saying
~ " THE SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM VORTEX MAKER IS SO VERY SIMPLE TO USE AND WORKS SO WELL I HAVE AN AMAZINGLY HOOPY IDEA. I THINK I WILL WAIT RIGHT HERE UNTIL SANTA ARRIVES."
He then aims The Somebody Else's Problem Vortex Maker at himself and promptly disappears ~ Vortex Maker, Towel and all.
A Voice is heard seemingly floating in the air. " A HOOPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. Now where can I get something to eat? I may be here awhile.. ".
Last year I used a Somebody Elses Problem Vortex Maker and nobody could find the presents until I accidently sat on it and remembered where it was and deactivated it Christmas Eve.
A HOOPY GUY
aHoopyGuy@Yahoo.com
GalacticPicnic@Yahoo.com
REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS. HAVE A MARVELOUS CHRISTMAS AND A SHININ YEAR
Timeloyd
[Oo_) : : : : +
A SUGGESTION just in case the Somebody Else's Problem Vortex Generator gets turned off, deactivated by close proximity to a perfect people personality generator,
What my parents did to keep my brother and I from opening our presents early was that we had to put numbers instead of names on the presents. Only the person doing so knew what number went to what person. If you opened a present in advance it became yours and the person whose present you opened got to keep the one you were to get from the person who wrapped it. None the less I opened one early as being the oldest I figured I would be number 3. I opened it only to find some real fancy panties and night gown my Dad had got my Mom. She got my present which was something I really wanted and I had to keep hers so I hid them. EMBEARESSED to the max. After New Years MOM agreed to trade presents but she told me she would never agree to it again. I never again opened a numbered present before Christmas except
The Yule Present was then created as well. You can open 1 present only on Yule ~ December 21. If a present was too big or important like a new TV set which I think was why it started it would be a Yule Present. I MIGHT open one I got myself figuring if there was .... oh yes I always got myself a present I knew I wanted so I would know that there was at least one present I would like besides Santa's. Did you ever notice the Snow Men that appeared after Christmas. I made one of them then ~ but never no more did I open any presents with numbers on them unless given to me by the person who wrapped them.
I always liked the ones from Santa. He never used numbers, and he never gave me clothes. THANKS SANTA @<;^{I)
REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS
[0__} : : : : +
Santa & Reindeer to be used on all Christmas postings means Merry Christmas Santa Is Coming To Town.
OH YES I SAW A TEA SHIRT THAT READ
~ IT ISNT OVER TILL THE FAT MAN BRINGS.
HAVE A MARVELOUS CHRISTMAS AND A SHININ NEW YEAR
undefined ~ Supposed to be Smiley waving a Towel.
Timeloyd Rich GALACTIC PICNIC INFRO. AND GALACTIC ORDER OF TOWELERS GalacticPicnic@RespectThePlanet.comMSN MESSENGER Buddy List ~ Timeloyd@webtv.net Taimm@webtv.net [_-_}+
http://community.webtv.net/Taimloyd/FORAGINGTHEEDIBLE http://community.webtv.net/Taimloyd/SMUDGINGCEREMONY HAVE A FANTASTIC AND MARVELOUSLY SHININ YEAR REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS DNA4FR IS [o__} : : : :
http://community.webtv.net/Timeloyd/GALACTICHITCHHIKER REMEMBER WHERE YOUR TOWEL IS DNA4FR
