I probably should have left this as a section in part 9, but I guess it's too late now.
With making the post longer, I've only posted about half the amount of times this go 'round. I think this was parts 17 and 18 during the first round. Geeez.
On with part 10
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Dee Dee cleared her head enough, so that she was able to tell Alex a few things that were on her mind.
“You knew full well, that I want to have children. You’ve known that since the very first week we met, when we talked about the things we dreamed of most. Were you never going to tell me?! Didn’t you ever think that if I didn’t get pregnant, that I’d consult with a doctor about it….about whether or not it was me, or my husband that couldn’t help produce a child?!”
Alex had answers to her questions.
“If I ever decided to have to have children, I’d have a vasectomy reversal.”
“Alex. How much about this reversal surgery do you know about?” Dee Dee asked as she wiped away her tears. “Who’s to say that the surgery will be a success? I’ve heard a little about it, and there’s not always a one hundred percent guarantee, that the reversal will allow reproduction.”
Alex rested his elbow on the mantle, as he prepared to reply to his wife.
“Let me ask you a question. Can you guarantee one hundred percent that you’d get pregnant? There are millions of women that never become pregnant, due to medical conditions on their part, or just the simple fact of it not being in the cards. You have to look at both ways Dee Dee.”
Dee Dee didn’t want to give Alex any more feeling of power over her, by agreeing with him. He was right. There’s nothing to say that she’d absolutely get pregnant, no matter what the circumstances were.
“When were you planning on having the surgery?”
“I don’t have any immediate plans to have it done. My career is taking off like a rocket, and having a bunch of babies screaming around the house, would only be obstacles for me.”
The words tore through Dee Dee like a bullet tears through a paper bag. Was Alex saying what she thought he was saying? The thoughts swirled like a tornadoes rage in her head, as she began to put more of the puzzle pieces together.
The fact of Alex wanting his office, in the room that would serve as a nursery, the lack of interest in birth control, the way he would change the subject when she’d mention having a baby.
The thoughts were dizzying for Dee Dee. She lowered her head into her hands, in an attempt to settle her mind. With her head still lowered, she began to speak; her voice cracking in between her sobbing.
“I can’t believe this….the lies, Alex. It’s just…just all about lying with you. I don’t see how we can stay married.”
She regained some composure, lifted her head and continued.
“I have to leave…now. I have to get out of here. There’s no way I stay in this relationship, when I don’t even know who I’m married to. I don’t have a clue as to how many other secrets you’re keeping from me.”
She stood up to retrieve her bag. She would make another attempt to leave the house, and stay at a motel.
“Alex. I thought we could have been happy together. I don’t understand why you found it necessary to hurt me so badly. I wish you’d never come back to California. You’re nothing but a lying, self-centered bastard, and I wish I’d never met you.”
As she walked towards the door, Alex grabbed her by her left arm.
“Let go, Alex. I’m leaving for good this time, and I want a divorce.”
Alex didn’t obey her command. Instead he tightened his grip on her arm.
“You’re not going anywhere. I’ve got a few more things to tell you, and you’re going to listen to every word.”
He tugged on her arm, and told her sit down. When she said no, he was more forceful, and practically pushed her to the sofa. Reluctantly; she sat down, rubbing the tender spot on her arm, which came from Alex’s grip.
Although the sore spot on her lower lip was nearly healed, from where he hit her, the forceful grip on her arm was an added example of Alex’s ability to inflict pain upon her.
Alex stood firm in the center of the room; hands resting in his pants pockets, as prepared to drop another pack of dynamite on his wife.
“Listen, Dee Dee. This whole marriage thing isn’t what I figured on either. It could have been something really special….something for a lifetime, but it isn’t. To tell you the truth, it’s more of a convenience for me, than anything else. I never wanted this. I wanted to continue living my life as a bachelor.”
Dee Dee wanted an explanation. “Then why the hell did come back, and ask me to marry you?!”
Alex continued to hold fast, as he let the next words easily escape his lips.
“This whole thing,… the marriage. It’s all a game.”
