Great story! I spewed coffee all over my keyboard. I wouldn't mind getting a Golden Bush myself. I wonder who I should send the cleaning bill to? Maybe GB in C/O Dirty Des?

Dirty Des - don’t-cha just love him. Here’s a guy who bought up a boring old newspaper like the Daily Express and turned it into the Daily Sexpress with lots of lovely titties and bums to give readers a sexotic sexperience when they travel on the sexpress train from SusSex every morning and has provided jobs for thousands of hacks like me.

Dirty Des - ain’t-cha sick of him! Go back to producing your ‘Asian Babes’ porn, Mister, and leave our family newspapers such as the Daily Express alone. Do I want to look at pictures of fat titties and bums over my Shredded Wheat at 6am? No siree! My resignation is on your desk. This gal’s off to work for Pervy Paul Dacre!

The only thing missing from this story is a villian. I think a good name would be Juicypants. Everyone hates juicypants.

Another exicting installment from Man in the Pits. I am left wondering what will happen next. Will Peaches dream come true? Or will she get the dreaded cane! If she does, will there be knee trembling involved? Who will win the coveted Gates of Heaven..no wait, it's the Golden Bush Award. All these unanswered questions. I am on the edge of my seat, waiting for the next installment.

Thank you for your kind comments, Bob. There are no real villains in Speedway. I suppose the person who came closest was Split Waterman who rode for Wembley and occasionally had a man off.

I have my full support. Always.

That should read: You have my full support.

No, 'I have my full support' (geddit?) is much better.

"We could do with someone like that in the Panties" LMAO! Double-entendre? Well maybe I'm just a he-slut.

Gillian; After you finish the story, I would like to use it as a "bed time story" for a certain grown up girl I know. With your permission of course. And credits to the author.

Dear Anonymous Bob,

I am delighted that you have found a double meaning in ‘Problems with Modern-Day Speedway‘: some of our readers have found no meaning at all.

Please use, adapt or change the story in any way you wish. It would be interesting to see the results here.

A big thank you to Man in the Pits for such an intriguing story. But what a sad ending! I got quite upset.