The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody, and still nobody likes him.
- Jim Samuels

Americans always try to do the right thing after they've tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
- Charlie King

America would be a nice place to live if Americans didn't live there.
- Anonymous

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
- Oscar Wilde

Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years.
- Carl Sandburg

Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the Big Macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.
- Dennis Miller

The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
- Wilfred Sheed



America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
- Arnold Toynbee

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- Bobcat Goldthwaite

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
- Charles Luckman

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
- King Edward VIII

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- Laurence J. Peter

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the risk he takes.
- Adlai Stevenson

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.
- Mark Twain

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
- George Bernard Shaw

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
- Dan Rather

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman

Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humor, vivacity, or the capacity for enjoyment.
- Charles Dickens

America is the only nation in history which has miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
- Georges Clemenceau

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the great American public.
- HL Mencken

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's a PhD in Hamburger Technology.
- Clive James

The prostitute is the only honest woman left in America.
- Ty-Grace Atkinson

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
- WC Fields

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.
- General PH Sheridan

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
- Anonymous

When good Americans die, they go to Paris. When bad Americans die, they go to America.
- Oscar Wilde

California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen

It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
- Mark Twain

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.
- Miles Kingston

American is a very difficult language mixed with English.
- Anonymous

America knows nothing of food, love, or art.
- Isadora Duncan

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
- George Bernard Shaw

I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.
- Samuel Johnson

America is one long expectoration.
- Oscar Wilde

The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent, and so forth.
- Rudyard Kipling

When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanized.
- Andre Maurois

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
- G. K. Chesterton

No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
- Paul Gallico

Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its inhabitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they will become aliens to this country.
- George III, English King

The organization of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate notoriously unenlightened, misled by a mass media notoriously phony.
- Paul Goodman

Sir, they are a race of convicts and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
- Samuel Johnson

Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
- L. L. Levinson

There won't be any revolution in America ... the people are too clean. They spend all their time changing their shirts and washing themselves. You can't feel fierce and revolutionary in a bathroom.
Eric Linklater

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.
- Charles Luckman

The national dish of America is menus.
- Robert Robinson

Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid program for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
- S. A. Rudin

New York is a city of 7,000,000 so decadent that when I leave it I never dare look back lest I turn into salt and the conductor throw me over his left shoulder for good luck.
- Frank Sullivan

I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
- Charles-Maurice Talleyrand-Perigord

America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
- Hunter S. Thompson

America is a mistake, a giant mistake.
- Sigmund Freud

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
- Arnold Toynbee

Speaking of New York as a traveler I have two faults to find with it. In the first place there is nothing to see; and in the second place there is no mode of getting about to see anything.
- Anthony Trollope

America ... where laws and customs alike are based on the dreams of spinsters.
- Bertrand Russell

The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
- Walt Whitman

In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors.
- Bertrand Russell



Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
- J. Bartlett Brebner

The hatred Americans have for their own government is pathological ... at one level it is simply thwarted greed: since our religion is making a buck, giving a part of that buck to any government is an act against nature.
- Gore Vidal

It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.
- Oscar Wilde

Question: If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United States, why do you live here?
Mencken: Why do men go to zoos?
- H. L. Mencken

The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
- P. J. O'Rourke

In America the President rules for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.
- Oscar Wilde

I heard an Englishman, who had been long resident in America, declare that in following, in meeting, or in overtaking, in the street, on the road, or in the field, at the theatre, the coffee-house, or at home, he had never overheard Americans conversing without the word DOLLAR being pronounced between them. Such unity of purpose ... can ... be found nowhere else, except... in an ant's nest.
- Frances Trollope

When good Americans die, they go to Paris; when bad Americans die, they go to America.
- Oscar Wilde

America is a land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy - and won't even cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughan

The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.
- Walt Whitman

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
- Will Rogers

We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
-Will Rogers

What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.
- Margot Asquith

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
- Will Rogers

I pledge impertinence to the flag-waving of the un-indicted co-conspirators of America and the Republicans for which I can't stand one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible with liberty and justice forget it!
- Bongo's Pledge, Huge Book of Hell

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Against Anything Un-American, and to the Republicans for which it stands, two nations, under Jesus, rich against poor, with curtailed liberty and justice for all*
*Except blacks, homosexuals, women who want abortions, Communists, welfare queens, tree-huggers, femi-nazis, illegal immigrants, children of illegal immigrants, and you if you don't watch your step.
- Anonymous

