When i was a kid, my mom had a dear friend with two boys. The first was the picture of "perfect," the second was off the wall, always being sent home from school, etc, etc. Well, my mom (who worked with SPED teachers and was always into alternative approaches) had heard Feingold talk and introduced her to his diet/book, etc.
Her boy totally did a 180 degree turnaround. And, she could tell in an instant when he had eaten something he shouldn't. It was a ton of work for her (homemade bread, really no processed foods, all at home from scratch), but somehow she found the will and way and it made all the difference.
It really was an amazing story. If you decide to give it a try, I would love to hear how it goes--both if you see any behavior changes and also how, if at all, you are able to manage it. You have so much on your plate...At the same time, maybe this would take some of the troubles off your plate...
me:smc (single mom by choice)
Dd: Conceived when I was 42 after 2 years ttc. Conceived on 6th IVF cycle after 2 bfn's and 3 m/cs.