This is our last stand you pathetic specimens. You've all been raised on artificial ingredients, lumpy chips and fizzy drinks for too long
Switch off the internet, it wont help you in this war, lard arses
Then assemble into the following groups and your appointed task according to the first letter of your first name
TEAM 1 (A-F): Barbed wire fences across the coast of the UK
TEAM 2 (G-M): Man the anti-aircraft stations
TEAM 3 (N-S): Take to the boats/ ships
TEAM 4 (T-Z): Code-breaking and espionage
Assemble at your designated area today by 17:33 hours. Those failing to attend will be shot.
I have headaches and voices
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