As you can see, I'm the largest man in England.

And that's just the fat ****'s waist size.

Jamie's large in another way too.

Jamie is a talented singer and song writer.

I saw his performance in Middlesbrough. Never before have I seen a man with an ability to empty a theatre in under one minute.

The neutron bomb of the entertainment business?

Gets rid of the audience but leaves the theatre standing.

Having read the ‘Childhood Dreams’ topic, I am convinced that James, Jelly and Jamie are very, very closely related.

I'm still hard.

If you're "hard" then I'm glad you're not standing behind me!

I wouldn't mind standing behind him, though.