LETTER TO THE RED STATES OF AMERICA

Some very important things you should know:

BEFORE WE BEGIN:
1. Regarding the very rich people to whom you have opted to give more power:
You cannot revolt against the aristocracy by voting to cut their taxes and giving up your liberties to them.
Also: They mostly live in blue states and do not have to follow any of the rules you let their bought-and-sold politicians make. You

2. Regarding the terrifying cartoon A-rab peering at you from the shadows:
This is NOT real. It's a fairy tale designed to scare you into surrendering your money, your children, and your freedom. Ever see "The Music Man?" I believe that took place in a red state.
Al Qaeda is just a tiny handful of nuts that only got through to us because Bush was asleep at the switch. (On vacation, remember?)
Saddam never had a chance of getting to the US. He never had nukes and his chemical and bio-weapons were long gone.
In case you haven't figured it out, Bush knew all of this and lied.

3. 'Peak oil' is real. Babies born today will graduate from college in a world without enough oil to run our cars, factories, and power plants. Even conquering the whole Middle East and ripping the tundra to pieces won't help.
In case the relevance of this to the Bush presidency is lost on you, go to Google and poke around some.

4. Climate change is also real. The ground under Alaska is melting; bridges and buildings are collapsing. Search Google and read about it. Then decide how important gay marriage is.

5. Billy Graham and all the rest of the salvation peddlers are full of ****. You should be deeply ashamed of having fallen for it. Disentangle your mind from stupid stories about angels and devils and deal with the world. Your children will thank you for it because it will make you a more reasonable person.

6. Gay marriage really isn't the most acute threat facing our country. I know it sends you into a mad-dog rage to have to sit by and do nothing while those fellas dress up and play house, but leave it be for a spell and look at the larger picture here.

7. Even if you're against abortion, it wasn't a big enough issue to justify electing a man who also wants to bankrupt social security, privatize education (so that you can't afford it, see?), and drain the economy to support military adventures doomed to failure.

8. The opinions of the rest of the world matter because our economic and military success is based on trade, treaties and alliances. Of course the Europeans are grateful for American help during WW2, but they're grateful to Roosevelt and Truman, not the Bushes.
Come to think of it, George's grampa, Prescott Bush, did have some involvement in European affairs at the time. Haven't heard about it? Google again, folks.

9. You need to begin reading something other than 'USA Today' and 'Favorite Bible Stories for Severely Dull Children.'
A simple, cost-free beginning would be to go to Google and click 'news.' Information from across the globe will appear before your eyes. This may cause severe headaches in the beginning, so go slow at first, maybe just two hours a week.

10. As for that fraction of you who are beyond hope, still wearing white hoods, swastikas and chains of Viet Cong earlobes around your necks: **** you. I'm headed for the heartland right now to strangle you and your kinfolk.

Respectfully,

Mr. Blue

Yeah, you're "Mr. Blue", alright, especially since the election results. LOSER! But you just go ahead and continue to spout your self-delusional blather, LOSER.

Yes,your election strategies certainly resulted in a huge landslide for the blue states..(sarcasm).i have to ask,don't your stereotypes and propaganda get rather hackneyed the more you repeat them?One would certainly think so..but probably not-you sound like a CONVINCED kooky lib,so probably no hope of penetrating your thick skull with logic.A year ago,I moved from a blue state(Peoples republic of Washington) to a red state(Kentucky)-and I sure was'nt in Washington by choice-I was stationed there-and the best part of my time there was while I was deployed to Iraq and away from there...anyway,its a breath of fresh air being out of that cesspool-where police protect rioters,instead of shooting them,and the attorny generals' largest priority was arresting people for buying-uh-CIGARETTES....never mind the crackheads shooting up Seattle and Tacoma-nope,gotta go after people for buying a legal product....then there was the guy who went on the 6 O'clock news and APOLOGIZED for shooting the scumbag who kicked in his front door and jeapordized his safety-too bad the scumbag lived!Contrast that with here in Kentucky,where we had a rash of acts of vandalism against soldiers cars-the local police asked-"you guys are all military,correct?You're all ARMED correct?Well,them old boys hang out over THERE......"