KETTA

New thread-I can't insult Billy Thorpe with MY lyrics!


We are the Spanking Vicars
And our soul concern is your knickers.
Yes, we're holy men of the cloth,
But it's essential they are soon off!

Bent over font, altar or choirstall,
Your best interest is in their freefall.
Angel Gabriel and even Angel Claire
Will aid the Lord's work to see you spanked bare!

We're not scoutleaders nor fondling choirmasters,
We just exist so you come faster.
Ad Majorum dei glori-um,
A great excuse to smack your bum!


All three verses were followed in the few concerts in which the Vicars performed by rambling guitar and synth pyrotechnics in a cross between Bauhaus, the Meteors and three out of their brains young men, and one out of his brain 30 year old songwriting not quite as young man.

Other verses were ad-libbed in by the 30-year old songwriting vocalist and haven't stayed in the memory. This would have been how the single's lyrics would have looked on paper if we hadn't blown the chances of signing for Rough Trade, by insulting the label owner's wife.

She was Natasha, who had 2 hits with Iko Io & The Boom Boom Room. If looks and voice came into it, we sort of said, if she can get a recording contract in spite of those grevious handicaps, we should be laughing.

Only we weren't as diplomatic as that. The rep was a good friend of the label owner, too. So, goodbye to fortunes that might have been, to misquote the Everley Bros-and if I could successfully rhyme bitter with forgit her as they did twice,I'd have made that fortune anyway!

And the Latin was nicked from Mick Softley's 1967 idiocy "I'm So confused"-which probably sums up the audience after that. Who said the 80's was all naff, eh?


Steve M

Steve

My opinion, 80’s music positively naff, the real anti climax. So why do these lyrics make me think there was something out there, that didn’t materialise far enough, benefit to many.

Without boring you with the details, take out the sexual innuendo and it could have been written around an event, several years earlier, my reason for thinking ALL vicars were hypocrites as were most of their kin.

Gets my approval, blasted out any place, church halls/churches included, combined with the film The Devils ( Oliver Read) Altars and nuns.

BRILLIANT

Ketta

Steve

Hitting another off topic subject, quizzes, heard you mention you’re the dab hand. Try this one, DON'T CHEAT

This and similar were/are set every December for the pupils of KWC.

Given the end of Christmas term, pupils were tested on the first day back of the holidays, most poor soles, my brother included driving me mad with it. spent all Christmas researching the answers in days when computers, google or the like weren’t invented.

The rumour went if you did well you got a half day holiday, no one ever did,
The reality was detention, and many found out what happened if the results of that still produced low marks.

Could you have averaged a decent result at the age of 10-18 without the internet. Honest answer. Our office score today below 37 %.


I have the answers,

The 102nd King William's College Quiz


Where did feline combat end in a draw? What is Hydrargy rum? Who was nicknamed Toddy? That's right, it's as hard as ever ...

Thursday December 21, 2006

General knowledge paper 2006-2007, sat by the pupils of King William's College, Isle of Man
"Scire ubi aliquid invenire possis ea demummaximapars eruditionis est"

1) In the year 1906:

1 which bedstefar was mourned multinationally?
2 which fruity concoction rivalled the first all-big-gun ship?
3 who benefited, through his far-eastern mediation, from a Nordic inventor's bequest?
4 who emerged for a journey that would eventually take him to join the Iron Age dead?
5 which emasculated beverage received 1,3,7 trimethylxanthine as an alternative stimulant?
6 what named vehicle, having set off from Paris, arrived victoriously on the North York Moors?
7 what addition to the English language was introduced by a popular daily on January 10?
8 which vessel paid the ultimate penalty for cutting the corner off the coast of Murcia?
9 who was reinstated and decorated following the annulment of his guilty verdict?
10 which association agreed on a downsizing to 13?

2) Who is, or was:

1 the guy who went for his entire bundle on Apparition?
2 the clubman found at Blimp's when game is in season?
3 the foundling, whose amorous adventures finally led him to Wisdom?
4 the actress, having a familial connection with Douglas and parts of Kirkmichael?
5 the painter who introduced The Sleeping Beauty into a country- house salon with the aid of four thorny scenes?
6 the player who started, but later terminally departed from, a Sisyphean project, which proverbially failed to accumulate?
7 the clothmaker's son who built a barn and an eating house which was later the scene of a public execution?
8 the very stout, portly man, credited by the Standard with energy and sagacity?
9 the diarist, for whom consumption was a matter of daily concern
10 the composer who wrote an opera eponymously featuring one of the above, but made himself ineligible to appear here?

