take a look!well worth it....but no C.p!!!
not to worry yer still love it!!!!

I think westham lad is referring to a five part series entitled ‘That’ll Teach ’em’. It is being shown on Tuesdays at 21.00 on Channel 4 and not as stated above.

I am unable to watch. Tuesdays are my nights for Bingo and also I no longer own a television set.

Bitch Karen – you’re not missing anything.

Those kiddies in the film ought to be horse-whipped.

A school in the 1950s with no CP? That's a real oxymoron.

Lizzie Enfield, Vanora Leigh, Lis Solkhon – these are some of the female hacks employed by the Brighton Argus to produce around five hundred words each, every week, detailing the unremarkable events in their unremarkable lives. Lizzie tells of the people she meets on train journeys, while Vanora concentrates on supplying the intimate details of her domestic life. She has an obsession with a relative to whom she refers as ‘the mother’. Lis is known for her amazing ability to turn out five hundred words on any subject within ten minutes.

Although their articles are embarrassing to read, these hackettes will no doubt shamelessly ramble on for years to come. Only one of their number, Jacqui Bealing, complaining about the present heat wave, admits to her own ineptness. As she puts it in today’s edition: ‘My brain has turned into a cloud somewhere and is drifting over Brighton.’

On Saturdays, Vanora assumes the role of television critic. Here follows part of her piece about ‘That’ll Teach ‘em’.

‘The girls had to remove their makeup while the boys were all given short back and sides. Designer trainers and T-shirts were discarded and replaced with a typical Fifties school uniform which included, for the girls, serge gymslips and regulation knickers. Ah yes, I remember it well. I also remember the after-school hours spent in detention, writing lines – hundreds, possibly thousands of lines. No lines yet for any of the new intake – but there will be. Already a little posse of potential troublemakers is emerging. Among them is Nick from Manchester who arrived with enough cakes and sweets to stock a tuck shop. When his calorific cache was discovered, Nick suffered the wrath of the deputy head, Mr. Perry (all the teachers are the genuine article). In my day, Nick would have been caned but since corporal punishment is now outlawed in our schools – including the Fifties version – Nick got off lightly and was merely sent to bed early.’

I do believe that Vanora is attempting to write erotica: she could learn a great deal from dear old Fran.

The journalists mentioned sound capable enough to be given employment on any of our national newspapers. Vanora Leigh, for example, could turn out a regular column for the 'Telegraph', something like 'It's a Funny Old World!.'
I wonder though...in the piece you quote did Vanora realize that her writing was assuming the form of 'erotica'? Further, do the producers of 'That'll Teach 'Em' consider that they are making a programme that could be classed as 'erotica'?
Some people - not me - might be able to write about serge gymslips and regulation knickers, indeed even the cane, without the notion of erotica entering their thoughts; perhaps Vanora is one of those people?

Its a shame they couldn't use the cane, slipper or just a good old fasioned spanking on the pupils of this TV program, but of course they can't as C.P. is outlawed at school, home or nostalgic school based TV shows, other than by the parents.

However I wonder if any TV producer has thought of having a late night channel 4 version with over 18 year old pupils? The pupils could be spanked and caned and there would be lots of chances for dormitary lust it would be far better than big brother and with all the school disco club scene I bet it would be huge.

Anyway if there are any TV producers reading this don't be afraid of stealing my idea, mind you any TV producer reading this has probably already had this idea.

There is no doubt that Vanora has made a crude attempt to write a piece of erotica. Like most of our members, she knows that the majority of men are turned on by the vocabulary of punishment.

Notice how she builds to a crescendo from ‘regulation knickers’ through ‘detention’ and ‘writing lines’ to the orgasmic ‘would have been caned’. By adding ‘In my day’, Vanora is implanting in the mind of her readers the questions, ‘I wonder if she was caned and if so, how many strokes and what colour knickers?’ etc. etc.

We shall never know if Vanora was caned at school, but she certainly ought to be now for writing such rubbish.

Should anyone wish to ask Vanora about her own experiences of corporal punishment, they may write to her at:

vanora.leigh@theargus.co.uk

The programme has its own message board at:

http://community.channel4.com/6/ubb.x?a=frm&s=162603557&f=205604281

There are many contributions on the subject of corporal punishment.

The message board referred to by Roger has attracted some very emotional people, at least one of whom does not know the meaning of the term ‘corporal punishment’.

Let us hope that they do not find their way to our Happy Circle where subtlety and understatement are highly valued.

Two of the contributors to the ‘That’ll Teach ‘Em’ Message Board have been taking lessons from Carl and his Mats. One is of the opinion that ‘fagging’ refers to smoking cigarettes and another writes, ‘I myself is only 17 studying A-level…’

Here is another gem from the same board:

keeleigh New Member posted 17-08-03 18:25

i can remember once being sent to the heads office for backchatting,i was given a choiceof 800 word essay or the cane .i chose the cane thinking it would not last as long ,my bum throbbed for ages afterwards,i had to remove magazines(padding).