Sorry to be so MIA but I do come to read the posts and you are all in my thoughts.
I am going to contact a lawyer about how this separation from my husband will mean to me, to my assets, to our assets.
Any questions I should be asking?
Our financial life isn't very complicated BUT my name is on the title of my father's house (to facilitate things when the time comes, when my father passes away) so now I am all worried that "d"H can claim half of the house as a marital asset. --he has said he won't touch the house but I need to know from a legal stand point because legal stuff doesn't take into account emotional stuff. besides, what if "d"H takes up with a woman who knows that the house can be split and SHE wants half and talks him into this. (at this point my imagination is covering everything--I really don't think hubby will do this to us, to me)
He hasn't actually left or actively started looking for a place to stay but is determined to leave. I think I made it clear enough to him that I don;t want him to leave and now it's up to him to decide; which he has.
I am rather sad about htis but 7 collective years of infertility has taught me how to gather up my courage and look ahead at some plan. Besides, I am wonderfully blessed to have wonderful friends in my life. It's times like these that one really realizes these things, isn't it??
The kids don't know yet. We'll tell them closer to when he leaves the house. We see the couples therapist on Friday for some guidance in that or a referral to someone who can guide us and the children in this.
Our two kids are so happy, so confident and I really dread the day when this will be shaken a bit but I know they are strong and they know for sure, for damn sure, that their parents love them and really, that is what matters the most.
hubby and I are friendly to each other, it's hard for us both because I don't want him to leave and I feel he doesn't want to either but to find happiness he needs to. He has said plainly "he loves me but not enough" and looking back (isn't hindsight 20/20??) he is right. I see that now. But there are ups and downs in marriages, which is why the vows say for better or for worse (with worse not being "out of bread so we have to eat cereal for breaky" lol) but if the depth of love isn't there...
I was going to ask the lawyer about the title of the house and the joint accounts I have with my father. My name is on these things to help my father but if it means hubby can claim half.... I will see if my sister's name can be put on them or another sibling.
Or is this the kind of thing that can be agreed upon between spouses so I won't have to change anything?? Or do these things only become untouchable once a divorce is final?
Not knowing anything about lawyers, can any lawyer help or should it be a specialized lawyer?
Thanks you guys.
me:43, DH 44
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.