I hate it. We're amalgamating with another office.

Swindon?

HOLY MACKEREL

.org Isnt a blog site, nobody cares

No. Its not the Swindon office.

But my Boss did say some David Brent things today. But the dichotomy of the whole thing is driving me mad.

I keep getting told to do two things different things. Its not possible. I wanted to scream...

I got into an argument with the "other" people, and tomorrow I have to go sit in their office and "learn from them", whilst at the same time still keeping my office going too.

Is anyone else's office like that?

The worst job i ever had was in an office when i was 18/19 :(

Up at and out house by 645am...work from 830am till 530pm but wasnt home again till 730pm...

Home, tea, tv shower bed...do it all again...

weekends too depressed and broke to do anything as i took a measily £530 home per month after deductions...that was 9 years ago but still it was shit money....

I dont know why i stayed for the 8 months as long as i did :(

It is correctly labelled work, no work no tea.

Do you run yuor office kagre or are you getting drawn into irellevant stuff to fill that void?

I don't get paid to, but I usually do find myself being the one who has to just because I'm the only one who isn't to stressed to come to work.

I've been in my job for far too long. I've been in this town for far too long. I never belonged here anyway.

I'm thinking of either moving North to Glasgow or South to Newcastle but I can't be bothered finding a new job and a new flat.

That answered it.

There's tons of office jobs in Glasgow, but we don't tolerate fake internet characters round here.

I wish my office was fake.

So basically your getting stressed about stuff that is none of your business, because you fill that void with things that is none of your business, in order to appear to have a business. Vicarious, almost. Choose life, your own life.

Hows the book?

Yeah. That's about what's happening.

But I'm still loving my book. I finished the first draft a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm editing. I love editing. I have to be careful though because I edited the last book too much and lost the plot.

Good. Go back to it, maaybe it reads differently. You might have trimmed it into a better book for others, if not yourself.

quit then.

your job can't be that bad, and you can't hate it that much or want to quit that badly if you "can't be bothered" to find a new job and flat.

when it gets bad enough, you'll just do that. people move every day.

www.myspace.com/kcamosy

I'm a bit scared to. I'm frightened of the unknown. What if the place I move to is worse than what I've already got?

well, again it seems like your current situation isn't all that bad after all. or maybe we just deal with our problems differently.

if it's as bad as you say, make a decision to improve your situation. as i said in the other thread, if you're unhappy, you can't just blame your job, your boss, this other office. just like how when you become an adult, you have to stop blaming your problems on your parents and how they fucked up in raising you. you need to take responsibility to make your life the way you want it to be. that's a big part of being an adult, and it's fun when you realize you have control over your life and happiness, and life should really get better as you get older. when you're a teenager you don't know who you are, you have all these people to answer to, you have very little control over your own life. not so anymore, so USE IT. independence is taken, not given, so don't wait around for somebody to tell you to just get up and move.

courage isn't about not being afraid. it's about knowing all the things that could go wrong, having those fears, but doing it anyway. if it's worse where you move, you know what? you'll move again. nothing is finite, you won't suddenly die because you made a mistake in moving somewhere that you end up not liking. it's all part of the narrative. you're allowed to make mistakes.

what doesn't take courage is doing nothing because of fear and just continuing on the same path and complaining about it like you're a victim. after all, despair is the path of least resistance.

plus, if you want to know a secret, that old saying is true: fortune favors the bold.


(damn there are a lot of platitudes in this post!)

www.myspace.com/kcamosy

That was amazing. Wow.

haha sorry i didn't mean to get preachy there. this is what i tell myself too when i think i'm stuck in a corner.

www.myspace.com/kcamosy

That was inspiring. I was struck by the line "Despair is the path of least resistance". I'd never thought about it that way before, but your completely right.

well then, let me know when you make the big move. ;)

www.myspace.com/kcamosy

'courage isn't about not being afraid. it's about knowing all the things that could go wrong, having those fears, but doing it anyway.'

Wizard of Oz, I conclude!

haha is it? i've not seen it since i was young.

they're all old ideas though. are there even any new ideas?

www.myspace.com/kcamosy

there are no new ways to understand the world
only new days to set our understandings against.


(Two lines remembered from a poem by David Berman)

Try and get hold of a book called 'undoing yourself with energized meditations and other methods'. Its not what you think, it might turn out to be a waste of time but theres always time to waste.