To a child of ten who had to wear an enormous neck and head brace as a result of some hideous spinal disease: "Hey! You look just like Buzz Lightyear!"
And the other day Sean Rowley mentioned some "female" singing duo of the 70s and said it was actually believed they were men, to which a gobsmacked Madeley replied: "I fancied them! And now you tell me they were ladyboys."
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During a discussion about someone who found a handbag with 40 grand in it and handed it in to police: "I wouldn't have done that. I'd have kept the lot and said nothing."
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He is amazing. It's like he has some form of interviwer tourettes. He'll look at a piece they do and then hone in on the thing that everyone os thinkig but would never mention and then just goes right on and says it in the most blasse way possible. It's not usually insightful, it's usually something childish, like the fat bloke who couldn't wipe his bum. He is a genius.
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"To Jade Goody: "You're quite sharp. It's just that in the pure sense of the word, you're ignorant." "
That's excellent
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bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
bloodninja: Its cool Stone Cold she was a bitch anyway
bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset
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having watched a clip of a man struggling horribly with his stutter, Madeley turned to him and enthused: "You looked as if your head was going to come off!"
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This is the ultimate Madeley classic: "Frankly, I don't think that what we see on television is erotic enough. I haven't seen a sex scene on television recently that has remotely turned me on. And I've been there till 4am waiting for it."
He IS Alan Partridge.
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"5 Stone? Wow that's concentration camp thin that is"
Interviewing a man and a woman with dwarfism about 2 years ago.They had just come from Parliament, where they'd been protesting about the discrimination against little people and how the only jobs they could get were in panto and the like. Richard responded with............'So you're protesting about this discrimination now. You must have had it up to here,' and put his fingertips to his forehead.
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The programme also featured more recent moments of note. This included an item in 2004 on Richard and Judy about the merits of piss drinking (or Urine Therapy as they opted to call it). This time Richard took the lead with Judy intermittently yelping in horror as 'Urine Therapist' Jim Crawford outlined the benefits of the yellow stuff sat in a glass on the table. "But its got germs!" Judy wailed, "No it hasn't" admonished piss doctor to the by now near-hysterical Judy as he proceeded to glug down a full glass of his own piss to a fascinated Madeley.
Judy: Oh My GOD
Richard: How would you describe the flavour?
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"I remember a time when they were doing one of their medical pieces about 'Women's problems' (with the creepy doctor who likes to say 'menstruation' alot).
Anyway, Richard interrupted the discussion with something along the lines of 'Yes, Judy - remember when you had thrush? You had a terrible time of it'.
The look on Judy's face was as priceless as is Richard himself."
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I'm putting the sensual back into non-consensual.
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Richard Madeley's sister was my English literature teacher at school, she was perhaps more crackers than Richard himself. I remember her reading Piggy's accent from lord of the flies with sporadic oinks
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Was it on here that someone claimed a friend had been sacked from their job in an off licence because Madeley came in and the guy shouted out "Oi I've got my eye on you Madeley"?? Classic.
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To a girl with an eating disorder: "when you were younger did you have a brother or sister who used to steal food off you, you know like dogs do and that's why they wolf their food down?"
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"I live near Richard and Judy. Since they moved in I have never even seen Judy - but Richard is always out and about beaming at the world. He always seems to do the shopping and I've even seen him bring it home on his bike! I've often seen him in Waitrose or M & S in Temple Fortune where he has told check-out girls (more than once and with a giggle) that the booze he is buying is 'for Judy'. "
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Richard: How old are you now? 18?
Nicholas Hoult: No I'm 17
R: Really, I thought you were 18
N: Nope
R: But you're nearly 18 though, aren't you?
N: Actually I've just turned 17
R: Oh, oh right...well I suppose I'll have to take your word for it.
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they live near my old man in Cornwall, I dont think he has ever spoken to them, but if he did, the conversation would prbably be richard being as offensive as he could, without meaning to.
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bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
bloodninja: Its cool Stone Cold she was a bitch anyway
bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset
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There was one on-air anecdote about the time he dreamt he was in the cupboard under the stairs - a story that he concluded, triumphantly, with "And I WAS in the cupboard under the stairs. Right at the back with the wellies!"
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Anyone hear what he just said to that woman?....she usually works on the show as a camera woman...but she was out showing her invention on the show. He said "she is usually here everyday...but without all the slap on"
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"That particular octopus committed suicide, didn't he? He stabbed himself with his own beak."
that ones actually true though, an Octopus stabbed himself to death with his own beak - remember reading it in the paper a few years back. Octopusses are super intelligent, and this one had been moved to a different zoo, where it wasnt recieving so much attention. Its believed it became depressed and killed itself.
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"Oh jesus! This is worth ten minutes of anyone's time. Look out for when he taps the awards on his microphone, PURE Partridge...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MB0JhRfr48"
That is wonderful
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bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
bloodninja: Its cool Stone Cold she was a bitch anyway
bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset
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Richard Madeley, one half of Richard and Judy, foul mouthed Ricky Gervais during Channel 4s filming of the British Book Awards to be shown tonight. It might be remembered that the Richard and Judy Show is at the centre of a phone votes scam in which the callers had no chance of winning.
Ricky Gervais did not appear live at the Awards ceremony, but appeared instead via a TV link. He quipped, "This is voted for by the public, isn't it? Well, tell them to stop voting now cos otherwise it will be another phone con".
Richard Madeley who was hosting the Awards ceremony with his wife Judy, told Gervais to "Fuck off" and branded him an "ungrateful fucking bastard".
I don't suppose that this episode will survive the cutting room floor and be shown on Channel 4. Still, I would suspect that there is something in Madeley's contract against him behaving in such a manner.
My interest in this story is twofold. The Friday Project who is to publish my autobiography is up for an award in the show, and they have sent me a draft contract which I will look over in greater detail over the weekend
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bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
bloodninja: Its cool Stone Cold she was a bitch anyway
bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset
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