Americans stick their noses where they don't belong more than Simone DeBergeraque going down.
- Dennis Miller


http://www.insultmonger.com/national/america.htm

All those quotes and all those people are the real problem with America it's people like you who give our nation a bad name. So Anti-American that you've driven your point so hard some perfectly good citizens become arrogant and are tired of listening to your mindless dribble. A little bit of advice would be to keep your mouth shut (get out of the country if your in it) and jump off a bridge. The world would be a lot better if there weren't so many pesimests bringing down every nations full potential. As for France and the stupid Paris, I can say at least American bathe everyday and the women shave their legs, A Parisian woman is nothing to look at because you could find a woman in america 100 times better looking than her. The French are a stupid race of people that haven't had a good leader since Napolean. France only fueled Saddam's dictatorship by loaning him money and are now afraid they won't get it back.
Another piece of advice get off this discussion board cause u just disgust me

When are the so-called "conservative" americans going to admit that their country is as ill off as any other country in the world? Far more than 50 per cent of the americans are braindead whining socialist parasites, not matter how much the "conservatives" bluntly deny this and try to fake the impression that America is a conservative country.

Man , i totally agree with you .

Your right 50% of the country is mindless idiots, but the ones with no brains(the drones) are the liberals(the socialists)

@adam french girl are the most beautiful women in the world, right after the italian ones.
i guess its hard to find an american girls under 150kg, due to burger king and mcdonalds. but maybe you like them?

Sorry, the drones are not the Socialists. The Borg automatons are the capitalists who mindlessly set out to assimilate anything and everything they get their hands on. Even if they have to rape the environment, stomp the poor people beneath them, hoard their money, and build, build, build.
At least we Socialists can work independently in a collective. The automaton drones of capitalism have one agenda: to function according to the will of the state, and to assimilate others as they were assimilated.
Actually if you apply the percentages in the OP, you'll find the Socialists are presently a minority, so the so called "scum" has to be someone else, ey?

There is no such thing as global warming, rape the enviorment, no such thing!

no, the ice on the poles is just melting because it's so much fun to do so.

what are these quotes doing ? a bunch of quotes that intelligent people wrote are not a picture of the us.
Please stop writing thing like this, they make no sense.
And how can anyone think there is no such thing as global warming ? If you have a good scientific arugment , I would be more than happy to hear it.

Lilly

Just remember you will never get brutally tortured or beheaded for saying every mean thing you just said about America. If you said unneccessarily mean things about America and you came here from a different country....what the hell? If you have always lived here...you don't know how good you have it.

@rightgirl your statement is ridiculous.
what about all the torture in abu greib and guantanamo bay? most of the prisoners didn't even said any thing about america. america just claims they're evil taliban, al qaida- members or whatever comes to their minds. they're just being held there WITHOUT PROOFS, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT AND WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY TO SPEAK TO THEIR PARENTS OR LAWYERS! and some of them died there. perhaps because they said "mean things"?
and you still wonder why some people hate america?

Boy that was the worst comparison i have ever heard. They are prisoners of WAR, not US citizens their rights are limeted, they fired at americans, thus giving us every reason to hold them.

Everybody want to take shots at the US about torture, its humiliation, and not a BEHEADING, or anything horribly bad. Every other country does it to, but since the US is a superpower they find everything they can to poke at us to make thimselves feel better about there country.

so what? there's no proof they fired at americans. most of them didn't. did you hear about the story of the afghan taxi driver? he was held in guantanamo for several months just because some afghan needed the 5000$ bounty and claimed he was a member of al-qaida.
after several months of torture, abuse and living in a 1.5m*1.5m cage, americans came to the conclusion that he was absolutely INNONCENT! they never allowed him to speak to his family, to any lawyer and didn't even judge him!
so tell me again this treatment was right.
usa always claims to be a state under the domination of law.
no european (except the britains) would even think of such a treatment. the treatment of your prisoners is a shame for your nation.

oh and even if they're prisoners of war, they're under the protection of the genevan convention. your country neglected this convention.

and i bet your country never breaks any international laws?
So what those f u c k e r s deserved it!
And the treatment is probbaly not that bad just humilation, a days feeding, so what.

