When Soran heard someone approach, he dropped his hands from his face and looked up at Rowan. The elf’s voice pulled his attention away from the awful headache that continued to plague him. He listened quietly, smirking when Rowan admitted to wanting him just like he wanted any other pretty face. Hadn’t Jeremy warned him about that? How the hell was he supposed to know that the vindictive, otherworldly youth had actually dished out some sound advice?
“I certainly didn’t mean for you to develop feelings for me, or for me to do the same for you.”
Soran presumed the feelings Rowan spoke of on his end were the ones a teacher normally held for a student. He knew the elf cared about his well-being, but how could he commit to a relationship with him if his feelings didn’t go beyond that? It was awfully mean of Rowan to build up his hopes by making him believe he was someone special when all along he wasn’t anything more than just another pretty face. Already he could see Rowan laughing as he dug another notch into his bedpost.
“It’s not in my nature to be faithful, or so I always imagined. So the gods put a curse on me and gave me a weak heart, sari.”
It’s not in your nature to be faithful, and the gods put a curse on you, huh? Soran wanted to laugh at how easily Rowan put the blame on something else for his own infidelities. Maybe someday the elf would grow into a real man and accept responsibility for his foolish actions, but Soran didn’t see that happening any time soon.
“Every moment longer we spent together I knew I was falling more and more for you.”
Obviously, Rowan was a pro at bullshit. Soran now knew that the elf could never really lose his heart to anyone because he was already too in love with playing the field, and jumping from bed partner to bed partner.
“At the same time, I knew the time would come when I’d hurt you, just like I’ve hurt anyone else who’s become dear to me.”
Soran wasn’t about to argue with that because Rowan had hurt him deeply. He had no fucking right to build up his hopes by committing to a real relationship with him when he knew he wasn’t ready to devote himself to one person. Rowan had deluded him into believing he was different from his past conquests; that he mattered a hell of a lot more to him than any of those others did. If that were true, the elf would have been able to display some happiness and enthusiasm about the relationship they’d forged just last night. Instead, he spent the entire day acting like a caged animal eagerly searching for some means of escape. Well, he didn’t have to worry any longer because Soran had unlocked the door and set him free.
“I can’t make anyone truly happy, not even myself, no matter how hard I wish I could. I’m happiest when I have someone to love, but that never lasts, does it?”
Whose fault was that? The elf kept failing because he was too damned fickle. One minute he wanted someone to love and the next he wanted nothing at all to do with love. He claimed he wanted to try a relationship with him then practically ignored him. They’d hardly spoken at all since early this morning, and Soran sensed more and more tenseness building within Rowan throughout the day. How could Rowan say he was the happiest when he had someone to love when he certainly didn’t act like it? No doubt the elf would start smiling more again now that things were over between them. At least one of them would be ecstatic.
“You’re seventeen today, love. Still very young. It’ll pass, I promise. There will be others, especially for you.”
He watched Rowan walk away then drew his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. It’ll pass? So that’s it? Anger whipped through him when tears flooded his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry over an immature elf who didn’t give a shit about anything but carnal pleasure even though he’d never admit it. Why the hell did he have to go and fall in love with such an asshole? More importantly, how could he fall OUT of love with him?
But, what if Rowan really did want to try to change? Could I be judging him too harshly? The elf hadn’t cheated on him since they’d first slept together so that might mean there was a small ray of hope that a relationship between them could actually work if enough time and effort were put into it. Once Soran decided that they needed to discuss this further rather than end things so abruptly, he ran after Rowan. As soon as he saw the elf enter Darlanta’s cabin his shoulders slumped. I’m deluding myself again. There wasn’t any ray of hope. Already Rowan was off trying to make a new conquest. I’m just a distant memory to him now.
He tore his eyes away from the cabin and looked towards the stream when he heard Cas call out for him to join them in the water. His gaze shifted to Jeremy then, and he envisioned the youth laughing at him while saying, I told you so. When Cas called out to him again, he shook his head then retrieved a bottle of wine from one of the saddlebags before heading back into the forest where he could sulk in private for a while. He didn’t want his sullen mood to put a damper on the fun the others where having frolicking around in the stream.
Once he popped the cork on the bottle he stared at it for a moment. “Have birthday to me,” he whispered, before throwing his head back and talking a long drink. The only thing that kept him from jumping on Demon and heading back to Bizmar right now was Cas because they were a team. His blood brother needed him around to watch his back while he was busy keeping Eremis safe.
He sipped more wine, wiped his mouth in a sleeve then proceeded to berate himself for falling victim to Rowan’s charm. Why did he ever let the elf make love to him? How did someone he initially viewed as a pervert manage to weasel his way into his heart? Silently he vowed never to make the same mistake again. Being on his own might be lonely at times, but it was a lot better than having to deal with the heartbreak he had to content with now. “Fuck relationships,” he muttered, before lifting the bottle to his lips again.
*******
Shortly after submerging himself in the water of the stream, Jeremy was joined by Cas and Eremis. He glanced at the pair then turned his eyes to the others that remained on land. “Come on in, the water’s warm,” he said, smiling at Xue, Alex, and Kato. At that moment he caught sight of the frustrated look that crossed Soran’s face before he stormed off into the forest. Rowan hesitated briefly then ran after the youth. Apparently, trouble was brewing between the elf and the whore. Jeremy grinned. That didn’t take too long. His grin widened when Rowan returned to the clearing several minutes later without Soran, and immediately entered the druidess’ home.
He splashed around in the water while Cas and Eremis shared a kiss nearby. When Soran ignored the demon boy’s call to join them, and took off alone into forest with a wine bottle in his hand, Jeremy wanted to jump for joy. I bet Rowan finally dumped his ass! With the blonde out of the way, it’d be a lot easier to get closer to the elf again. He looked forward to sharing a candy bar with Rowan before they spent the night together like they did in the days before Soran entered their lives.
“Water fight!” he shouted enthusiastically, splashing everyone near him. Jeremy couldn’t contain his happiness. Soran got what he deserved for latching onto the elf. Now he knew how it felt to be tossed aside like yesterday’s garbage. Maybe if he’s lucky, Belald will treat him better, He laughed aloud then continued the water fight in earnest.
