First things first, im not the kind of guy who enjoys visiting titty bars but I was on a business trip with a few colleagues and since we were away from our other halfs it felt like a fun idea.

There was loads of girls, maybe 20, and as we stood and watched the continual pole dances others would prowl the floor and proposition guys. One by one, my colleagues to-and-fro'd to private booths but me being me I knew I wouldn't be buying myself any dances because I never find the girls attractive and the illusion doesnt fool me.

However this one girl approached me who was perfect and looked like my ideal dream woman. Petite brunette, cracking body, tight arse, pretty face. She whispered the old routine in my ear but I told her no thanks, and let her go with a few compliments which were well delivered - (eg i cant, i have a girlfriend, however youre exaclty my type and very tempting). She seemed to like the way i talked to her and thanked me for being polite and complimentary.

A few beers later the sight of my colleagues treating themselves to more private dances with 1, 2 or 3 girls began to get the better of me and I felt like i was missing out.
So I approached the brunette and asked her quite nicely if she'd dance for me.

It was absolutely wicked. She was stunning and her routine was amazing and very filthy. Everytime she finished i took the chance to get as much chat in as possible before id whip out another £20 at the last second to ask for more time with her. The more we chatted then the less dirty her routine was and it became passionate instead.
I thought it was in love, it was really bizarre.

Then about £100 later she suddenly flipped when I reached into my wallet again. She said "oh my god, im sorry. I cant. I actually like you too much. This isnt right, im really sorry. I dont want to dance for you anymore". She was genuinely a little bit upset. We parted ways as I explained to her that she had me hook, line and sinker and that I was genuinely willing to part with hundreds. She left me with a few compliments and the consolation of chatting to her at the bar later but I felt weirded out so I went back to my hotel.

The days since that Ive felt empty in my stomach and I couldnt work out if I was feeling guilty or heart broken.

Wow

Be a man and fuck her.

You paid over £100 to see some titties?

LOL you sad cunt, no wonder you're feeling empty.

^^
HA!
no he paid hundred quid to flirt with a stripper.

So he didn't even get to see titties?!

Good grief!!

I earn a fair wedge so £100 is not a lot to me

There was plenty of free tits on stage but the £20 got me an added minge bonus plus other seedy aspects of the routine

But for £100 you should at least be allowed to put your cock in the minge.

Did you not even get to touch it?

sorry but

HAHAHAHA

Nope. A 'no hands' policy, just like most other respectable strip joints.

Although she was allowed to touch me but that doesnt amount to much. Nothing much more than some agressive ass-rubbing on your lap, tits on your face etc

Did you ave a bouncer next to you so you didn't get handsy

____________________________________________

Aggresive ass-rubbing on face might've sealed the deal.

hahaha you were mugged mate.

Agrressive ass rubbing on the face would have only sealed a brown nose

There were no bouncers in view, although there are cameras for security. You get some right scum at these pleases and some guys were getting chucked out. I must have been a saint.

funny how it wasnt til you'd handed over 100 quid that she decided she 'couldnt dance with you anymore'

^
just about to say that.

no offence but there's every chance that she got bored of your conversation and sought business elsewhere

what city was it in vagrant ?

I had a great connection with a brazilian stripper a few years back. These girls are still human remember and people meet and are attracted to each other in all sorts of places. Even strip joints. Anyone with any emotional intelligence should be able to tell when someone genuinely likes you as opposed to "genuinely" liking you because youre buying there products/services etc. Certain things you can only feel if someone is experiencing something themselves so i dont doubt you had some sort of genuine connection mate

^^^^

These girls dont care where they get there money from. They will dance for anyone that is paying.

If she was only interested in his cash shed have rinsed him for everything he had on him and got him to get swiping his cards as well.

She pushed him away when he was putting his hand in his pockets for more dances so what are you on about ?

Anyone who thinks that any stripper they have paid for fancies them is a fucking mug

I'm sure it has happened before and will happen again. As someone has already said, they are human.

take it she never gave any cash back?

also, is having some hot girl wave her tits in your face all it takes to 'fall in love' these days? you say you had a long conversation, but what the hell do you talk to someone about while you're stuffing 20's into their thong

this thread is fucking hilarious. well done chaps.

people probably 'fall in love with her' every night she works and its more than likely some of them become a pain in the arse. i'd say it was more defence mechanism on her part.

www.myspace.com/muzzzz

www.myspace.com/arterysheffield

www.dangerouslyclose.co.uk

Sounds like true love to me. You should ask her out on a date.

I think she'd rather I was some absolute cunt rather than a decent bloke hence why her guilt crept in.

Guys have a natural instinct to protect women, especially vulnerable fit ones. I felt like Richard Gere from Pretty Woman. I was well money, on the night.

You think you were Richard Gere from Pretty Woman, she thought you were Barry George from Crimewatch.

Sorry you had to find out like this etc.

Your score: 5

Stripperrs can't fall in love because their hearts are too twisted up into the shape of bank accounts

And any other womans (or mans..better get that in there) isnt Rhb ? Is a female lawyer earning too much and too cynical to fall in love etc etc.

