Paper Part 11
Scarlett drifted between sleep and unconsciousness. She was barely aware of her surroundings, but she could sense that she was safe. Somehow she knew she was being comforted, cared for and watched over. She did not know by whom, but she felt such peace and security that she figured it had to be by someone who loved her dearly. It was such a wonderful sensation, almost intoxicating. Something she couldn't recall feeling in such a long time. Scarlett tried desperately to open her eyes, but the pain would return and send her back into the realm of darkness.
Her head reeled bombarded by shadowy images. They were not the disturbing visions she experienced earlier while laying on the cold wet street, these were comforting and reassuring. They became clearer, sharper -they were of Rhett.
Scarlett saw a collage of Rhett at different stages of their life together. She saw him standing at the base of the grand staircase at Twelve Oaks grinning wickedly up at her, bidding 150 dollars in gold at the charity bazaar just to dance with her, standing in the parlor of Aunt Pitty's house, riding his carriage through the panicked streets of Atlanta the day of Sherman's siege, guiding a horse and cart past the burning warehouse as the city began to collapse, Rhett carrying a wounded Ashley to his bed within the Wilkes' home. She saw him kneeling proposing marriage, mockingly confessing his love and unwavering affection. They were snapshots of every occasion in which Rhett had shown in his own way that he loved her; times when he would seek her out to ensure she was safe and happy. She realized now that Rhett had always loved her. These memories also depicted times when Scarlett was delighted and relieved to see him; moments when she felt protected and secure in his presence. It was Rhett, always Rhett that brought her the happy times she could remember during the war. She had forgotten how elated she felt upon seeing Rhett ride up on his chestnut mare in front of Aunt Pitty's. How intrigued and taken she was by him that day at the Twelve Oaks barbeque. Although it never occurred to her before now; it was never Ashley who made her feel this way.
Images of Rhett's eyes filled with pain swept into view; pain that she had caused with her jagged words. His words echoed in her head, "What a fool I am to think you may actually care for me." The memory of Audrey Elyson running after Rhett flashed across her mind. The thought that she had lost Rhett forever, finally succeeded in driving him away. The sickening feeling of utter despair and hopelessness jolted Scarlett back to consciousness.
She laid there gasping for air trying to steady her heart. Clarity filtered into Scarlett's brain, “Rhett doesn't think I love him. I need to tell him, I can't let him go without knowing I love him. I can't lose him, not now." Scarlett slowly opened her eyes. The room was dimly lit; the oil lamp on the bedside table cast an amber hue on the walls. She saw Rhett asleep in the chair next to the bed. He was unshaven, his hair unkempt and he was still dressed in the clothes he wore to the Brantley's ball. His face was pale, haunting black circles under his eyes. Scarlett had never seen Rhett look this way before. It was unsettling. She turned her head slightly, grimacing from the pain, towards the clock on the fireplace mantel. It was still early morning. She did not want to wake Rhett, but she needed to tell him she was sorry. More importantly she needed to tell him that she loved him, even if he didn't say in kind. She knew he loved her, no man would do for her what Rhett had done. No man has ever put himself in harm's way for her, gone to such lengths to protect her and to give her all she ever wanted. She was a fool for never realizing that their marriage was indeed based upon love, not friendship or any other irrelevant reason. Her hopes of them ever living a happy life together were quickly dashed when she remembered it was with Audrey Elyson that Rhett left with that night and not her. Scarlett turned her head away from Rhett, she couldn't look at him. The thought that he was with another woman made her stomach pitch.
Scarlett felt her hand being taken gently into Rhett's strong calloused one. She turned slowly towards him. "I'm afraid you caught me sleeping. I wanted to be awake when you came to." he spoke softly. Scarlett tried to smile. "How long have I been sleeping?" she asked. Rhett brushed away the loose strands of hair that had fallen on Scarlett's bandaged forehead, "Almost a full day. Dr. Thompson was here earlier. He said you'd be fine, you just need your rest."
Scarlett was relieved to know that Rhett was by her side, but how long had he been there? Judging by his appearance it seemed a while. She had no memory of how she got to her room. The last she recalled she had made it to the steps of the house, she remembered reaching out for something but then it all went blank.
"You gave me quite a scare, Scarlett. I thought I lost you for good." he said gently caressing her cheek. His words fell on deaf ears. Scarlett could not erase the image of Rhett with another woman, that woman; it disgusted her. She couldn't listen to his empty words. Her heart ached at the thought. Rhett continued, "I was sick with worry. I came home but you weren't here. I went back to the Brantley manor, but no one had seen you. The coachman said you never waited for your ride; that you left before he could return with the carriage."
