To all those who were caught, and to those clever buggers who said they knew it was a stunt all the long, I have decided that due to a lack of interest (on my part) I will not be posting any April Fools Day pranks on the board this year.

I have to put this down to the lack of interesting posts form members who should be ashamed of themselves for not bothering to post.

Fortunately, there are a couple of members here with whom I have struck up friendships with and I shall be meeting in person when I visit the UK in October.

I shall be distributing Complimentry jars of Vegemite, cans of VB (Victoria Bitter and Packets of Koala and Roo Poo (ask Steve M and Paul B, they will confirm they have tasted both) for those wishing to do a meet and greet at Heathrow.

For those who are familiar with that man about town, DS Bob of the Light Fingers Squad (ret) a mural of said Bob will be unveiled in the foyer of Australia House in London. The portrait titled "On the take again" depicts DS Bob in action at his money laundering operation at his favourite Chinese eatery in Rundall Mall which lies in the CBD in the fair city of (Croweater land) Adelaide.

One of the Police canes used on female offenders which comes from DS Bobs Police museum will go up for auction at Australia House immediately after the unveiling of the Portrait.

Just in case anyone thought this WAS an April Fool's post, I can confirm it is not. Paul B & I are looking forward to this as much as Derek Dougan & George Best rising from the grave, I can tell you!

Mr & Mrs Mike are indeed coming to the UK for an official state visit. We are very much hoping to bring off some massive spoof, which won't embarass our good wives & won't get us arrested.


Steve M

G'Day folks!

Just a brief word on the auction portion(?) of Mike's message above.

Sources close to the FCOAPSSS(Former City of Adelaide Police Spanking Squad Society)have revealed that the Cantonese Government have lodged a seriously bonza bid for the cane.

In excess of $AUS 5 million!

The plan is to reproduce some 30,000 of the instrument in sweat-shops across the Peoples' Republic and then open the Bejing Olympics with a massed display of bare-bottomed caning of the children who worked on the replicas' reproduction-it's cheaper than doves,balloons and fireworks!

Equally, I understand from diplomatic sources, than the Bejing Govt. reckons it might as well be hung for a lamb as a sheep;if it's going to be accused of human rights abuse,it might as well add mass child abuse to it.

I've just sent Warnie down to the offie with an order for the winter's telly down here, as the Rules season's just started, with a substantial reduction in just 2 games of the wombat-trod vintages!


DS Bob

G’Day to you Mike

Having been one of those that entered the spirit of your last April fool must say I’m heartily disappointed you didn’t get it together with that other partner in crime, Steve, give us all something to ponder over. Shame on you both.

I have to agree, the lack of on topic posts has practicably diminished but inevitable, events extinguished and memories exhausted over time. Maybe we could encourage some of the old regulars back with occasional off topic banter.

Working In the IOM this week, where the non smoking ban came into force on the 31st March. The newly erected shelter aptly named the opium den is just across from my office window. We played a small April fool trick on the poor smokers subjected to using it. Obtained a copy of the smoking regs, added an extra clause that all smokers had to fill a required time sheet, entering their name time of arrival and departure, failing which they would be subject to company disciplinary action, The said attached to the wall. Sitting back and watching several irate people struggling to complete the form whilst smoking in high winds was a rare treat. Most seemed very time conscious for a change. Chargeable time doubled. However the number of complaints to management and personnel re infringement of rights etc , mumblings throughout the building this was no more than a time management exercise was well evident, and quickly prompted an email to go round the entire building which upset our 30 stone Mr Health and Safely himself. The ironical thing is this shelter has be erected right outside a fire door to which is stuck a huge notice “Fire exit Keep clear” that’s health and safety officers for you.


Anyhow, glad to see DS Bob is in for some honourable recognition, might take a shifty down to Australia House and but a bid in myself, but if you want to see a real Brit Caning get your mate Steve to take you Old Trafford, not sure who will be up for the thrashing in October, but someone will see red and well worth a visit, that’s if you don’t get mugged at the new terminal 5 where a few leftover stranded passengers would welcome you and your complimentary offerings with open arms.

