http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnNews:Wolverine_hits_the_big_screen
THE STICKS, Kansas - Kansas farmer Zeke Smithers was "right upset" to discover that a wolverine had hit the big screen door on his house.
Smithers, 36, was "just sittin' around, reading some old comic-like books" when he heard a loud crash from the direction of his front porch. When he got outside, it was "dark and brutal," he said. A few minutes later, something hit the big screen and a wolverine started coming right at its no-longer-reading audience.
Smithers could only speculate as to the cause of the attack.