This thread could do a ton.

Yeah, you're right. Down with women!

Tbh she might have been a bit worried that you were going to rape her seeing as you were clearly very very keep and im pretty sure strippers get groped and shit all the time.

that look might of been love but it also might have been look dont hurt me just cause im the only female thats ever been nice to you.

"You're not even a scenester. You're a fucking milkman"

The only opttioin is to dump your girlfriend and declare your undying love to the whore. As Mark Twain said, it is better to regret the things you did do rather than the ones you didn't. or something


ps I am sorry about my typing but this computer has ridiculously tiny keys

Ahh the hooker with a heart of gold! Yes, she knew that you were different from all the rest.

as the £20 notes were flowing, did you at no point brief her about the conditions regarding the necessity of RULE 1 for such a story?

There's no way in the real world I'd even consider dating a stripper. It was merely a surreal whirlwind fantasy romance moment for me. She only liked me a bit because I'm a decent nice bloke and quite funny. She felt awkward when she got to know me better hence why the guilt crept in.

There are certain things that girls dont like doing with nice blokes like me. You see, im more the boy next door type, proper boyfriend material. However, I know for a fact that if a girl has a deep underlying perverse sexual fantasy that she'd like to fulfil then she'd never do it with a nice guy. Instead, she'd go for a one night stand with a bad boy (or two at once) because she'd feel less judged/guilty/ashamed afterwards.

"The boy next door is always a shoulder to cry on, but never a cock to hold"

"I'm a decent nice bloke and quite funny"


David Brent is that you?

I remember the very first time I went to a lapdancing joint. It was Spearmint Rhino in Brum for a mate's stag do. Pretty much all the girls were absolutely stunning. After a few beers, my brains were in my cock. All of these beautiful women were really friendly and chatty, and actually seemed interested in what I had to say. I felt like a sex god! Naively I thought I had a chance with every single one of them! One of them, who I had a couple of dances from, even offered me "VIP" treatment in a private room - £250 for her and a bottle of champagne! Of course I declined the offer as I'd already spunked £180. To this day I always wonder exactly what I would have got for my 250 quid, as I didn't think the big name joints offered "that sort of thing". I've since been many times on work and stag parties, and spend less and less each time.

My point is, its easy to get attached to a lapdancer if she is rubbing all her parts in your face, especially if you've had a few beers. They have a job to do and pretend they are interested in you to cream more money out of you. She probably got a little nervous because you were seemingly getting a bit too "attached". The fact is they keep the money they get off punters, so its in their own interests to give a good service. I doubt they expect an average bloke on an average night out to keep opening the wallet. If you're a Champagne Charlie type splashing it around like nobody's business they'd probably be happy to dance for you all night! Maybe you are, I don't know!

You should go back! If she's working again see what happens?!! Chances are she won't even remember who you are though!

are you saying your that much of a pussy girls feel bad even thinking about you sexually. Like how its werid to think about old people fucking. Their just all cute old and lovely. nice but you dont want to shag one.

"You're not even a scenester. You're a fucking milkman"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raisins_(South_Park)

anyone seen this episode of southpark?

I don't think you're a bad guy by any means, but I'm also not sure if spending a hundred quid on a stripper you're chatting up for fun, all while you have a girlfriend at home makes you such a terribly nice guy that no girl could possibly be filthy around you without feeling bad about herself.

Out of curiosity, why wouldn't you ever date a stripper?

Camozzi, sure im no angel but thats just my persona when i'm around girls.

And why wouldnt I ever date a stripper? Because a girl who gives men boners for a living cannot be trusted. Add onto that she's probably dumb and therefore has shit hobbies, it wouldnt last, couldnt introduce her to my family or friends, she'd be physically much more attractive than me etc

Haha okay fair enough. I enjoy a night of living in fantasy world as much as the next person.

I've been staying on a street full of strip clubs in San Francisco, but haven't been in any of them, as it's not my thing, and the girls seems a bit rough.

My pal Dara, an Irish guy i've made friends with went on his own to Larry Flynts Hustler club last tuesday as it was $2 a pint, and ended up fucking one of the strippers after.

Don't think he paid anything.

x

--------------=============-------------

www.myspace.com/thefreewheelintroubadour

Too seedy and surreal for me. I've been for mates birthdays but never hada dance and would never pay for a girls company.

I did once however split from my mates who were on their way home, made a deal with the stripclub bouncer that if i could impress him i'd get in for free so i made a match float above a playing card. Got in for free, got a lad to buy me a pint and chatted up the receptionist.

---------------------------------------


'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

^^^

andyabs' post above hit the nail on the head.

It was a spearmint rhinos I was at too but i wont say which one. They're social experts. Im just suprised she didnt milk me dry because I was helpless. That was the weirdest part.

you should definitely go back and see if she recognises you!

Vagrant, go back but tell her you're only there to ask if she'd like to meet up for a coffee. Treat her with respect and like a human and not a toy and you can't go wrong.

---------------------------------------


'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

"Vagrant, go back but tell her you're only there to ask if she'd like to meet up for a coffee. Treat her with respect and like a human and not a toy and you can't go wrong."

