only b/c, for some reason, I feel so strongly about this.
Why is this man, who was also an innocent victim, not owed a simple, true fact that might help him protect himself & his family? I disagree this lowers Julie to their level. Saying, "Richard, I just wanted to let you know that Doug & I have separated," reduces Julie somehow? I so disagree. Now going further than that, getting into details, blaming Richard's wife, etc. Yes, that is unnecessary & not taking the high road, but I disagree that a simple statement somehow lowers Julie. Julie & Richard are the victims. Why is the other victim not owed a bit of neutral, true information that could really protect him? I guess I don't get it. Wouldn't we all want that info. in his shoes? I sure as heck would & Julie stated she would be furious if "Richard" didn't tip her off in the same situation.
He knows about the affair, so Julie wouldn't be the one saying, "Hey, guess what?"
This issue comes up a lot on the subject of affairs (to say something or not) & while situations vary greatly, but there can be complicity in silence. JMHO, of course.
Hugs to you, Julie. I can't imagine how hard this is. It's time for him to be gone, at which point reality may hit him like a bucket of cold water.