Dee Dee’s head jerked upward, in an effort to look straight into Alex’s eyes.
“What did you say? This marriage is a…a…game? Wha…what are…….?”
The words tumbled over Dee Dee’s tongue, as if they were clothes in a dryer.
Trying to comprehend the words being hurled at her; and hearing them come from her own husband, was a lot for her to take. She didn’t want Alex to repeat himself; not with the same harsh explanation, but she needed clarity.
She stood up and walked over to him, and planted herself directly in front of him; looked up into his eyes, as the tiny lines in her forehead became evident with her crinkled brow.
Alex never looked away. He kept his gaze directly on Dee Dee’s.
“What the hell do you mean; by saying our marriage is a game?! Why did say that?! Is this supposed to be funny?!”
Alex never looked away. He kept his gaze directly on Dee Dee.
She felt a wave of uncertainty rush through her body. She didn’t know what to expect from Alex next. He was full of surprises, and unfortunately none of them were welcomed surprises.
Less than five seconds later, the look on Alex’s face told her that he was serious. Dead serious.
“No. Oh, my….God. You really mean it, don’t you?”
Dee Dee’s heart skipped a beat, as the reality sank in. It was as if her life was slowly becoming a badly scripted soap opera.
The expression on Alex’s face remained unchanged. He was serious, and he meant every word of what he’d said.
“Yes. I really mean it. There’s no happily ever after Dee Dee. You don’t get to have your fairytale life.”
****
Dee Dee knew there was no such thing as a fairytale life; a life without jagged edges and disappointment, and Alex was definitely no Prince Charming. He was making that known loud and clear.
Feeling a slight weakness in her knees, Dee Dee sat on the edge of the coffee table.
“I don’t get to have my fairytale life? From where I’m standing, I never had a chance.”
Her words were interrupted by her sobbing, but she managed to continue.
“What are you getting out of this, Alex? What’s the game you’re playing? Why did you make the decision to use me like this?”
Alex would soon place more devastating news at her feet.
He stood proudly at the fireplace; arm resting on the mantle, as he proceeded to crush his wife’s heart into particles as fine as grains of sand.
“You know the saying,…. “You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep?”
Dee Dee didn’t acknowledge his statement, one way or the other. She only wanted to hear the reason or reasons, why he came back into her life; bringing grief and turmoil in the place of flowers and candy.
“I mentioned that I’ve been known to enjoy the company of women; basically for the benefit of sexual relationships, and nothing more. During my travels around the world, I met many fascinating women, and built quite the reputation for myself. This reputation was something that a lot of high brows in the medical and social cliques frowned upon.”
Dee Dee was beginning to figure out where she came into play, in this game known as the marriage of Dr. and Mrs. Alexander J. Turnan. The thoughts were piercing through her mind, and made her feel sick to her stomach. She took a few deep breaths, and prepared herself for the upcoming blow, as Alex continued.
“If I really wanted my career to shoot to the top, I needed to tone things down. I was told by a colleague, that the foundation wanted to project a more family oriented employee image, and my lifestyle just didn’t fit the mold.”
Dee Dee felt a tightening at the nape of her neck. She didn’t want Alex to continue the gory details, so she took it upon herself to beat him to the finish.
“You married me as a cover. You needed to clean up your act, and marrying me; someone without a sordid past, could play a more believable part as your wife. I was just what you needed.”
Although Dee Dee spoke the words herself, the sting wasn’t any less painful. The tears running down her cheeks seemed to be in a race, against chills running down her spine.
At the moment, she didn’t feel any more useful, than the used Kleenex she held in her hand. She had allowed herself to be used, and it was an awful feeling.
Alex offered sarcastic congratulations, on her success of putting the pieces together.
“I guess you still have some of your detective instincts. It only took you a little over a month to break the case. Maybe with a little help from your former partner, it would have taken half the time. You two always did work great together, didn’t you?. At least that’s what you’ve told me about a thousand times.”