Scarlett's eyes sparkled, "You came back for me?" she questioned. Rhett nodded, "Yes. I came back; well to apologize for my conduct, for abandoning you like I did. It was very, let's say "ungentle men like"." Scarlett squeezed Rhett's hand a small gesture to show that she understood why he did what he did and that she forgave him. She asked, afraid to know but she had to be certain, "So you didn't leave with Audrey Elyson?" Rhett looked at Scarlett, "Audrey Elyson? Now where did you get an idea like that?" Scarlett bit her bottom lip, "I saw her, and I saw her running towards you. I saw the two of you walk away from the manor together." Rhett sat back in the chair, everything about that night seemed to make sense now. "You saw Audrey running towards me while you waited for your carriage?" Rhett asked. Scarlett nodded her head slowly. "And you assumed that I went with her to spite you?" Rhett continued, "And it disturbed you to the point where you ran?" Again she nodded. "Well that would explain why her slippers were worn through." Rhett thought to himself.
Rhett moved from the chair and positioned himself carefully on the bed next to Scarlett. He took her hand again in his, staring intently into her green eyes, “Scarlett I can’t lie to you and say that’s not entirely true. Ms. Elyson did come after me after I left. It seems she heard us quarrel and she followed me. She saw this as an opportunity to rekindle an old flame; I’m afraid she feels a great deal for me. At one time she and I were on lets say “friendly terms”. She knew of my reputation with woman and thought I regarded you in the same manner as I have others in the past.” Scarlett looked away; she couldn’t bear to look at him. Rhett gently pulled Scarlett to meet his eyes, “Scarlett had you stayed you would have witnessed me turning away Ms. Elyson's "advances", shall we say." Rhett continued to speak, “My dear, when will you realize that I could never be with another woman besides you? You've been the only woman I could ever think about; ever imagine being with since the first day I laid eyes on you. I would never intentionally try to hurt you; and I would never do anything that would risk losing you." Scarlett's heart leapt within her tiny frame. Rhett took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I love you Scarlett. I'll probably curse myself for eternity having said it, but I've never loved anyone more than I do you." he spoke.
Scarlett couldn't believe her ears. He was confessing that he loved her. Hadn't that been what she always longed to hear? She yearned for the day when a man would profess his love to her, simply and purely. She had always envisioned that it would be Ashley, but Scarlett knew deep in her heart that it was Rhett she longed to hear speak those words. At once she felt totally free from the romantic childish notions of love for Ashley. Scarlett looked into Rhett's eyes and shook her head, "No Rhett, I'm to blame. I should have never said what I did. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean what I said, it isn't true. I don't regret marrying you Rhett. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been happier than when I am with you. I don't love Ashley, perhaps I never did." Scarlett paused, "It's you I love." she spoke with a smile. Rhett took Scarlett in his arms, kissing her deeply and passionately. Scarlett felt the intoxicating sensation of security and pure love return. It was at that moment that Scarlett knew Rhett was her true love. It was always Rhett.
Scarlett pulled away, “Rhett?" she said. Rhett replied in between kisses to her cheeks and lips, "Yes?" She paused to compose her thoughts, "I'm glad you didn't, well you know... with that woman. I couldn't bear to think of you with her." Rhett stopped kissing Scarlett and roared with laughter. Scarlett looked at him annoyingly, "Great Balls of Fire! What's so funny?" she asked. Rhett chuckled, "I knew you were jealous." Scarlett playfully beat her fist against Rhett's chest, "Oh you. Hush up!" She turned and laid her head back on the pillow, "You said Dr. Thompson told me to get my rest, well I suggest you do the same Rhett." She turned her head in Rhett's direction, "You don't look so well." Rhett laid alongside Scarlett pulling her gently to him. He whispered into her ear, "I bet Audrey Elyson wouldn't care how I looked." Rhett let out a raucous laugh. Scarlett's eye squinted, "You’re a cad, Rhett Butler. I have half a mind to get out of this bed and take you to her doorstep myself." Rhett's chest shook with hearty laughter. His laughter was so pure and infectious that Scarlett couldn't help but giggle. Rhett tightened his hold of Scarlett, kissing the top of her head. The couple quickly fell asleep linked in each other's arms, happy and content.
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