I'm afraid Mr Dargason you are not going to find this post very digestible. I was intending to wait until I saw some more postings on her from our regulars,but I must say that I find your last story such as to require re an immediate response from any educator. We are all aware that there is a close relationship between sexuality and corporal punishment, and that on occasion it may be difficult to separate the two. Doctor Dominum wrote a long time ago on here how following a couple of times he had to cane girls he felt well, ambiguous about it afterwards, which determined his decision not to continue doing that . In the Rebecca Redlands threads I expressed very clearly the psychiatric/psychological analysis from Neo Freudian perspective which demonstrate the clear sadistic pleasure taken by the staff concerned in these instances, and the unnecessary punishments handed out presumably to satisfy that lust. .
However being aware of ambiguity is very different from allowing those feelings to take control with the consequent effects of unnecessary and unacceptable severity in your punishments. Indeed you didn't punish instantly as an immediately to make a point but in this case you waited until you could obtain the maximum self pleasure for your little scenario.
I am not totally opposed to corporal punishment , although I believe with the advances in pedagogy today there is absolutely no need for an effective teacher to use corporal punishment . I myself would never use it either on a child of mine or in a modern classroom. Of course your experience was some time ago.
I tried to act very apologetic and understanding, inquiring about her nervousness and nodding reassuringly at her many, many apologies. She had never been paddled before and hadn't really been spanked since she was very young, so she was very scared. (She had actually thrown up in the bathroom the period before, she was so nervous.) "It's a shame your first time has to be such a bad one," I said. Something about this attractive girl trembling in fear really excited me. Finally the conversation came to a close and I said, "all right, stand up and face my desk."
If you knew of her nervousness you were acting in nothing but a planned and deliberately sadistic manner in imposing what you admit was a severe punishment on a girl who clearly was going to have great difficulty wit ANY paddling . This of course was nothing unusual to you
If you move again, it doesn't count and I'll have to do it over again," I warned. I placed the paddle against her shorts again and patted them lightly. I noticed she was tensed up. "Don't squeeze your muscles" I said. "It will just make it hurt more." (I have no idea if this is true, but I preferred the way the paddle felt striking natural flesh.) I pulled back and delivered another hard swat straight across the center of her cheeks. She let out a loud "Owwwww...", squirming and panting, but managed to stay in position.
The third swat was too much. She sank to the floor again, clutching her rear end and saying, "No, no, I can't take it... please... it hurts so bad..." Her voice was squeaky and choked through her tears. I got down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders comfortingly until she calmed down somewhat. "I'm sorry," I said, "but rules are rules. Are you ready to try again?"
She nodded and I helped her get to her feet.
If the first swat was too much , given the antecedents and your knowledge of the girl you should have stopped. Certainly to impose extra ( your own house rules, not even school policy as I read ) was unjustifiable by any measure.
"Would it be better if I put my hand on your back so you don't move?" I asked. "It will be over faster." She nodded again, so I placed my hand on the small of her back and lined up the redo swat. (Remembering the incident I'm not completely sure why I did this, and it sounds a little strange now, but it felt perfectly natural at the time.) The swat was just as hard as before, but she managed to hold her position bravely.
Three more to go. I decided to deliver them in quick succession; she was obviously in a lot of pain, and while I was thoroughly enjoying myself, I didn't want to drag out the punishment longer than was necessary. I aimed the last few swats a little lower than the first few, giving all of them a few seconds apart, with considerable force. And the paddling was over.
I offered the girl a tissue and talked reassuringly to her until she stopped crying. She said her butt still hurt "really bad," and I didn't doubt it. It probably took a good five or ten minutes before she was composed enough to collect her things and leave. I, for my part, was still walking on air.
A paddling such as that in my opinion is grossly unacceptable. Little more than a study in sadism. It was given mainly it appears for your self satisfaction. Very little if anything would be learned by that punishment , by this , from your own admission intelligent girl , except perhaps not to trust smiling men with big paddles. It was not imposed for the 'benefit' in any sense of the girl , who yes a had acted very stupidly , but completely out of character, it was imposed for your own self gratification. The girl was in 10th grade, just the time when modern psychology since the 60's had recognised the need for adolescents confidence in maintaining 'personal space' becomes of great importance. This is because of the increasing awareness of sexuality . As a teacher you will doubtless be aware of Millar's work on 'land's of hidden cruelty' where she demonstrates that the draw of corporal punishment for unbalanced teachers is the satisfaction of a desire to impose reflexive unquestioning obedience of a subject . It is the objectification of inadequacy in the teacher . It is the difficulty in separating the 'proper' use of cp and its use for personal gratification which , as I say , contains within it the seeds of its self destruction.
You knew the girl was frightened, indeed that turned you on . You knew she had never been spanked since being very young , and you appeared to know she had made herself physically sick in the restroom with worry in the moments before punishment. It should have been from your psychological training as a teacher obvious that either the punishment in the form you had settled upon should not proceed , or if it did to have an effect it only needed to be relatively mild. Instead you ramped the punishment up .
She had never been paddled before, and the swat I'd given her - while not brutal - was really very hard.) I'm ashamed to admit that I felt no sympathy for her, although I pretended to; I was enjoying every moment.
In my mind this is inexcusable and , as I say was done for no other reason than pure self gratification. The mother made a big mistake .Her complaint should have been to the Principal, and should have been accompanied by medical evidence. It my have done in those days little good but at least it would have marked your record. My action as a parent would have been at the very least to withdraw my daughter. If she ( the daughter) described anything like your dramatization , you had a clear cut case to answer.
Your little description here can justify almost everything written in what I don't consider a very well e written book -( Reading Writing and the hickory Stick- Irwin Hymen) . Hyman makes some good points , but in many ways over generalizes . However the existence of this type of self serving punishment by teachers is the very reason why academically he was able to get away with that.
Corporal punishment, paddling, is a sanction which lives on in certain communities with relatively conservative and somewhat 'God fearing' ethos within the Southern united states. The communities are largely cohesive with a unified culture and strong societal norms.The use of paddling often reflects in these communities the experience of punishment at home. Whilst it is difficult to argue that in these communities the use of the paddle - moderately- and on young children is anything but congruent with the social norms of the area, it is certainly not the case that the same can be said for type of situation you describe. Indeed the one 'Achilles heel' argument on paddling is exactly this. that individuals such as yourself get through the net and can use children and adolescents for their own personal sexual gratification, and can act out the role of dominant in a legally sanctioned setting.
I have nothing against what happens between adults in a consensual situation behind their doors : but using other people's children for a thrill is in my mind grossly unacceptable in a civilized society .When you 'up' the punishment for your own pleasure this becomes far more than unacceptable.
I'm not sure that the piece you wrote above entirely meets network 54's criteria of 'family forums' but that's for the moderators who obviously feel it does. I found it more like the stories you can look up on so called 'adult' schoolgirl sites. The fact that you tell us ( and let me make it clear I have no reason to doubt your honesty) it is true should send a chill down every parents spine.
After all you were a teacher in a position of trust which you appear to have deliberately chosen to abuse.