K needs to learn empathy and learn manners. his mother needs to get a clue.
this also has happened to my boy with the immediate neighbours (4' between homes so really hard to miss a party held in the yard). they had invited the other neighbour kids but not mine so when i realized there was a party and spotted the other kids, i quickly packed us up for a day out. but then ds was much younger and nobody rubbed it in. since then, the neighbours have had parties and if ds isn't included, it's obvious a school-chum party and easier to understand from his point point of view.
Since that first party, I've asked the neighbour to tell me when the party will be so that I can get DS away for the day. This comes up in casual conversation and isn't awkward at all, as unbelievable as that sounds. It's generally the older child's party we want to avoid hearing/seeing since she tends to have have only school-friend parties which is totally understandable, she is about 4yrs older BUT plays really well with the street friends so it can also be confusing for DS that she is having a party and not invite her street friends.
I think you handled it very well, telling him of your experience is really valuable and helped him feel less lonely too i bet.
if he feels the need to talk more about it, you can sympathize with him and say something like: yes, that hurt your feelings and K shouldn't have talked to you about who was coming to his party but we all make mistakes and lets try not to make the one K did. and we have to try to forgive him just like we hope people will forgive us if we make a mistake.
This came in handy when it was time to make up the party list for DS' party, remembering how he felt left out helped him make hard decisions.
Parties are tricky. Trickier than I'd ever imagined they'd be.
sigh. I know exactly how your inner mother-bear is feeling so I'm sending you a BIG hug.
julie
me:40, DH 41
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03 (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007
(after just under 3 years of ttc)
DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
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