3) Chronologically:

1 which man in holy orders had a first edition of his own revolutionary theory of the heavens presented to him on his deathbed?
2 whose 17th-century sidereal herald did Rome find unwelcome?
3 whose Jovian satellite timekeeping led him to a measurement of the ultimate speed?
4 who gained posthumous and eponymous recognition for his prediction of a return visit?
5 whose puzzlement at 19th-century darkness was explained by a 20th-century American stargazer?
6 which Anglo-French duo helped find a heavenly incarnation of a sea god?
7 which, apparently unreliable, wanderer made two crossings within the space of eight years during the 19th century, none at all in the 20th, but is expected to complete another two in the 21st ?
8 in which year did a seven-part wartime composition become incomplete. 9 which two telephonists were at first irritated, but later gratified, by the background noise from an explosion?
10 which gravitational phenomenon has recently provided a focus on new worlds?

4) What:

1 is the drain?
2 is a mighty good road?
3 has restricted loads for 130 years?
4 might a dentist see in copper poisoning?
5 was the third and better-known name of Wilhelmine Dorothea?
6 embraces Cheshire, Kent, Lancashire and Oxfordshire under three legs?
7 generated a false sense of Gallic security?
8 separated the free and the enslaved?
9 secures a non-slip loop?
10 was breached by Haig?
5) Where:
1 did scissors counter subsidence?
2 does a phoenix oversee my rising again?
3 is a divorcee's grave marked with pomegranates?
4 do the lines 'Repentance is the Station then
Where Passengers are taken in' appear?
5 did Sue frequently attend the fictionalised Cathedral church?
6 does a surrealist's creation depict praise with various instruments?
7 does he remain, unspoken to, for days and days and days?
8 is a cross-legged gnome found among the angels?
9 might eider ducks have joined the pilgrims?
10 was she called to praise and pray . . . while the choir sang Stanford in A?

6) Where:

1 is there a through-otherness?
2 does a cold old black wind blow?
3 did Napper receive his death sentence?
4 do the donkeys equate to the unpaid flunkeys?
5 have the fair maids left, in a body, their woebegone swains?
6 should the lost comet be visible at sunset like a glimmer of haws and rose hips?
7 was the dredger grumbling all night in the harbour?
8 do the sons defy Pope, traitor or defender?
9 was the town famed for lovely Kitty?
10 did feline combat end in a draw?

7) Which:

1 first was a loathsome Lackwit?
2 second is sans everything?
3 third is also first?
4 fourth would be breached by Aurora?
5 fifth suffered episcopal impugnment of his pedigree?
6 sixth involved the location of China in Snowdonia?
7 seventh enters the aqueductus fallopii?
8 eighth is wholly philatelic?
9 ninth was for Victoire?
10 tenth was Too?

8)
1 Who saw the light?
2 What folds to make 36 pages?
3 What might be described as florless?
4 Who was a noble duke, in nature as in name?
5 Who, in modern parlance, was a hideous giant, all horrible and high?
6 What did Conrad describe as an Arab steed in a string of carthorses?
7 In which city did Signorelli depict The Last Judgment?
8 To which city did the Chaste transfer his court?
9 What was formerly Urbis Tellus?
10 Who was the voice?

9) Where:

1 did the ass-cart fail to turn up?
2 was Sixpenny warned to keep down the blind?
3 did Lady Diana give Prince Séliman a last kiss?
4 was a fat fool called Bhansi Lall the station master?
5 did I get a luncheon-basket, which I shared with the fat woman?
6 did a line of stiff sedate men in black broadcloth, and women in black veils, wait along the platform?
7 did the narrator buy a pocket ordnance map of Friesland?
8 was "native rabbit" later described as "jungle rabbit"?
9 is the station master greeted with feline elation?
10 did the narrator accidentally steal a bicycle?

