Oh, sure, blame me.

Just because I passed along the link and said that she could witness tragic amatuer attempts at comedy... wait, that DOES make it my fault. My bad.

Also, I'm not sure that the stuff Thief does would scare them... I mean, except for that whole cannibalistic necrophilia thing. And the all-too-frequent axillist chrematistophilia.

THIEF: Like you could resist... I mean, that hair just feels like silk. Mmm. So nice against my-
ME: LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU...
THIEF: Hey, great! Then you won't mind if I just go ahead and...
ME: AAAAHHHH! ...fuck. Somebody get me some salve and a bucket of moist toilettes.

-Chimera
And hey, I'm the one who invented the hammer-and-glass-rod thing!