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10 YEAR OLD SON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS MAKING HIM ANGRY

May 15 2008 at 8:03 PM
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DANIELLE  (Login DALLEN4)

 
THIS PAST FEW WEEKS MY SON HAS REALLY GONE DOWN HILL. HIS ACADEMICS HIS BEHAVIOR HE HAS SAID HE NO LONGER WANTS TO BE HERE. I ASK WHAT IS MAKING YOU SO ANGRY AND HE SOBS "I DONT KNOW" EVERY ONE IS ON MY NERVES. I HATE EVERYONE.I HAVE SPOKEN TO THE TEACHER, COUNSELOR, PRINCIPAL. I AM AT MY BREAKING POINT. I AM BROKEN HEARTED BECAUSE I KNOW I CANT FIX THIS PROBLEM. HE IS ALWAYS FRUSTRATED AT SCHOOL, HE WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN GROUPS, AND IF HE DOES HE GETS MAD AND WALKS AWAY. HE IS NOT VIOLENT, BUT IM AFRAID THAT HE KNOWS HE IS NOT ABLE TO CONTROL HIMSELF. PLEASE HELP. DANIELLE

 
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Dr. Wilde
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Re: 10 YEAR OLD SON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS MAKING HIM ANGRY

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May 18 2008, 7:27 PM 

Danielle,

I do not know why your son has been having a rough time as of late but I also have a 10 year old and part of the problem may be that your son is just worn out and run down from the school year. My son, Jack, has had a great year but the amount of academic work he has to produce each day is exhausting. For some kids, it's hard to hold it together for the entire length of the school year.

If we get past the possible connect to "end of the year exhaustion," the reason your son is angry is because he's thinking demanding thoughts that produce anger. I know that sounds like a simple answer to a complicated problem but IT IS as simple as that. Your son cannot become angry unless he thinks demanding, anger producing thoughts. What's making your son angry? He is. And that is good news. If he's making himself angry, he can make himself calmer. He needs to understand that he CAN control himself. If you said to him, "If I offered you one million dollars, could you not be angry today?" I will guarantee you he'd control his anger. So, he can control his anger, he's just chosing not to right now OR he doesn't have the skills to control his anger.

My best advice (for whatever that's worth) is to look at the suggestions in the "Help for Kids" section of the website. That's a good starting place. If he tries that and gives it his best effort, I'm confident he'll be less angry.

Best of luck to you!

Jerry Wilde

 
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