10) Which decorative plant owes its name to:

1 an Essex rector?
2 King James I's physician?
3 a royal commissioner in Santo Domingo?
4 a Quaker professor of anatomy, albeit misspelt?
5 Linnaeus's honouring of which Moravian Jesuit missionary?
6 the recognition by a Danish botanist of the gardener to a Hanoverian King?
7 a Spanish abbot's memorial to which Swedish botanist?
8 a pioneer, who discovered the lymphatic system?
9 his country's first round-the-world sailor?
10 an ophthalmic anatomist?

11)

1 Who found the breath of Jupiter sulphurous?
2 Who had more of gravy than of grave about him?
3 What Indian souvenir brought £200 and a fatal industrial accident?
4 What had particular qualities of silence, power and trustworthiness?
5 Which invited dinner guest returned the invitation before guiding his host to Hell?
6 Who, following a terminal fever, now offers shellfish from streets of varied dimensions?
7 Who appeared as a gaunt vision, with icy glare and stern relentless brow?
8 Who broke his arm, wrestling with a slippery, oozy, horrible thing?
9 What grey, now ghastly white, appears in cold, windy weather?
10 Who do the sentries confuse with Alec James?

12) What:

1 was mark'd with permanent ink?
2 shared its fate with an auld body astride of a gate?
3 was produced as evidence of Wallace's impromptu meal?
4 provided nesting opportunities for the rodents of Lower Saxony?
5 was worn by the woman with the slender jewelled hand when greeting the narrator in Constantinople?
6 was the receptacle in which the narrator placed a stone, following a meal of Bologna sausage and chocolate, washed down with neat brandy?
7 Amazonian apparel was worn with brown shirts and blue knickerbockers?
8 did Mr Alexander Holder take as security for a £50,000 loan?
9 do the simple creatures hope to see impaled upon a tree?
10 are in contrast to a stiff upper lip?

13) Who or what:

1 is Hydrargyrum?
2 lost out to Bubo at Castle Frank?
3 was formerly farmed by Sigewulf?
4 is the bristletail of the kitchen cupboard?
5 are seen as a harvest mouse goes scampering by?
6 was rusticated for painting the Dean's house red?
7 did I catch when moths were on the wing?
8 was commemorated with a £1 blue?
9 was frustratingly unwheedlable?
10 was Harry Heegan's reward?

14)

1 who imposed a levy on beards?
2 who described a multinidal growth?
3 whose father had pigmented dentition?
4 what is also identified by Jack's midday bedtime?
5 which bearded and bright-eyed old tar delayed a wedding guest?
6 who suffered his beard to grow until it was about a quarter of a yard long?
7 what indignity did Hunan inflict on the suspected spies?
8 how did an old Grenadier address his statistician?
9 who had a beard of burnt-up black?
10 what was ignobly done by Regan?

15) Who:

1 claimed to eat cowdung for salads?
2 was offered a pigeon dish by the clown's father?
3 was described as the sweet marjoram of the salad?
4 had a bill amounting to 2s 6d for a capon and sauce?
5 threatened his daughter's suitor with a diet of bivalves?
6 asked the quarrelsome captain to eat the emblem on his cap?
7 urged against eating certain bulbs to avoid halitosis?
8 expounded on the virtues of pancakes and mustard?
9 required crocus stamens to flavour the pear pies?
10 indicated a preference for conserve of beef?

16) Which manufacturer's product is:

1 waxed?
2 a whorl of petals?
3 a Brahmin genealogist?
4 a pendulant tropical climber?
5 surely of very limited horsepower?
6 a blessed lottery of beauty, wisdom and modesty?
7 an American jazz saxophonist?
8 by the same token msupial
9 an absurd pretence?
10 palindromic?

17) Who:

1 was nicknamed Toddy?
2 had a bottled Arabian dormouse in his holster?
3 gave Clara a pair of sunglasses from Gruber's?
4 was accused of improper behaviour during a cave trip?
5 had never heard of Bernard Shaw, but supposed he was a Methodist preacher?
6 was mollified with a donation of a lightweight aluminium collapsible garden chair?
7 used astrology to choose a favourable time for treatment?
8 was brought to safety by Murray on a packhorse?
9 threatened to cut the throat of a Welsh parson?
10 assisted Clarice in her search for Gumb?

