Baru-baru ini saya telah dijemput untuk menghadiri satu bengkel yang bertajuk "anger management". Kandungannya amat menarik sekali dan saya ingin berkongsi sedikit dari maklumat yang saya perolehi dari bengkel tersebut. Selamat membaca dan harap dapat dimanfaatkan.
What is anger:
It is a feeling of great displeasure, hostility, hate, wrath which is a secondary emotion resulting from fear, hurt, frustration, or threat.
Sources of anger:
Being “problem” oriented
Irritants
Personal rights violation
Frustration & tension
Desires
Selfishness
Blocked goals
Self Justification
Injustice
Feeling alienated
Perceived threat.
Functions of Anger:
Protection from hurt
Redirection of energy to deal with problems
Distancing from tenderness and vulnerability
The real causes of anger:
Your own thoughts
Your own perceptions
Your own beliefs
They are originated from “you” not others.
Responses to anger:
Guilt and self rejection
Denial
Silence
Avoidance
Acting out.
How to manage anger:
Admit feelings
Accept environment
Differentiate between anger and reactions
Communicate anger assertively
Accept and understand feelings
Think ahead
Give and accept forgiveness
Understand your part.
Myths and False Beliefs about anger:
Anger is bad
It is always destructive
It is better to deny the anger
I have a right to be angry
I have no choice
I deserve to be treated better
What keeps people stuck in anger:
Unwillingness to deal with pain
Boundary issues
Vengeance
Blame Shifting
Believing forgiving is excusing
“God won’t do anything, so I must”
Other secondary gains
Causes of bitterness:
Mixing guilt with blame
Attempting to get revenge
Having “temporal” values ( as oppose to “eternal” values)
Taking up an offence
How to forgive:
Acknowledge the hurt/bitterness
Be honest – seek help
Identify unmet needs and desires
Identify false beliefs & unrealistic expectation
Look for your negative reactions and judgments
Decide to forgive (its a choice, don’t have to wait for the right time)
Seek restoration
Orient toward the future
Developing well-being (the way forward):
Acknowledge the unreliability of others
Acknowledge our own inadequateness
Set boundaries and act assertively
Resolve to develop a good attitude
Confess and ask forgiveness for our part
Admit it is okay for others to be angry.
Sekian terima kasih. Sorry tak cukup masa nak terjemah.
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