I can't decide if I should contact THE husband of THAT woman, to let him know that H has separated from me and may very well contact HER.
The thing is--and why I can't decide--is that we four used to be friends. Then last August all that changed when I found out about HER and H.
I've chatted with her hubby, casually since then, since we are friends and our kids go to the same school. Soccer season (2 months of it, not long), he and I would bring our kids to the park to the games--so that THEY couldn't have contact. get this, both our youngest were on the same team. Same class at school too AND in Sept too.
I consider him a friend, not a hanging out-friend but we are friendly.
If his wife left him and he didn't tell me, I'd be fuming.
BUT if I tell him and H asks me if I have (which he hasn't yet, which surprises me, frankly. I ask him every few days if he's contacted her yet. To which he says no and when I ask if he will he says he doesn't know which means YES--I mean how could he not?? It's his feelings for her that is making him want to leave and by contrast making him feel like he doesn't love me "enough". grrrrr)
In Feb, when he first pulled this and I let HER hubby know that his life may change soon because H was leaving me and I don't know if he'll be contacting her etc, when H found out, he emailed her to let her know he was leaving me and told her how he felt it unfair that her hubby knew and she didn't. WELL she still hasn't contacted him from that time which surprises me but then, if she leaves her husband, things get complicated kid-wise and money-wise; she'd have to get a job.
so you see why I am having trouble deciding? If I tell him, H will use that an a reason to contact her. If I don't email him and he finds out the hard way by her traipsing off with H, well, I'll feel like a jerk.
what would you do? (sometimes I have trouble trusting my judgement--I hope it's a symptom of this upheaval. Tell me that one day I won't be so insecure) lol
me:43, DH 44
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.