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Uugggggghhhhhhh! In-laws! Can't win for losing! (ranting)

July 22 2012 at 8:20 AM

keiki's makuahine  (Premier Login goldiescholar)
Forum Owner

 
We thought it would save money, wear & tear, and time to start our vacation immediately after visiting dh's family instead of flying home and then flying back out.

(steam rising from my head now)

Maybe I should re-think the vacation plans I was starting for next summer, b/c that one also was going to follow a visit to ILs.

She's so rigid. She insists on keeping all the shades down in the daytime to keep the house cool. I don't know her house as well as she does and I can't see in the dark, so I have to turn on lights. Burning lights heats up the house, too. Duh! Can't she just keep the AC lower for the one week of the year that we're visiting, instead of living like mushrooms?

There is very little for ds to do at the house and mil interferes when we try to plan activities for ds. She complains that if she buys him toys or games, he outgrows them. But they complain if we take him out for activities, too. And we invited one of his three only same-age cousins to go out. IL's resent his spending time with his cousins, too. Poor kid is growing up without siblings and has only 3 cousins close in age. All live across the country. One he sees only once every 2-3 years. Geez. And this is not the inevitable result of older parenting, b/c he only has 6 cousins born in the 80s, all also very far away. The two families just didn't have a lot of kids.

DM's meal planning is so aggravating. First of all, I don't expect her to cook so much for us, and it's not very good food, so why not let us help more? She's such a control freak about this, though. What we eat, when we eat. And even though ds is only 10 and is used to eating at regular times (i.e., he doesn't eat dinner at 9 pm!), mil serves late and protests and fusses when I try to give ds something earlier. Or she'll have nothing planned at all, but she won't warn us or have appropriate food for ds available, and then she'll go on about how she only eats 2x day. Fine. DS can't do that, and he won't eat her nasty left-overs.

But last night when I served the blueberry pie that I bought for the family, she admitted she had just eaten a banana.

!!! She can spoil a planned meal or dessert by snacking, but not my 10yo ds????

I think I'm most frustrated b/c my in-laws are aware that I'm having a great deal of back pain. They're aware we're about to go west for vacation. They're aware that our means are limited and this is a big deal for us.

They still expect me to contribute to household chores and do the things I can't do: lifting and bending.

And dh won't say anything to them. He's 53yo and he's still scared of them.

My only choice until we leave Tuesday is to hide in the back during meal prep and clean-up.

Today we're going to a museum. Both mil and fil need to use wheelchairs in that environment and dh, ds and I agree that they're not likely to do this. They complain and moan about the pain, but there is nothing to do at the house, so we either sit here and do nothing and suffer boredom, or we go out. Poor ds.

They're not very bright ppl, and they're very touchy, so they can't see how illogical their reasoning is.

I think next year, we'll limit the visit to 3 days. I'm sorry ds isn't getting more time with them, but they won't go 2 hours out of their way to visit us when they drive south to their winter home.

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 51, dh 52
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998

 
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