It was 1957 I was 11 years old and at the end of the summer holiday I went to the "Big School" which was what we called the local Grammar school.

I was very excited and proud to walk to the bus stop in my new uniform. My sister Paula, 3 years older than me, was starting the 4th year at the same school and we travelled together.

I had heard all about the school from Paula who had enjoyed her first 3 years there. Like all schools at that time there was corporal punishment but according to Paula it wasn't much used unless you did something really bad.

The first couple of weeks went really well and I made lots of new friends. The teachers all wore gowns and looked a bit fearsome but as long as you did your homework and behaved in class there was no problem.

I used to walk home with my sister, usually accompanied by a couple of her friends. It was only a couple of miles and we used to pocket the bus fare (a halfpenny at the time) and spend it on sweets. I liked this. I was quite a small boy for my age and I was quite proud to be walking along chatting to these three girls who were all quite tall, head and shoulders above me, and were really young women.

In about the third week we were walking home and stopped outside the sweet shop. The girls were whispering to each other. My sister then gave me a few pennies and a note. She told me to give the note to the lady in the shop. I was a bit in awe of these big girls and so I did it without question and was surprised when the lady gave me a packet of 5 Woodbine cigarettes. I took them back to my sister and off we walked down the road.

After a few hundred yards the girls went into a field behind a large tree and I naturally followed. Out came the cigarettes, a match was produced and one of them lit-up. I hadn't seen my sister smoke before but she seemed to know what to do as did the other two as the cigarette was passed round and lots of coughing ensued. I plucked up courage and had a puff and nearly choked.

From nowhere one of the teachers appeared and she noted our names and forms and warned us there would be trouble the next day. The girls were obviously worried but one of them put the remaining cigs in her satchel and off we went home in silence.

The next morning our names were read out in assembly by the deputy headmistress and told to go straight to her office. The fact that the headmaster wasn't there that day seemed lucky to me because he looked a fearsome character.

Standing outside the office Paula asked her friend if she thought we would get the cane. "Hope not" was the reply. I had been caned on the hand at junior school but the word was that in the Big School you got it on your behind. Even at age eleven the thought of seeing these big girls bend over for it was exciting enough for me to half hope that we did get caned despite the pain for me.

A green light went on above the door and in we went. There was the deputy headmistress sat behind a large desk. She was a tall lady, a bit plump with a kindly face. "I'll come straight to the point" she said in a quiet voice "you were all seen smoking yesterday. Correct?" We all nodded our heads. There seemed little point in denying it. "You know how I detest caning older girls so I am going to give you four detentions". Did this include me I wondered. She then looked straight at me. "This is extremely bad behaviour for a first year boy and I am going to give you the cane". I was frozen rigid and couldn't have protested if I had wanted to.

She went to a large drawer and took out a very large cane. It seemed to be about as long as I was tall and had a bent handle. "Bend over the desk" she commanded. I couldn't believe this. It was all their fault. If anyone should get away with it it should be me. I looked at them lined up looking less pale and more cheerful now. I went and bent over the desk having to stand on tip toe to do it. She stood behind me and swished cane through the air which made a terrifying noise. I thought I was going to pass out then whoosh!! splat!! and the pain hit me. I saw stars, my teeth rattled and my whole body felt on fire. The second and third followed in quick succession and I didn't really feel those after the shock of the first. She had stopped and went to get up. "One more" she commanded so I bent over the desk again. The fourth was worse than the first and I leapt up and danced round the office in agony. Once I had spent a few seconds dancing I line up with the girls to see her writing in a large book. "You may all go now and let that be a lesson to you" and out we went.

As we walked down the corridor the three girls were cheerfully chatting about how glad they were that they didn't get the cane and seemed oblivious to my agony and tears.

The unfairness of this incident has never left me but I still find the thought of being caned by a dominant lady very exciting, preferably with another lady watching.

"The unfairness of this incident has never left me..."

Yes, yes. And I'm sure that when the policeman pulls you over you whinge 'but all the other drivers were speeding, too'.

And there wasn't any hope of redressing the injustice by accidentally letting your parents know of the situation? Perhaps slyly informing them why your sister was so late home from school?

I have to admit, though, getting you to buy their fags for them was pretty clever. It reminds me of something my cousin and I would have done with her little brother.

A delightful bit of whimsy, reminiscent of the work of the long-lost James.

If one were to take it seriously, one would have to ask how a teacher could suddenly appear 'from nowhere' in the middle of a field.

I also wonder why the teacher failed to confiscate the cigarettes?

Still, a wonderful little piece.

If this is indeed James, could you perhaps tell us some more about Miss Ross again? Please?