All boys will be bare-bottomed during P.E. lessons with the exception of those that forget to bring their P.E. kit. They will participate in the lesson in their pants.

This replaces the notice concerning P.E. lessons (No pants!!) issued on 25 May 2002.

‘A’ Level Greek – every boy will be entered.

French Oral - every girl must bend over backwards. No lying down on the job!

Hockey Final - two legs, with a comfortable gap between.

Girls are not admitted to St. Pant’s School at present. (See notice of 26 May 2002 and many others).

If enough interest is shown by members however, I will punish girls providing they wear boys’ pants.

Geography - it has come to our attention that girls are being asked by certain boys to lower their panties briefly in order to assist with the drawing of maps of Tasmania. Co-operation with such requests will cease forthwith.

The Headmaster has asked that I choose who should be Head Girl.

J.R.W. Nopants of the lower remove (the choice of the Headmaster) will remain as Head Boy.

We welcome to the staff Mr. K.D. Bottom who replaces Mr. Pants-Downboy as Housemaster of Whitepants House.

Mr. I. Slipper will now be teaching Corporal Punishment at ‘A’ level. He replaces Mr. N.O. Funslippering who becomes Head of Sodomites.

We are pleased to announce that GM Whackem-Harder III, like all his forebears who attended St Pants, has finished bottom of the class in Maths (not to mention grammar and social history). He will be lowering his pants in today's maths lesson to assist with the teaching of geometry. Having had his regular morning appointment with his great-grandfather, he will be providing the visual teaching aids for today's lesson in geometry, where pupils will work out how to find the precise angles of what is known as the 'bared gate effect' using trigonometry. Pupils will then be encouraged to create new lines and angles using their visual aid.

The Fun Bummers Half Marathon will be held in the P.E. changing rooms on 20 September commencing at 06.30. (Non-starters not accepted).

On 2 October at 14.00 Mr. N. Chamberlain will address the School on the subject of ‘Pants in Our Time’.

Modern Languages Dept: We are pleased to announce that the celebrated Russian master, Ripunda Pantsov, will be joining us next term.

New pupils should be aware that the term 'Head Boy' is a position of authority and NOT an instruction.

Last term the St. Pant’s second eleven football team won promotion to the first division of the Near-a-Lake League. We must not allow them to go down.

This week the school was honoured to receive a visit from a former headmaster who, along with his grandson Martin, performed their own version of ‘The C*nterbury Tales’.

“Wan that younge boyne must a slipperened be
I done give it them on the botome baree.”



Dates for your diary:
Sodoms Day is October 10
Allbends is October 25
Nopants is November 1-30

Lightsoutpantsdown is at 21.00 for the rest of the Slippers Term.

All boys will be bare-bottomed during P.E. lessons with the exception of those that forget to bring their P.E. kit.

The Headmaster
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A whole lot of years ago when P.E. classes were segregated by gender at the high school I attended, there actually was one incident where a boy was made to take P.E. bare-bottomed.

Our P.E. outfit consisted of a tee shirt, short, jock strap, athletic socks and sneakers. This one boy (10th grader who was likely 15 years old) frequently showed up for class without his uniform or some part of his uniform. The P.E. teacher was always getting on him about it.

One day the boy shows up for gym but had didn't have his shorts. The P.E. teacher made him take about 10 minutes of the class without the shorts so he was there in his shirt, sneakers, socks and jock strap only. After the 10 minutes, the P.E. teacher let him get dressed and sit out the rest of the class.

I don't know if the P.E. teacher got in trouble for doing this. It is likely that he might have. I do know he never did it again and that kid was transferred into a different P.E. class.