Nah my little fantasy is over. Its back to 'the good life' with my girlfriend, mortgage and job in the city.

"""And why wouldnt I ever date a stripper? Because a girl who gives men boners for a living cannot be trusted. Add onto that she's probably dumb and therefore has shit hobbies, it wouldnt last, couldnt introduce her to my family or friends, she'd be physically much more attractive than me etc"""


Ive known loads of girls who are/have been strippers. I had a girl mate years ago who got a job with spearmint rhino and through her i started sociallizing with them abit. Some ive also socialised with after meeting in a strip club after id picked up the bad habit of going into such places too often (I used to end up in these places quite abit on boozy nights out a few years ago when i had far more money than i do now). Some of these girls ive met i would without doutbt say are some of the most intelligent, honest and trustworthy women you could wish to meet. There is no bullshit. Others of course fit the stereotype and alot can get caught up in problems with extortion if they are foreign and of course drugs and alcohol. Ive never paid for "extras" but there are many girls who you can get them off. Of all those ive knocked about with ive only slept with one and shared kisses with another. They are certainly not easy unless your paying for extras with one of the bad uns if you put it that way and id have no problem if a girl i was seeing was doing this for a living and was happy doing so. Her job would be no reason for me to distrust her. Telling the truth to my nan what she did for a living would be a problem but that would be about it.

Ahh, shit, didn't realize you had a girlfriend.

---------------------------------------


'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

I actually knew someone back at uni who, all of a sudden, started working in a strip joint. She was a student too but she was a bit of man-eater. My knowledge of her before she took the job was that she seemed to be very insensitive when it came to guys feelings which is unusual because its usually guys who are the cold-hearted bastards.

Its true that most girls in these clubs are social and phsycoligcal experts to a degree. If your emotionally intillgent with some street sense and can keep your brain powering your dick though your fine in such places for the most part.

Tottenham court road id guess vagrent unless youd found yourslef out near slough. Theyre the only london ones.

The most pretty girls ive seen were in the london secrets clubs. Truelly amazing. From another universe let alone another planet. No munters to be found there.

The one and only time I've been to a strip club is with my the people I work with. it wasn't even nice, Just paying money for what any normal guy who's anything like normal/nice can get anyway.
Don't get it at all.

strip clubs are baffling


If I want an inconvenient erection I'll rub myself up at the bus stop next to the grannies and teenage mums. I'm not paying for the privilege.




---------------------------------
David Cameron is a silk stocking full of shit

They are good for a short visit at either the start/end of a night and can be good fun. You do get all sorts of characters in them from the nervous to the downright rapey.

However, staying too long is slightly depressing like wearing out the novelty. And the fact hundreds of pounds get spent.

£20 in Spearmint Rhino for a dance!? Fuck me, it is a tenner in "The Cave". A bargain when accompanied with Stella in plastic cups.

strip clubs are stupid, there's little enjoyment to be had from them. and theres people that go all the time too, strange lads.

I've always wondered, is it normal to walk around with a hard on in those places, or is it frowned upon?

Most of the punters are past the hard-on age.

---------------------------------------


'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

Maybe, If I was in there I'd be go proper Kevin and Perry.

You lot are a miserable bunch, strip clubs are a laugh when you go with a group of mates, yeah you spend a bit of money but it's a good experience and makes a change from going to the usual clubs. Obviously if you start going alone and in the day time you got problems but every once in a while with a few mates is fine, it's funny to see how your mates handle it. You can tell alot by how a man handles himself in a strip club.

Have you got a typology to assist your thesis foregone?

"You can tell alot by how a man handles himself in a strip club."

you get thrown out for that, in my experience.

-------------------------------------

TBC © Toppestchap Industries 2009.

I resent paying because i'm sure i'd stand a very good chance of pulling the girls in our strip club if they were in a pub or club.

---------------------------------------


'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

^^RULE 1

Exactly, once every few months for a couple of hours and if there is a group of you it can be a good laugh. I still laugh to this day remembering my mates dad getting thrown out for breaking the no touching rule - highly amusing.

'Have you got a typology to assist your thesis foregone?'

Unfortunately not but i do believe it.

And the 'handle yourself' pun was intended...

Im with you forgone...when youve got the money to throw away every now and then they can be a good laugh...the better places are always full of interesting characters and you can get tipsy and have a giggle. Ive been in groups with girl mates there as well and theyve not found it seedy at all. Depends what type of places you go in though. Essentially they are the same thing but the plush places are a different experience to the lower end joints. In fact i made a comment the other month on here about why the hell was a strip club opening up in my little home town. Ive no intention of ever going in there. If youve only been to the lower end joints they fit most stereotypes going. I know essentially they are the same thing but a visit into the expensive top end london clubs is different from going to the east end pole clubs and strip joints or some place in a smaller town/city. The new york titty bars are pretty crazy places too.

"You can tell alot by how a man handles himself in a strip club"

Yeah, you can - i.e. if he's inside a strip club he's probably a fucking tool



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