18) During 2006:

1 who won at 16 despite losing a 9 at 7?
2 which Voice in the Wilderness is now silent?
3 what has been dwarfed through orbital overlapping?
4 where was the result decided by glass balls ringing bells?
5 whose suggestion of a golden handshake was speedily revealed?
6 which exceptionally hardy annual has finally been gathered after 27 years?
7 who pronounced herself ready for Mr Prescott at S****horpe?
8 where was the theft of an Elizabethan reticule enacted?
9 where was revealed, a Day to remember at 1450?
10 whose anniversary recalled a 60s hit?

KETTA

When you think the divine sons of Mansfield, B-Movie, managed 1 bloody week at number 65 with Nowhere Girl & one week at 63 with the even better Remembrance Day,I think we weren't the only ones who life let down in the 80's.

Especially as their magnum opus, Marilyn Dreams, didn't even chart. All I can tell you is that the bootleg CD Nightmares in Wax with all 3 on regularly goes for £30-40 on Ebay, so at least history is rectifying that one, or starting to.

As for the quiz-I presume participation was and is voluntary and only costs a small fee?

Otherwise, I might as a pupil have been tempted to say "Personne ne croit qu'un ficheur de deux centimes de ca". Or thought up some suitably satirical answers, which I might yet do! Then again, perhaps others here can do the same & we'll have a competition to treat this sort of thing with the contempt it deserves.

Do these people still think teenagers really want to do these sorts of things over the Christmas break?


Steve M


PS Apologies if the French is grammatically rubbish, but I can't put on paper a suitably Gallic shrug of contempt and incomprehension! Plus I can't think of the suitable idiomatic expression for "Who gives a tuppeny f**k about it"-my own asterisks, though!

Throughout this Forum I am known as a man of erudition and culture, but I’m buggered if I can answer any of these questions.

I am particularly interested in question 4)6. May I have clue please?

The only person with intelligence enough to answer these questions is the man that can make sense of a board game involving:-

1 x Black Dice
2 x Housebricks
3 x Black bin bags
1 x Victorian lamp post
5 x Gold rings
1 x Yellow Reliant Robin
4 x Barrels of Dry Blackthorn

SC

I think Lotta should be barred from entering this competio. With her unerring grasp of the truth of all things, she must surely be able to answer questions as simple as these!

Is 4/2 the Rock Island Line?

Gullible old me again

…I know the answer to question 2)3. A friend of mine was in the film - as an onlooker in the fight scene near the end.

And following on from that, I can answer 2)10. The opera in question is rarely performed nowadays, but I was unfortunate enough to be in the pit orchestra during a short-lived revival in the eighties.

I am particularly interested in question 4)6. May I have clue please?

JOhn The answers are more cryptic than the questions

Best clues I can come up with

4)6 Clue: Dunkirk, Normandy landing but can't work out Kent


…I know the answer to question 2)3. A friend of mine was in the film - as an onlooker in the fight scene near the end.

2)3 Think your off course here John, The inclusion of prostitution and sexual promiscuity in the plot, think about the answer to 2)10 the name appears there as well

And following on from that, I can answer 2)10. The opera in question is rarely performed nowadays, but I was unfortunate enough to be in the pit orchestra during a short-lived revival in the eighties.

Name the opera and you might make the link to 2)3

K

Danny

4)2 You have the right answer

but Lotta might tell you different, be warned.

Ketta

Thank you for the clue, Ketta. It really gives it away. The answer must be Teletubbies.

The foundling/opera question - ‘Tom Jones’ surely.

KETTA

If Lotta had been on the bloody Rock Island Line,especially as the toll person, the flipping train would still be there, 52 and a half years after some bright spark at Decca decided Lonnie Donegan's pass-away-the-interval-routine at Jazz Band shows, recorded in 1954, would make a spiffing single.

It made number 8 on both sides of the pond, and single-handedly launched rock n roll in this country! It also inspired Paul McCartney, John Lennon,Keith Richard and Pete Townsend into guitar purchasing.

Not bad for a moustachioed Glaswegian banjo player, bless him!


I do suspect, from the immortal Ledbelly lyrics to RIL, Lotta would NOT have let a scrap of pigiron get by HER, bless her!



Steve M