God is fake?
-Absolutely. There is no God, no heaven or hell. It’s all just as crazy as it sounds. No kiddin’.
But those wackos who read the Bible aloud on street corners, can they be wrong?
-Believe it or not they are! Those people need “God” to get through the day. He gives them reason to live. Without Him they have no purpose. It’s really kinda sad.
Hey, I once accidentally invited God into my heart. Am I f***ed?
-Oh, you’re fine. He ain’t there. Just get it out of your head that there’s a more important life after this one. Enjoy this life and don’t let it slip by without having done something you can be proud of. And learn from this! You’ll find that the answers are usually pretty obvious. Just use common sense. It beats faith any day.
Hey, what about Satan? He’s real, right?
-No! He doesn’t exist either. There doesn’t have to be a “Satan” for people to do bad things. Take full responsibility for your actions you deadbeat! You people take the cake! Christ!
Then what’s the point? I mean, I might as well just go kill myself then right?
-Yes. I mean,
NO! There are still things worth living for, like people for instance! Friends, family, loved ones, YOURSELF! All that **** matters more than “God” and don’t let anybody tell you different! It devalues you and makes it seem like there’s something more important than the human race, and there ain’t, you stupid self -hating ingrates!
Friend...
-If you are in need of more answers or feel alone and want someone there who will always care for you and love you ... then join the f***in’ club. You’re a grown adult for God’s sake! Grow up and deal with it like the rest of us do. Tomorrow’s another day! Goin’ through **** is how you learn stuff. Christ! I thought this was common knowledge! What the f***?
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Is God real?
-Gee, lemme think... um, NO!
C’mon, are you serious?
-Yeah, He’s in heaven, loves each and everyone of us and we’re all gonna live forever and EVER! Oh, and I bet we all even have guardian angels to fend off evil demons... and the vampires too! Puh-leeeze!
Wait! The idea of “no God” scares me. It kinda makes me feel lonely and sad. What about that?
-Hmm, that’s a tough one. Oh, I know! Boo-f***ing-hoo? An imaginary friend in the sky helps you feel less lonely? Did you ever think maybe that kind of sh*t plays games with your head? I mean, do what ya gotta do, but I suggest instead going to friends, family... or a therapist for God’s sake!
Golly, I had no idea there were legitimate answers for things. Why does the Bible lie to me?
-Have you seen the cavemen who wrote the Bible? They actually believed that sh*t! It was 2000 years ago and they were 2000 years stupider than we are now! Illogical superstitious lunatics!
Friend... Is God REAL?! But what about rainbows? Aren’t those a promise from God that He’ll never flood the earth again, like He did once in olden times... with Noah?
- Stop it. I assure you, there’s nothing more fake than God. The only reason you’re hooked on the idea of “God” is because you’re gullible and scared. The answers to life are pretty obvious. If you think things through you’ll see there’s a lot more to be gained using common sense, not faith. Everybody knows that. I realize rainbows seem like proof, but did you know that scientists can actually explain rainbows beyond “miracles from God?” Not only that, but science explains a great many things. It’s a little more complicated, but there’s a lot more to be learned about life from a scientific explanation than there is from the Bible’s... ya lazy bum.
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