Dee Dee ignored his snide remarks; as she made her way into the bathroom to blow her nose, and clear away the latest tears. She returned to the living room; taking a seat on the sofa, as she prepared to question Alex further about his scheme.
“What made you decide to choose me, other than the fact that I’m not a slut? Of all the women you know, there had to be at least one other fool in the bunch. Why, me?”
Alex made himself comfortable in the recliner.
“You were the easiest target, because you wanted to play house more than anyone else I’ve known. You always talked about giving up your career as a cop, and becoming a wife and mother. That was all you seemed to be interested in. It was like you were waving a red flag for attention.”
Dee Dee suddenly felt self-conscious, at the thought of rambling on about having a family. She wondered if she was on the verge of annoyance with the topic, and if Rick found her to be one to harp on the subject as well.
“All I had to do was to dangle the bait in front of you; wait about a millisecond for you latch on, and reel you in. It was as simple as that.”
Dee Dee could only lower her head. She felt so much disappointment within herself. She was ashamed of how she let her dream of the ideal life; serve as blinders against the malicious scheme she had been chosen for. She was beginning to see more of the dirt that Alex had so easily swept under the carpet, and she had more questions that she hope would soon be answered.
“The times we made love….”
Dee Dee hesitated; as she felt that “making love” was too mild of a description for what took place between them.
“You were having sex with me, the way you did with the others, weren’t you? That’s why you would be so rough with me; even after I told you I didn’t like it. These other women liked it, when you’d pin them down, didn’t they? They liked being forced down on the bed, or wherever you wanted them, didn’t they?”
The smug look on Alex’s face began the answer to her question. He followed up, with a statement.
“I thought you’d enjoy a little more mischief in the bedroom as well. I guess I thought wrong.”
Dee Dee lowered her head for a few seconds; allowing the words to sink in. As she raised her head slightly, she questioned Alex as to why he decided to tell her the truth.
“Why are you telling me all of this now? Have you decided to end the so-called marriage….go back to having your freedom; being with whomever you want?”
Seeing as how nothing else in the marriage was truthful, Dee Dee had to know if Alex was unfaithful. She figured it would be the most logical answer, to his late nights at work, and the sudden and frequent emergency staff meetings.
“Are you seeing someone else, Alex? Seeing as how I’m not your ideal woman, I can’t help but feel you have one…….maybe more than one woman that will give you what I’m not willing to.”
Alex wasn’t slow with his answer.
“As a matter of fact; there is someone, and she doesn’t expect anymore from me, than I offer.”
Dee Dee had already toyed with the idea of a separation, and possible divorce; do to the ill treatment she had received from Alex, and the feeble state of their marriage. The news of Alex being with another woman wasn’t a major surprise; but made her want to set things into motion even faster.
“I can’t believe this. You’re actually telling me that you’re sleeping with another woman, after you swore to be faithful to me. I know that people walk all over their wedding vows sometimes; by sneaking around, having an affair, but this is unreal. You’re just as blatant about it as can be.”
“Well, you asked. I just gave you what you wanted. Do you want to know her name….what she looks like?”
Dee Dee shook her head in disgust. “No. I don’t want to know.”
“I’ll tell you anyway. It’s Monica. Isn’t that a beautiful name?”
“Shut up, Alex.”
Alex knew he was upsetting his wife more, and more; and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He became relentless.
“Monica. A beautiful name;….for a beautiful woman. She’s a couple of inches taller than you are, dark hair like yours; a much shorter cut, dark eyes, and a killer body. Come to think of it, you two have at least those three things in common.
The taunting was almost too much for Dee Dee. She couldn’t understand why Alex found it necessary to hurt her so deeply.
“Alex! Just shut the hell up! I don’t give a damn about Monica!”
Alex wasn’t finished. He added more insult to injury. “You know what you two don’t have in common? It’s the sex. Monica really understands what I need, and most importantly……what I want. And believe me; she gives me everything I want.”
Dee Dee thought she’d throw up at any second. Alex was talking to her, like some men talk to each other about their latest sexual conquest. She was his wife; but was being treated with far less respect than she deserved. The look of repulsion on her face was evident and it satisfied Alex’s compulsive need to torture her.
