A correspondent called Bert reports that he was frequently caned by his housemaster. As a boy, Bert was big for his age and he reckoned that housemaster had a lech for any boy with a beefy backside.

After one beating Bert noticed that the housemaster was sporting an erection. Bert gave the housemaster a rub through his trousers.

The upshot was, the boy was beaten more than ever. The ritual always ended with the housemaster dropping his trousers and Bert pulling him off.

This continued long after Bert had left the school. He was 30 at the time of the last beating/wank. The housemaster was in his 70s and died shortly afterwards.

My question to you all: is this story a load of twaddle or is it extreme enough to have really happened?

The demi-monde of the teaching profession has practised strange rituals for centuries and therefore I see no reason to doubt this story.

With whom did the correspondent called Bert correspond?

There cannot be the slightest doubt that such events - and far worse - took place at various public schools.

Whether or not they happened to Bert is, however, a different matter.