Well, probably not. For one thing, this school is 30% transfer students who are coming from schools that have discipline issues. When we xferred in, we were told that we could be forced to xfer back if we didn't toe the line as parents. What the principal at that time (now retired) actually said was something like this:
"I like having xfer students. Their parents have to be nicer and more cooperative, because they know their kids can be sent back to the schools where they're zoned to attend."
(You have to imagine an older man saying this in a cordial tone, b/c he didn't articulate it as a threat, just a fact.)
The teacher made this suggestion sometime around week 1 or 2, and from the principal's reaction, it sounds like it was very unusual to suggest it at all.
This school is highly desirable. They turn away xfer applicants for lack of space. Parents buy 2nd homes in this zone or leave more affordable homes in other zones to get into this school.
Last night I also learned that the other AAP math teacher has issues. I need to talk to a mom with a child in that class. She's sick, though, and I need to be careful about disturbing her.
DS's option now is to stay in this AAP class or move to one of the two grade-level classes. He would leave behind his bf if he did that. The grade-level teachers are super nice, but ds doesn't like those kids. I'll really have to weigh this carefully. If he keeps not understanding, then we'll go for the move.
I talked to my sister the other night. I had a hard time at first understanding how to implement her suggestion. She said to tell ds that if he wants to stay in this class, he has to do xyz (stop complaining, stop getting detentions, get better grades). I can sort of see that, but honestly, I think he'll just shut us out rather than reveal what's going on. He hasn't been telling me about the teasing and bullying that has continued in afterschool, and I think if I give him an ultimatum about math, he'll just stuff it all down rather than actually resolve his problems.
Pd, thanks so much for your helpful feedback. I know you have some very demanding and serious issues with your family, too. I hope things are progressing as you wish them to.
Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg
Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc
ttc since 1998