I know that woman at the shelter warned you about beagles, claiming they bark a ton, but I own a beagle (and know several others) that don't bark much at all. In fact, one of my friend's beagle practically never barks - she taught it not to. If you teach them not to bark when they're puppies, then it should be cool. Like every time it barks, repeatedly tell them, "NO." I think the dog would eventually get the idea.
If not a beagle, I say you should at least go with a hound of some sort. What about a basset hound? They're lazy as hell and don't bark. I've always thought a basset hound would make a great apartment dog because they don't cause a lot of ruckus, they're quiet, and they're perfect for the person who doesn't want to go running/walking/exercising every two seconds. If you're as lazy as you claim to be, I think a basset hound would be a perfect fit.
i've actually heard quite the opposite, including someone who said that they are used in animal testing because they are so quiet. but as said above, any dog can be trained not to bark.