Mike don’t know if you could help with this – do you know any Australian books or sources (not the Australian Museum) that could identify an Australian marking on the roundall of a pre 1905 lee Enfield rifle.? Not having much success this side of the pond

Ketta

G'Day Ketta!

Afraid seeing you postin' has put the old fella into a bit of a trance-or it could be the bloody bonus bottle of grog from the offie! Cristiano Ronaldo Scousef**ker 36-proof port!!

Anyhow, the old boy's lot in Lily Law were into smoking areas some years back. Trouble was, the Force decided shinning up the eucalyptus was as good a place as any for a drag.

Which is fine on scorching hot days.

But when it rains, eucalyptus bark is amongst the slippiest substances in our wonderful country, almost as slippery as the old man in his Spanking Squad where's me backsheesh, then prime! Net result was complaints galore from the citizenry as officers descended en bloc on them and NOT in a dawn-raid scenario.

The old boy wasn't the only boy or girl in blue who coulda done with counting the calories or cholesterol back then.Or now!

Warnie!

Ketta being the proud owner of a SMLE I would suggest that you locate the Lee Enfield owners club, look it up on google.
There is a forum and you can ask for advice.

Thanks Mimi

Exhausted this avenue and other sites.
SMLE MkI was officially adopted in 1902, this model is the cavalry combine marked 1901, suspect a proto type, nothing conclusive in searches , Colonel Brusch might have had some connection hence the Australian connection

Ketta

Ketta,
Lee Enfield MK 1 rifle
The " Long " Lee Enfield, made in 1900.
Had a dust cover on the bolt.
1895, Designed at The Royal Small Arms factory
at Enfield.
A later model was used by the 3rd Battalion Royal
Australian Army in Korea.

Ketta as you probably know the "roundel" markings refer to government acceptances etc, describe them to me and I will ask around.
I take it you mean carbine rather than combine?
The experts on these firearms are Messrs Fultons at Bisley Camp. They have a nice old boy who works on them and sets sights etc.

G'Day DS Bob

Can’t compete with the Cantonese bid mate , so that’s me out of the bidding.

But trusting Warnie will lay off the grog, long enough to do you proud with one of those massive wide screen telly jobbies, no other way to view such a spectacular bare bottom opening, sport in it’s own right, never mind the aussie fast bowlers.

The big question!! and you will remember Bob, from your days on the London Alsatian beat, visibility, not much you can do if a thick pea-souper engulfs the Olympic arena, devastating.

BUT, and here’s a thought, should the Bejing spectacular go pair shape, a man of your notoriety and fame could assist in liberating some of those replicas for our local use, our friend Bozo’s encountered delinquents en mass out there in the suburbs, with the word on the street two of your own are gracing our soil on official state visit, in October , what better way to great them, than a spectacular showing of our own delinquents rears in the hallowed grounds of Wembley, killing two birds in one stone, and not the crow variety

Mustn’t detain you further Bob from your fine vintage, so bottoms up all round.

Ketta

Hello Ketta, I apologise for not replying sooner but I had internet problems and was without the service for a couple of days due to the service provider updating their modems.

To answer your question, I may need a bit of time with this one. I have friends with expertise in this field and I shall ask them for you.

I am only aware that the Australian Army used the .303 calibre rifles in the Boar (or is it Bore, I never remember. But after all war is a Bore!) WWI and WWII.

I once spoke to a Korea veteran who mentioned that he hauled around a 303 but never fired a shot from it. They did however use another rifle but I can't remember what it was.

When I was in the Army in the late sixties and later the Airforce in the seventies and eighties, the 7.62 SLR was in use. I have no idea what the services use now. I have to admit I am not a fan of guns or rifles, however, I will ask around and get back to you.

M.