I was channel-surfing late last night and came across a young man with a lighted candle up his backside. Another man ued a bull-whip to extinguish the flame, then wrapped the lash around the candle and pulled it out with an eye-watering flourish.

The programme was called 'Sin Cities' and was hosted by a UK man. The location was London. We watched young Soho ladies learning the art of lap-dancing and the host also boxed some naked girls and lost.

The climax was a visit to a North Reading school where Matron and the headmistress were rather keen on corporal punishment. The host was given a few light smacks with a tawse across the hand. 'Oh f***k! Oh f**K!' he yelled. The headmistress put him over her lap and gave him a few smacks on the trousered seat. He did not like that, one little bit.

The headmistress was relentless. The host was bent over a vaulting horse and had his shorts pulled down. She gave his backside a tap with the cane. 'Oh, f***k! That f***king hurts!', he yelled. She gave him three light strokes before he broke free and disappeared down the stairs.

That's the trouble with the younger generation today. Limited vocabulary and no bottom.

The whip-cracker told us that the noise the whip makes is actually a mini sonic boom, caused by the lash travelling faster than the speed of sound. It is called a 'bull whip' because they used to be made from a bull's penis. Who said television wasn't educational?

Seth

Could the headmistress be Miss Prim? There is a thread about her school - Bottom of the Class - which is now on Page 6.

It could have been the same place. The classroom was upstairs. Gillian's descriptions of the headmistrss and Matron tally with the women in the TV programme.

Seth

No I can assure you that the lady on Sin Cities was not Miss PRIM. It was in fact Miss Lancer

Are we to presume that north Reading should be West Riding?

Yes, Nigel. Sorry about any confusion. I do my best and I'm only little.

Seth.

Some say the school is in North Reading.

Other say West Riding.

It's probably in South 'Rithmetic.