“I’ll admit it; there’s no undying love, Dee Dee. I was never in love with you, and I don’t know that I would ever be in love with any woman.”
“I told you all of this, because I’m tired of your whining about the perfect family. I just thought it was time that I got some peace, from you’re planning the perfect little fantasy which would include me. I don’t want any part of it.”
Alex’s explanation was enough for his wife. She was more than willing, to spare him of any more of her so-called whining. She did have a question for him; one that would bring them back to the result of the pregnancy test.
“Speaking of family, have you ever thought that I could actually be pregnant with your baby? I mean; you were so sure to say that I couldn’t be pregnant because of your vasectomy. But how can you be sure that you’re not capable of producing a child? It has been proven, that some men have fathered children after the surgery. You of all people should know that, Dr. Turnan.”
Although Dee Dee knew her marriage with Alex was doomed, she might be responsible for another life. She would preferably like to have the child of the man that loved her, and didn’t repulse her; but if she were have a baby by Alex; she would love him or her unconditionally.
Alex’s response shouldn’t have surprised Dee Dee, but it did.
“If you were pregnant with my child; you’d get rid of it, and you’d do it fast. I told you, I don’t have time; nor do I want to make time for any babies.”
Dee Dee’s heart dropped as she heard her husband say he’d want her to get rid of their baby.
“You’re a horrible person! Alex, how could you have your own baby killed?!”
“Come off it, Dee Dee. You know full well it’s not killing a baby. At such an early stage, it’s basically getting rid of a bunch of cells, that haven’t even taken on any form as a human. Just a few minutes of vacuum aspiration, and a little scraping of the uterus; and like magic, you’re all done.”
Alex was truly beyond insensitive, and the words drove through Dee Dee; piercing her soul, like a speeding train crashing into a brick wall.
“Actually, Alex; you’re the one that’s not taken on any form as a human, and I don’t want to spend any more time with such a monster than I have to! You can have all the freedom you want! I won’t fight you during the divorce, and I won’t ask, or expect a single solitary penny from you. I’m ready to sign the papers right now! Call your lawyer so we can get this over with!”
Alex shook his head in disagreement. “Not so fast. I’m not calling this marriage off….yet.”
“And why is that?! You told me that you have someone else! Some slut that likes to play it rough and wild in the bedroom! What the hell do you need me for?! Everything I do is wrong! You complain about the food I cook, the way I cook it, the way I keep house, my paint supplies, my going out to a movie….the list continues! What do you want from me?!
As she pressed her fingertips against her temples; a failed attempt to ease the building headache, Dee Dee had no choice; but to be wary of Alex’s words. At the moment she clueless as to what was to come next, but she knew it wouldn’t be anything good.
The thing is; you can’t leave me, because it would put an end to the acceptable image I’ve built.”
Alex kept a calm tone to his voice; but to Dee Dee the words seemed to echo after being spoken through a megaphone. It was bad enough that Alex told her that he wasn’t in love with her; but for him to expect her to live up to his expectations, in such a garish deed was too much to bear.
“You’re saying I can’t leave you?! You bastard! You actually expect me to stay and keep up this game?! This is my life we’re talking about, Alex; and I’m not going to let you ruin anymore of it!”
As Dee Dee made her way to the door, Alex was quickly behind her; ready for her next move.
“I hate you Alex! I hope you burn in Hell!”
With a tone of mockery, Alex replied to her request. “No, now you don’t mean that. We’re a happily married couple, and we have to let everyone know it.”
Just as she turned the doorknob, Alex grabbed her by her right arm with a force strong enough spin her around to face him. He took her by the shoulders, pushing her petite body against the front door with a thud. As he held her with her back against the door; both fury and evil combined, becoming as similar as a gory Halloween mask over his face.
“You’re not leaving, Dee Dee!” Alex slowly brought his face to the level of Dee Dee’s face. “You’re not doing another damn thing unless I give you the fucking permission to do it! Do you hear me?!”
***