I work in a strip bar , i like it. Most guys are pretty decent and respect the rules, no touching etc.
A guy was in , usual type , away on a work trip , brow beaten at home and thinks hes the MAN when hes had a few.
He had a cheap suit and obviously was the poorest out of him and his friends , we wasnt paying for any dances either, bit of a tight fisted bloke.
Anyway, i was bored and my girlfriend was off with the flu and he had been staring at my boobs for ages so i asked him if he wanted a dance.
He agreed but then hit me with some conditions!
Firstly i had to call him sir, heard that one before.
Secondly he had an enlarged photo of his mum with an elastic band attached , i had to use it as a mask???
I went with that , i have heard worse but the next one was new to me and very disturbing.
He said i had to tell him over and over that it was ok and all Uncles did it and that it was our secret.
At this point i had had enough and got the prick thrown out, he was crying and everything.

What a dick.

Had "5" potential but the ending could have been better.

Disappointing actually.

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FRANCIS FRANCIS

Yeh, bit delayed. Mock threads are only effective minutes after the initial thread. You can't wake up the next day after a party and contribute your pun from a pun session the night before.

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'Free as a Bird' by The Beatles coming out of the Screw's transistor radio from the landing below.
"Turn it up Guv" I begged.
He turned it down.
"Whats that Doherty?"
"Can you turn the radio up please Guv".
"Listen to him, will ya, he thinks he at the Camden Palace, this is Scrubs mate".
"It's called Koko's now you fat northern cunt" I mutterred under my breath. -
"No" came a voice from the next cell "its definitely Scrubs".

Slag

was going well till the second half.

"You're not even a scenester. You're a fucking milkman"