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family and pregnancy frustration (Pg, adoption, death ment)

November 29 2011 at 2:17 PM
Stephanie  (Login smorseburg)
*HFP Mommies*

Hi Everyone,
I am a long time lurker, seldom poster but needed some virtual support today from the only group of women I think would understand where I am coming from.
I found out a few months ago that my 21 year old cousin's girlfriend is pregnant. My cousin has yet to complete high school, has a recreational drug use issue, and has no job. His girlfriend lost a 5 month pregnancy about two years ago due to a genetic disorder. There are currently some issues with the pregnancy but I am not sure what they are, I have kind of zoned out on this one because it hurts too much to see that they are so easily able to get pregnant and have not been responsible with regard to how they are going to raise this child or even working with a doctor to find out the chances of having another child with the same genetic issues that the previous child had during pregnancy.
I have never been able to get pregnant but have been BLESSED with a happy, healthy, little girl through adoption. i would love to give her a sibling but not sure that is going to be in the cards for us due to many reasons.
In 2005, my brother was killed in Iraq so I am now an only child. I just found out this weekend that my cousin and his girlfriend are going to name their new baby after my brother. While I am honored that they are honoring him this way, I am devastated that they are not only able to get pregnant but that they are going to be able to use my brother's name. I always said, my first son would be named after my brother (he died before we learned of my high fsh). We did name my daughter after him in a girl version of the name but I don't feel like it is the same. This cousin is much younger than I am and never had a strong relationship with my brother. I know that any way you look at it, my brother is being honored but this just feels like one more blow to my fertility journey.
Thank you for letting me vent. No one in my family really understands, they will listen but at the same time don't really get the reason that it bothers me so much.

 
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