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so sorry Cy

May 18 2012 at 2:59 PM
jkl  (Login JKL41903)
*HFP Mommies*

Response to At Kat's suggestion, please comment (m)


I agree that counseling could be a help, I know how you feel because the thought of discussing marriage details with a third party would be extremely exhausting for me.

I was wondering whether your dh is behaving this way because he doesn't feel he has a lot of power in the marriage. ie, you make the decisions etc.

I say this because this is an issue in my marriage and in dealing with the children. He feels like I make all the decisions and he just has to follow them. If you have a less verbal dh this may come out in other ways, sometimes more childish ways. I think as women, and you sound like a smart confident woman, we think we always know best (and I think we mostly do, but this is probably not always good for the dynamics of a marriage).

So what could be helpful is to back dh sometimes, even when you think it is the wrong decision. It is hard, but I think it is better for your ds to see you guys on the same page than to be right. I see how this could be hard when ds is being disrespectful, but maybe if you backed your dh up in other important ways he will back you up in this way better.

My dh and I have a lot of discussions at night, I try not to questions his methods in front of our dd. But I do try to check myself, and let some things go and ask his opinions, get his feedback and i think it improves things overall.

Anyway, I may be way off base here but I thought I would throw it out there.


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