"he said it was too painful to go"
Hold me back JM, just hold me back girl, before I make a Jerry Springer moment out of him.
"we can't get a divorce until a year has gone by unless the cheating spouse signs an affidavit to his actions requiring a speedy divorce."
This is like back home where if you are a witness to a crime and are called to testify, you have to physically touch the person and swear that they are the person you saw comitting the crime. Like, really? I wonder how many people ever came forward to testify. Talk about justice "BC".
Shiver me whiskers (said like Kwazii from the octonauts). I'm liking the last part of your post. Seems like I have to work on a trip out to your parts of town. I can't wait to hear more about this.