Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.”

The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked.

The judge replied, “They’re people just like you – your equals.”

“Forget it,” said the defendant. “I don’t want to be tried by a bunch of thieves.”

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."

"That's very nice, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself."

And, last but not least...

A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the table.

He then faced judge and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth that hard."

To be sung to the Hokey Pokey song.

You have to dot those i's.
You've got to cross those t's.
You have to seem so wise.
You must justify those fees.
And if you're smart and lucky
You will turn your case around.
That's what the law's about.

You have to file those claims.
You've got to sue those stiffs.
You have to shift the blame,
With no ands or buts or ifs.
And if you're bright and plucky
You will turn your case around.
That's what the law's about.

You've got to prep those briefs
And make them long and dense,
And prove your clients' beefs,
Even if they make no sense.
Be sure to play your cards right,
And a winner you'll be found.
That's what the law's about.

You have to seem real smart,
As if you know it all.
Recite Fed Code by heart.
Always make good judgment calls.
And if you do your homework,
Your opponents will be trounced.
That's what the law's about.

Must keep that meter on.
And never turn it off.
Yes even in the john,
Or they'll think you're going soft.
Your client might just pay you,
If a winner he is crowned.
That's what the law's about.

So keep that Lexis near,
Right on your 'puter screen.
And soon you'll have no peer.
What a genius you will seem!
And if you're most convincing,
Your opponents you will pound.
That's what the law's about.

Go tell the judge you're right.
Show where and why and how.
And be prepared to fight.
Let them never see you cowed.
And if you argue sharply,
Other lawyers will be wowed.
That's what the law's about.

You've got to win, win, win,
With logic, brains, and clout.
To lose is such a sin.
Let there never be a doubt.
In deals and litigation
You must rub the en'my out.
That's what the law's about.

Doing the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about after all!

I told you that would happen if you over-did the Advil!

The Universe

PS Notice there are no smiley's in the process of moving anybody but there is one for the day after:

Or the day after that too as I can now prove today. .

Now don't get me wrong here, I can move, and I can usually do so without a problem or much soreness the day after. But this move in particular involved a lot of steps to climb down of, and up on, back and forth and back and forth, along with a long pathway that had, you guessed it, more steps (7 sets of them). The house was upa pretty talk hill and well way too many steps for my legs. plus, there was no shortcuts I couldn't decided to take too many boxes at a time because the steps weren't all that strong so too much weight would have been dangerous on those steps and the pathways.

As a result, the soreness is in my legs, no where else. but that was expected. lol. Of course, when they asked for my help, not a damn soul made any mention of those steps. lol.

I should be good by tomorrow, if not, I'll just cut my legs off...simple as that. ROFLMAO