>>>and i bet your country never breaks any international laws?
during the last 60 years? it supported american troops in afghanistan and broke some trade agreements regarding the subventions of agricultural products. but that's not the point. the nazis did genocide millions. so do you think it should be allowed from now on? there are people slaughtering and raping other humans. should that be allowed? your argument is nonsense.

>>>So what those f u c k e r s deserved it!
again: us troops did and still do hold INNONCENT people there. some of them are free now, so they can tell about the treatment. they were held in the so-called prisons (better say: concentration camps) for months, were tortured and abused there, they had no chance to defend themselves or speak to anybody but the guards.
you're just revealing a fascist manner. "some people looking like this guy attacked us. so let's rape and torture him. i don't care if he's innoncent or not"
this kind of thinking lead to the genocide to the jews back in the 40's. think before you act. and remember what happened in the past.

>>>And the treatment is probbaly not that bad just humilation, a days feeding, so what.
ok, it's not that bad to:
-live in a 1,5m*1,5m cage for MONTHS
-have 15 minutes free time PER WEEK
-being tortured, raped and abused (ms. england, anyone?)
-being beat down by the us troops (some of the prisoners died in the camps due to this)
-stay naked for weeks

these things are FACT. i just have german links to proof my statement and you probably wont be able to read them but i'll look out for english ones.

i hope the us troops will send you to guantanamo some day so you'll be able to feel "just a bit humilation". watch out, better not grow a beard or something arabic..

david rose: "america's war on human rights"
http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article-3-77-2110.jsp

yeah, i know, everything not fitting into your view of the world must be lies made by communists, nazis, terrorists, weasels, girlieman, hippies and so on..
but please read it.

the nazis did genocide millions. so do you think it should be allowed from now on?

your twisting my words,and what i meant, you are using a horrible analegy, about nazis and there persicution of jews who did nothing wrong, and never harmed their contry.

These people are enemy combatants, not innocent people these people are threats to the world. You seem to want just pick at America and find everything you can that is wrong, yeah we have some problems, no more that your country does i can tell you that for sure. All countries have their problems, but since we are always in the world spotlight we get all of our problems picked at , and it makes us look like a horrible country.
Look i dont trust German links about America, that like sending me to a French link about America being so bad, it holds no grounds of truth. We have a few ppl in the military who do these things and a few bad squade leader or whatever who know about it, they need to go, but your genralizing our country, government, and military that is wrong and can not stand.

-----------your twisting my words,and what i meant, you are using a horrible analegy, about nazis and there persicution of jews who did nothing wrong, and never harmed their contry.

These people are enemy combatants, not innocent people these people are threats to the world.----------
how can you know? they neither had anything like a judgement, nor they were allowed to defend themselves.
and, as i mentioned before, there were innoncent people in guantanamo bay and abu ghraib who were left free after months because the americans noticed it. so how can you say the other people there aren't innoncent, too?

---You seem to want just pick at America and find everything you can that is wrong, yeah we have some problems, no more that your country does i can tell you that for sure. All countries have their problems, but since we are always in the world spotlight we get all of our problems picked at , and it makes us look like a horrible country.---------
my country doesn't abuse and torture prisoners. and it does no so-called "preemptive strikes" which follow the same doctrine like the "blitzkrieg"-idea.
what makes your country looking horrible is the dismissing of international laws and institutes like the un, the international court etc.

----------Look i dont trust German links about America, that like sending me to a French link about America being so bad, it holds no grounds of truth.------
the link i send you above is an international link.
oh, and don't make the mistake to think that the french hate you. they have just the same concerns about your policy as the rest of the world has.

------We have a few ppl in the military who do these things and a few bad squade leader or whatever who know about it, they need to go, but your genralizing our country, government, and military that is wrong and can not stand.---------
due to the reports i read, your military and government knew about it and tried to hide it.

a guy from your government said:
"they are illegal combattants and not under the protection of the genovan convention. they're not on american ground so they don't have the right to speak to an american court"
what the hell is this guy thinking? it's a clear disregard to the human rights which makes america not better than china, russia or saddam's iraq.

it looks like we found a loop-hole, dont like it? Tell someone to fix it.

the problem seems to me, that we've got different informations on this topic.

True