Dear Bob,

I assume there will be further episodes added to your story and, as you are aware, I hate to interrupt a man in full flow, so have opened this thread to express my heartfelt thanks for your wonderful tale.

Although a relative newcomer to our Happy Circle, you have absorbed its clichés, conventions and idiosyncrasies. I await with eager anticipation the next instalment.

Here are a few more stylistic devices that are much favoured by our writers. You may wish to include some of them in future pieces:

The use of, long, long sentences; the passive voice; the subjunctive mood; words such as ‘hereunder’, ‘thereto’, ‘thereof’ and parentheses.

Keep on a-postin’

Gillian

Dear Gillian; Thank you for not ripping my story to shreds. I know you are a pro. My amateurish attempts must look very crude.Creativity was frowned upon at military school.And writing fiction was not part of the curriculum.

I was also worried that you might be offended by the direction the story was taking. Or by the use of your name.

Subjunctive may be a little to subtle for this red blooded American male to master.

Dear Bob,

Very few things that appear on this forum offend me, so please continue writing.

I fear, however, that when dear, dear Christine reads your story she may be slightly put out. All she wants nowadays is a nice quiet little life in her nice quiet little house in Bexhill-on-Sea, which is approximately twenty-five miles east of Hove Lagoon.

Gillian

It was thoughtless of me to include Miss Keeler without permission. I do hope she will forgive me.
There was no malice intended.I can only hope that her sense of humour prevails.If she would like the story deleted,I would have no objection.I was only having some fun.Gillian, you have succeeded in making me feel terrible.The last thing I would want to do is hurt someones' feelings.Especially Christine who has been treated so badly by so many men in her life.I would cut off an ear and enter a monastery but my son needs me.And the celibacy thing just doesn't fit into my long range plans.

Dear Bob,

Please do not feel badly about upsetting Chrissie. Despite desiring to spend the rest of her days in anonymous suburban comfort, that woman is as tough as a badger’s arse. (That’s ass to you other folks in the Colonies.)

Gillian

Thank you, Bob, for including me in your story. Should you continue this charming tale, could you possibly describe me as a ‘society playboy and man about town’. (The town being East Grinstead).

Following the advice of Mzzzz Browne, I have used in this message an example of the subjunctive mood and a (perhaps unnecessary) parenthesis.

Miles I do have an idea floating around in my head, but I haven't worked it all out yet.I hope you don't mind falling somewhere in the middle of Hugh Heffner on one extreme and Walter Mitty on the other.It may take a few days to work it out. Maybe you can get John Hurt to be your under study.